5 Ways to Ruin a Relationship

These days trying to keep a relationship together can be tedious. There are so many things to consider when dating.  The likes and dislikes, the ups and downs and just communicating can seem daunting. Things which can sometimes be simple, become way too complicated.

When we enter a relationship, we are happy we look forward to seeing each other and everything is peachy. We call each other when we say we are and we plan to see each other a regular basis. We are in sync and communicating with each other seems effortless. But then something happens. Somewhere along the line things start to get a little twisted and off balance. I call, you won't answer. I call again, and you still won't answer. I am busy when you're free and vice-versa. All the love in Pleasantville has gone down to the alley in Horrorville and you can't figure out what happened or maybe you can.

If you have done one or all of these things then you may be the culprit in helping in the demise of your relationship.

1. NEEDY: No one really likes to be with someone who needs them all the time. It is a sign of insecurity and needing constant validation is not a good look. Have a life or get one real quick.

2. OVER COMPENSATE: Sometimes it's really hard not to show someone how much you like them. I suggest you just do it all in moderation. Giving too much too soon, will ultimately lead to getting taken advantage of, walked over and used. If you are not up for all that, please stop, learn to take a little.

3. LIE'S: Starting a relationship with an untruth will lead to more untruth's. Soon you will be dancing to the tune of "liar, liar, pant's on fire". Just don't do it. In order for someone to get to know you, you must be completely honest about who you are. And if you are not sure who you are, stay single until you find out.

4. CHEATING: No one likes to be betrayed. If you have agreed on being exclusive with each other, then be just that. If the discussion has never come up, please don't leave your exclusivity to assumptions, people get hurt that way. The only thing you can assume is that you both are still on the market.

5. FRIENDS: Not everyone is going to be happy because you are happy in your relationship, not even your dearest bestes of friends, especially if he or she is single. Keep your relationship details between you and your mate. Having frequent discussions with other people regarding your relationship will only lead to misinformed advice and you back to being single.

Peace & Love

Black Girls Rock!

This past weekend I had the honor of hanging out with my teenage daughter. Since the birth of her little sister our daughter dates have become far and few in between, so this weekend I made sure it was all about my daughter, Imani Special Lee.

We began the weekend with going to see "Colored Girls", which was a very moving movie that said about a lot about women in relationships, love, adversity and finding themselves. Although my daughter has had what seems like a peachy upbringing, this does not leave her exempt from the obstacles that life can throw at you. Sometimes the things that life throws at you, wake you up or make you change your direction. Whatever the case there is no real way you can be prepared, you just have to be prepared to learn the lesson.

We then got up early Saturday morning to walk in the Caribbean Sounds 5K Walk for Sascoidosis research. The lesson: Always give,always serve and always give a hand to the person that needs it the most. We live in a individualistic society. Rarely are people helping each other; there is, however plenty of let's see how much I can get for less. The it's let's compare toys. It's all the root of insecurity, because no one can really compete,so it becomes an endless strive for an unreachable place to nowhere. My daughter said to me even though it was grueling for her to get up on a Saturday, she was glad she went. She felt good for doing something for someone else.


On Sunday night we ended the weekend by watching BET's "Black Girls Rock!". I wanted to us to watch this to further give examples of what she can do. My daughter and I have always had conversations ever since she was able to talk. I make sure that she understands that her opinion matters and that she has the power to have the life that she dreams of. To love herself and never seek completion through a man, drugs or the approval of others. A complete life begins with the love for yourself. There is no one on the planet who can give you what you can, they can only add to what you feel about yourself. I teach her to live with no fear, explore life and move to the beat your own drum.

I know my daughter hears me and although often my rants may sound like blah, blah, blah to her, my hope is that one day she will remember what I shared with her. I learned a lot from my daughter as well. I learned that she is growing into a very intelligent and caring young lady. She loves people and wants the best for everyone. With all the things that my daughter could be involved in as a teenager, today, like most days, I am proud of her. The things I shared with her regarding my life and how I prevail even through the darkest of nights. It's possible. When you defy what people think of you, you soon realize that they never mattered in the first place.

Kiss your daughters,Peace & Love

Voted! And then some.............

Hello, Good morning, Buenos Dias, Hola, it is Tuesday, November 2nd and I hope you went out there and gave your.2 cents because it matters!

Alrighty then!

It is that time of the year when the holidays are coming near and the end of this year is ending as well. I am still single (meaning not married;)). Although I am not sad to report that, I am however just appalled at the length men will go to do absolutely nothing. Well, maybe not, but anyway. I am a lot happier. The move gave me freedom of mind, the girls are growing and healthy. My first book has been published and life just looks a lot rosier these days. Things can only get better so I am looking forward to the new year.

I meet a man about a year ago. We would often see other out at the local bar. He seemed like a nice guy and physically he was delicious; tall, dark chocolate, chiseled face with big hands (j/k). When we eventually talked he told me he thought I was stuck-up (Imagine that) and that I had a man somewhere. I also found out later through numerous conversations with him, that he also thought I was "out of his league". Huh? Now this is a man whom even though we exchanged phone numbers never really called. He would be excited to see me at the bar and how he always talks about me, but thought I was too busy to be bothered with him. Now, I thought about how he just basically just convinced himself that he didn't deserve me and made no effort to confirm it. I also thought about how many men feel that way about a woman? How they may like someone and believe she would probably never talk to them for reasons they made up in their head. Although I believe that if you convince yourself that you don't deserve something or someone, you're probably right, but you must take a chance.

If there are moments in your life that you want to meet someone but you just admire them from afar or you think you don't deserve a chance, take a chance! You are curious and you want to know more about that person, so find out. I did something different by contacting a person whom I admire. That was different for me, real different, did I say how different that was? I did not wait for him to talk to me, maybe he too was playing that "I don't deserve mind game", as shy as I can be, I took a chance and you should too.

As far as me and that man, he let too much time pass us by. Although I did have a crush and it probably would have been a nice relationship, I am no longer interested. In this life you have to seize the opportunity and make the most of it or it will pass you by. I have moved my interest and curiosity to another suitor and now I am just enjoying the view.

How to know when You're Slummin'

A few years ago I had my first slumming experience. It was fun and exciting, but I knew that it would be short-lived. For those of you who do not know what slumming is or is confused about how it relates to you, please let me explain. Slumming is when you are with a guy or a girl who you have nothing in common with, you're not even on the same intellectual level. You may even say that being with this person is dating beneath your "normal standards". You would have committed a slumming faux pas if you are ever seen in public. People would wonder how you two are together, how the hell did that happen, or what is she doing with him or her? There is no real connection except that the sex is insane, which is ultimately the glue that keeps you together.

Let me give you some examples, Janet was slumming when she got with Jermaine Dupri. I mean, the boy likes strippers and lesbians, good for a moment, but not a lifetime. Tiger Woods was slumming when he got with plenty of the miscellaneous hood rats from all over the U.S. He took slumming on a whole 'nother level. Jesse James was slumming when he cheated on Sandra Bullock with that tattoo chick. This slum act can be contested because he actually is still with this tattoo chick and that may constitute him as just slum himself. (And they too have since broke up.)  Bill Clinton was slumming when he let Monica Lewinsky give him that blow job.(Talk about dicks that will make you famous...lol).

During my slum expedition my family was damn near in an uproar. They were confused and sad. They thought I would fall in love, have a baby and marry this fool. That was the last thing from my mind. He served a purpose and at that moment that was all I needed. My mistake was letting them know who he was. Of course, when you have a family that see you as this college educated little innocent girl,(no matter how old I get) who likes having a boyfriend and is easily persuaded to do things that I would not normally do; they went into panic mode. This guy was not what they wanted for me; and I just wanted one thang, I mean thing.:) Aahhhhhhh family. They have no idea about the man eater I really am ("I am the envy of all women and I rule the men". ERYKAH BADU) and I do nothing to dispel their idea of me.  Any who.

A man will often slum more than a woman. Although we have our moments of weakness for men who are clearly not good for us, it takes time for us to get there, it has to be a phase or something. A moment in time that we allow ourselves to be and do something outside the norm. For me, I just needed a young man that could go the distance, keep up and then shut up! Men, however, tend to actually go after the slum chick, they are easy, available and will do anything. (i.e. Kat Stacks). She usually looks less attractive then the girlfriend or the wife and has nothing going for herself but maybe a fat ass and ummmmm well, a fat ass. Some men do not care how many and who has went up in that before them, they just want a piece of the pie (Kanye West).

O.k now that you have been edjumacated, I am sure you have a clear understanding of what slumming is. It's nothing bad, and although you will be judged harshly for it, try not to let it ruin your life. There is hope after slumming, you can move on and get a man that actually is more your speed like Janet did. She is now with a tall billionaire, that is so yummy. Yes, an upgrade was definitely in order. You can get that boyfriend that you often dream of in your head, he is out there. As women we have the power to get any man on the planet. Ladies, please recognize that power! And men don't underestimate it! And for men and women alike, try not to make slumming a everyday  life long thing, because being a slummer is really not a good look. It perpetuates insecurity and you will be inviting a long life of drama.

As some people often do, like, you totally would not want to marry one (in my valley girl voice).

Peace and Everlasting Love, Ya'll

Marriage Made in Heaven?

I often wonder about the institution of marriage these days. Where has all the love gone? These days it seems that marriage means, "Let me see how much bullshit I can throw your way before we decide to get a divorce". Or maybe it just means as long as I have someone to lie next to at night,who cares how dirty they are.

I see there are a lot of things that a person can go throw in a marriage that I simply do not think that I am built for. For instance, finding out that my husband is really gay, being cheated on numerous times or even being lied to.  Fathering other children, or having an "open" relationship. I am not sure those are things that God intended for marriage to be. It is a license that says you will be with me no matter what, I will love respect and honor you as my husband or wife and we will do our best to keep it together. I do not think that involves other people, but yet, people who are married participate in the swingers lifestyle. Sharing or swapping wives and or husbands, like it was placed in their vows.

I see husbands and wives cheating left and right. I see children being affected by it all. I see insecure women holding on to something that is not there anymore, just to say that they have a husband, is misery that important? Is the "look" of marriage more important than what it really is suppose to mean?  I see men putting up with disrespect from their wives and taking on lesbian lovers.  If that is what is the "norm" these days in marriage, then I'll pass.

 I probably won't ever get married because I am just too old fashioned. I believe a man should provide for his family. I believe in loyalty. I am liberal enough to know that the roles may change, but the rules still apply. There are rules you go by when you decide to get married. Rules, that are often broken so much, that you have to makeup more rules to accommodate the ones that were broken. I believe they should also share some responsibilities, whatever those responsibilities are should be decided between the two.It saddens me when I see a woman professing her love for her husband when her husband has others. Does she know? Is she putting on a front? Maybe they have an understanding.  the decision has been made to stay in it for the kids or financial reasons.  I don't know, but I know that at some point the institution of marriage really meant something.  And if did not involve checking a person's credit score. 

I know that marriage is hard, shit having a regular relationship is hard, but I think you should never invite other people into your marriage, EVER! And when you marry for the wrong reasons, it makes it that much harder. Maybe that's why it's hard, that ole' human need that desires another is natural. It's all about control and having respect for what you have at home. Unfortunately, some people have completely lost that. The want to be needed and desired from their husbands or wives becomes the responsibility of a mistress or the pool guy.   If it's just  for a night or ten years, that need eventually gets meet, along with the violation of your marriage vows. Is it really worth it?

I can have someone in my life and never get married, that's because I believe marriage does not validate a good relationship. Maybe one day I will cross that line, maybe I won't, either way I will have a clear understanding of who I am, and who I have invited to be such an intricate part of my life.

If you are married or in a relationship that may lead to marriage, do something special tonight for your loved one. Kiss her longer, hold him tighter, let them feel your love.  Communicate what it is you want and need.   You have to keep the spark alive at any cost, because if you don't someone else will. 

Back At It!

After a wonderful night at the Mary B.Morrison venue, I went out with one of my best friends for a late night dinner.

For some reason I have this incredible ability to hear conversations that I could careless about. Maybe because I have limited vision and you know if one sense if lost the other's are increased,or at least one is, mine is hearing. (the human body is amazing) Anyway, I hear a little man talking to his homeboy commenting on me and my friend. His words were, "Yeah dating pretty women is work,they require too much,they probably lonely,no man and mad, while glaring at us. OK this is the guy that also has a woman to the left of him. No she was not the most attractive woman, and I can understand his choice, based on his comments he seems a bit immature and insecure and any other "im" or "in" you can find. The fact that he was one step from being a midget also explained his disposition. Even though I prefer a tall man,I have nothing against a short one, as long as he has it where it matters and they usually do. But this mofo was losing it in all areas, bad attitude, gossiping about women and looking like a fucking gobbler. What nerve to speak ill about any woman, I guess he knows what he will never have.

I believe men know what kind of woman they can get. They do not dream big in that area because a man will only go for what he think she can get,and believe me if you give him any inclination that there is a inkling of a possibility of getting that a man will wait and be good to you, just based on the possibility. Women, we know from the jump. We just have to take the time to find out if this mofo is crazy or not. There are those who think they can get any woman, (I love them the most). The one's that have that superman ego and think they are God's gift to all women, they gamble, and put it all on what they can do with the dick. Like one woman said "Dick is forgettable". And I must add also too easy to attain, too available and ready and hard to get rid of sometimes. You can take that gamble with me, give me your best shot and I will enjoy it for what it is, just don't call me I will call you.

My first Appearance!!

Tonight I had my first appearance introducing my first book, Please Don't Date Me-100 Reason's Why

First I would like to say thank you to Mary B.Morrison, who gave me the opportunity to introduce my book at her venue. It was very exciting and I was very nervous, so nervous that I thought I would just freeze. I have to practice speaking in front of people. The fact that I am incredibly shy in front of strangers probably showed a bit. I also forgot my business cards, duh! This was a learning experience and a clear reminder to always "be ready".

Although I am very tired tonight, my adrenaline is still flowing through my body and I am wide awake, anticipating my next move. Planning this book signing, for real and stop procrastinating is my next move. I am so excited about this new venture.

Stay tuned, it gets better.

Good Night!

He winked at Me:)

Out hanging with friends watching football, trying to stay cool from the heat. I rarely get out socially and I thought I would take advantage of the hot weather and maybe flirt with someone.

We were all at the bar talking and laughing. I told the little 25 year old that was sitting near by with the gold grill how old I was and went on to have some kind of weird conversation about cougar's and how he was a tiger or cub or maybe even a pup. Not too sure what the point was, I was a little tipsy and just passing the time.

Then there he was.

I had seem him in this place before, but made no attempt to have a conversation or make eye contact. I just thought he was some guy that just hangs out at the bar. He was very tall, very handsome and after checking him out for a while, very friendly, did I say attractive? Ok. The evening went on and then I looked up and he winked at me. A nice wink, a flirt, who knows how long it took him to actually do that. (Men don't usually say anything to me, they just stare) And what did I do? I smiled and looked away from embarrassment of being winked at. I know, I know, sounds crazy, but that's exactly what happened. I did not look at him again and then he was gone. Wow,lady Good job!

So, I am not sure what he is about or why I froze up like a still photo, but I thought about it all night. My lack of dating these days has me completely unaware of what it looks like when a man is actually interested. I have got to get out more often. My friend said that he is "good people". I am not sure what's supposed to happen after this,but I am going to go back to that bar one day, just to see if he's there, maybe I will wink at him next time.

Untimely Meeting.......

There is a certain feeling I get when I meet people from my past is trying to get into my future. It's mind blowing to me because I am not always sure why this person is here in the first place, so my brain's begin to scramble, then I can not sleep,only because the intentions that are being presented are false and I see it and feel it and I wonder why.

If you are amazed that you are in the presence of someone and find that you are experiencing unexpected pleasure then,enjoy it for what it is. It does not necessarily mean that you are suppose to be a permanent statue in someone's life. This could all be temporary, like the weather, so dress accordingly.

I feel an energy that makes me afraid. What I see and feel are in conflict and it is what I feel that must win this battle, because my eye's and ear's are deceiving me. My intuition is never wrong. My insight allows me to see what is being hidden. Have you ever listened to someone and you knew that they were bullshitting you? But you listened anyway? Yeah, that's the feeling. You look at the source and you know that this can not be, but what you feel is true so you shake hands with that enemy and send him on his way, knowing that he is not there for the benefit of you, but for his own naive selfishness. I am no fool, but you are for thinking so.

Good Night, we will see how this story unfolds.

Follow Me...If you Dare

WOW!


Last night was a blast, did some light weight promoting my book and got some pretty good reviews. Now is the time for me to say when I am doing this book launching party. It will be a celebration indeed. I guess I have been procrastinating on that a bit because I am so shy and I do not really like the spotlight that much. It really makes me nervous. But this shall be another thing that I conquer....one day:)

I am so happy right now, I am fulfilling a long time dream and I know this is just the beginning of a beautiful journey.

Peace and Love Ya'll!!!

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Please+Don%27t+Date+Me&x=0&y=0

Reason # 18

" If I called a lot before sex and none after; please don't date me, I only wanted the sex".

How many ways?

How many way's can I tell you I am not interested.

How many time's do I need to say stop calling.

What do I need to to do to let you know that I am not interested.

Please....leave me alone. You are not "the one" for me.
I know that somewhere in your little head you think so, but I would have to agree with you in order for that to take place...ok?
Scram? Beat it!
Just find someone else. I was once told that there is someone for everyone, so please find your someone, it's not me. I promise.

Late and On time

Most of the things that I have accomplished in my life have come at a later time in my life. For instance, getting my degree, having a child, my desire to know thyself and to watch others. I have taken the time to really get to know what my purpose is and so my path has been set.

When I think about how people plan their lives according to their time clock I often laugh. Oh, I will get marry at this time, have a baby at this time, buy a house, blah, blah, blah. I guess for some things it's good to have a plan, but life is such a big canvas and has so many avenues and curve ball's how can you really plan. It seems more like hope. And besides when you have God in your life, you need to understand his plan. The universe has a way of destroying your plans and making you take another look at your little planned life and at who is really in charge.

God's timing in my life could not have been more perfect. When you truly let go and let God, there is nothing that you can not do. There is nothing more perfect when your plan coincides with that of a higher power. Nothing can break your path, whatever you have coming to you, will come,and above all it will come with ease.

I will probably marry late, have another child late, and live my best years later in my life, but to me all that will be on time and in perfect unison with what life has planned. I love it when things just come together.

Love yourself unconditionally, live in the truth and send out good vibes. The next time someone say's oh you are so late with that, or you should be here in your life by now, just smile and say, "I am right on time".

Live,Love Laugh!

My Book is here!!!!

Pick up Please Don't Date Me-100 Reasons Why at www.amazon.com or barnesandnobles.com

Thanks you.

Peace & Love

It's Late.....and I am writing

When the spirit moves me to write I just get up and do it. If I do not release this energy that is flowing through my body, then I will not sleep at all. That's just how an artist works. When you have creative juices flowing through your body it has no time or space. You can not turn it on and off. It's an continuous flow of energy that is carried like an conduit of electricity up and down, from head to toe and back again. Mine is released through my fingers.

I can sit here and close my eyes and go to work. It feels so good to be able to let go what is on the mind. There are some people who do not know how to communicate what they feel or see. They hold things in and either let it destroy them or they turn it into something else. Find another outlet like alcohol or drugs to numb what is being felt. When you do not know how to feed the soul or acknowledge that it's energy needs to be released and nourished to restore itself, you eventually die. You become a zombie in life, and what a tragedy that is. You live in a world where nothing is real because that is how you deal with things. You create false images and speak languages that only the numb can understand. You have died and written your own eulogy.

There is power in the pen. To be able to create visual images through the written word is not only an creative talent it can also serve as therapy to the mind and soul. As sleepy as I may feel physically my mind would have kept me awake. So I write. There is so much going on in the universe. So much to anticipate, so much changing naturally and forced. Are you awake to your existence? Or are you on auto-pilot living the life that is expected. When writing I can make the unreal seem real, bring the dead to life and breathe into the lines a whole new life other than my own. Yes it's alive because I feel what I write. I bring it to life because I understand what it is to be alive. I understand that there is something greater than me working through me, something that flows like a river, beautiful and natural like child birth.

I love what I do, I love what I can do. There is nothing that can separate me from what God has ordained as my destiny. I will write until I can not anymore. I will share, I will educate, I will submit to the art and let it show me the way. Finding that kind of love does not come everyday. Recognizing the love is even harder. Some people miss the message of their life,so it get's forwarded on. Be ready, look , ask and you will know what it is to be completely fulfilled by what it is that you love. But you have to listen in order to be heard.

Finally>>>>>

I have completely and officially moved and I will have the 1st round of my published book! The timing could have not been more perfect. I am in the process of completing my follow-up to the first book.
I am more than excited but haven't had the energy to celebrate,I will when book is in hand.
One of my good friends told me she was proud of me. I haven't heard that in a long time. I have a lot of friends, but very few "friends". I am glad to have her as my friend. We shall celebrate the cause!!

I am sitting at home in my new location to write, but the window with the tree's whistling. The night sounds are so clear and unfiltered with voices,noises, dog's barking or cat's meowing. There is nothing that needs me more than ever than my writing, I will stay committed and never cheat. Faithful we shall wride.

Peace and Love Ya'll..

Five Days A Week

 My life was out of control. Being out of control became the theme of my existence. I was hungry for peace, hungry to find and know who I am. My purpose, my reason for living. So far my life had been unfamiliar and cloudy like an empty glass of milk. My glass was empty. It was never filled with what was healthy and nourishing, it was tainted. Tainted by the liquor of life and I had drank too much.

Morning would come too soon and on time. I would again be faced with going to work. I would join the gathering, moving in like cattle at a place that most of us hated to go, but had to. A place that forced us to share our being.  Forced to share it with people who we would otherwise had  never known.  It was the constant five days a week contact  that provided a comfort of believing that maybe we do actually know each other. Each of us served our purpose for eight to ten hours a day. Ideas thrown in a bucket of insecurities, personalities and sorrows. Along with that our education, experience and ego's to generate and create the bottom line. For five days we would sell our souls and love it, or pretend we did. Smile with gratitude and let their god validate our reason for being here. It was a check or direct deposit into our souls. It became so additive that it would make us forget that we all wanted to be somewhere else, doing something else, with someone else. The cold reality that  we were conditioned to forget,  was that we all boiled down to a monetary value. No more and maybe less.

We had two days to regroup and convince ourselves that this is the way of life.  Forget the hell of the week and enjoy this paradise of the weekend. We screamed at the joy of our freedom, hating it because it is short lived, for Monday would come again.


LLW

Love Lee

"If there is something beyond love, I have reached that point and passed it".

There is not a feeling more special than love. It's as necessary as oxygen. To not allow it to flourish in your life is depriving yourself to fully breath. Everyone needs it at some point in their life. Everyone wants it, whether they admit it or not. It creates life and it can also destroy it if not properly handled.

I've been in love, I believe I fall in love with something everyday. I have loved, each time differently, but none stronger than the first. Magical and new, fresh like the fist rain in the spring time. Awakening in me emotions that I knew not existed, but glad they found their way to me. More careful the next time, found out that it could hurt, but not enough for me not to want it again, again and again. I know if it is given to me, then it is a gift, I understand the importance of taking care of it and staying true. So I give it with purity and truth. With all that God has given,all that the earth and universe supplies,I shall swallow myself in it. Swallow myself in he that shares, them that share, those that give.

I love being, giving,receiving,showing,expressing, experiencing love.

Blondie's Trip

It was a nice day today, so I decided to visit one of my favorite city's,Berkeley. Well,let me say as a child it was one of my favorite places to be. I grew up there a large part of my adolescence, so there are a lot of memories that were created there.

Upon my arrival we decided to visit he legendary Blondie's Pizza. You know the large pepperoni with cheese and a coke. Now they have several varieties that you can get,but I always go with the traditional. I was very disappointed that the slices were small compared to what they used to be, well at least our slices were. I also found the general attitude in Berkeley to be rude and unfriendly. As we were leaving Blondie's I said excuse me to a lady and she completely ignored me, I mean she literally ignored me, as I sat there with my child in her stroller needing the space to get by. I said again.."Ummm excuse me". She looked at me as if she was irritated and continued to look at the menu, at that moment I felt like taking it to West Oakland and going bad on her little chubby ass, but instead I created enough space just to let her know I will run over your ass and kept it movin'. I know I look very young for my age and that was probably the reason for her disgusting attitude, but honey please!

I went to a Walgreen's which is a store that was not there many years ago and the man that worked there was eagerly saying hello to everyone, but when I reached the counter to pay for my $8 finger nail polish, he did not say a word and this was after I said hello. Then he didn't even care to bag my product. I was pretty ticked off, so much so that I got back in line, addressed him with a "Hello, can you I have a bag please"? He looked shocked and a little embarrassed and probably thought I was a secret shopper or something. It didn't matter I refuse to be treated rudely by people in general, but even more so from people who are not from this country. How is it that you have the nerve to be rude to me and this is not your country? You are a freakin' visitor! More than likely you are here because somewhere down the line, my people made it possible for you to be here, where is your gratitude?

I will not be traveling to Berkeley Telegraph area for awhile. Although I love Berkeley I am going to say that the recession has caused people to lose their mind and today they wanted me to join them. I will continue to visit other small places that I love that provide great service and are happy to see me coming, because if I have to endure the unnecessary rudeness and bullshit attitudes I dealt with today, it may not be healthy for them.

Peace Ya'll

Moving On....

There are so many cycles to life. I believe we go through phases as part of our growth and changes are made to either force us to become better or remind us that we are in the same fuck up situation. Sometimes people choose to be in a sad existence. I really can't be bothered. Living in a cess pool of denial and self deprecation, who needs that?

So I am moving on. I see it. You don't realize that you have become what it is you hate in others. You missed the point of your own fucked up way of thinking and living. Instead you kill yourself daily, with that liquid disease. I would feel sorry for you, but I can not.

It's funny how even the happiest person can be drowned out by misery if you stick around it long enough. So this is where I exit. I tried. To get rid of you is no real loss to me, biology has us linked forever, but only half way. I wish so much more for you in your life. I hope you find your way and along the way, you become a better person. I let you go before, and my kind heart found you and let you in again. Those were the most peaceful moments in my life, so I am going back to that.

I have always known that I can do more for people, then they can do for me, and I accept that fate. I am a dynamic person so I give off energy that people are curious about. I do not have a point to prove, my spirit says enough. I observe and I understand that even the most educated can be the most ignorant people,it's almost appauling. But it just confirms what I believe, education cannot change what you are, and it barely gives you the right to say what it is you think you know.

Good Bye, I wish you all of the best life has to offer. I have very broad wings to spread and everyone's waiting.

Different Than You

All my life I've had significant experiences that help me become the woman I am and the woman I will be. Life to me is filled with lessons that either we learn from or continue to repeat. Some of us learn quick, others do not learn at all.

I have also been one that believes in the freedom that truth allows, so I try to live my life in the light. I acknowledge my imperfections, nurture them and accept them as a part of me. Never will I confess perfection or claim that I know it all, I will leave that to the idiots. I will say I talk what I know, my experience allows me to. And anything I say I can definitely back it up. I try to steer clear of people who talk too much about nothing or say demeaning things on behalf of ignorance, I know I am not like them the minute I walk into the room. I will never be like them, because I am different.

I choose freedom, instead of a closed mind.
I choose truth, instead of denial.
I choose to live, instead of just existing.
I choose to excel, instead of just get by.
I choose to love, instead of hate

What's in me God made.

What Are U Made of?

Some people are made out of sand.
Some people are made out of clay.
Some people are made out of dirt.
While others may be made out of shit.

Some people are made out of rock.
Some people are made out of stone.
Some people are made out of bone.
While others are made out of gold.

Some people are made out of water.
Some people are made out of flesh.
Some people are made out of heart.
While others are made out of just things.

Since there are so many ways you could have been made
Your fate is determined by what ground you've laid.
Whether strong or weak, hard or soft whatever it is you may be
Is the mirror a true reflection of what you see?

So I ask, what are U made of?

The Cut Off.....

Yeah, so ummmmmm there is nothing more bothersome to me than a man having heavy equipment and not knowing how to work it. Damn! What a waste!

I have been seeing this guy on and off for about a year. Nothing special really,nice to hang out with, but a little too bitchy and boyish for me,so I can only tolerate him in small doses. Now, after this last little rapture, I've decided to completely cut him off, he is just as lame as the guy that introduced us. He is a good father and I wish him the best...toodles..again.

Moving forward and looking forward to the August festivities. It will be my first time going to an award show and participating in a fund raiser that is actually for a good cause. It will also be the month that my book is officially on the market. The last quarter of the year should be great and filled with all that God promised.

I hope everyone is having a great summer, I am so far!

Please Don't Date Me-100 Reason's Why

OMGoodness!

This is one of those nights that I sat back and reflected on my accomplishments so far. It is also one of those nights when I can not sleep because my brain is in overload and I am imagining all the things that are in the process of coming into fruition.

One....my book will be published this month!!!! Please Don't Date Me. I am more than thrilled and I am working on volume II and my third book. That is my first love, writing.

Two...I will be moving. I thought about several places to move,thought of even going back to the ATL, but God said stay posted for a while longer. My daughter is still in school and the move would probably be traumatic for her. I get to shop for all new furniture and stuff. Yippee!!

Three...Where the hell is my husband!! LOL!! I gotta laugh at myself on that one. I know God is preparing me and him, because I know I am a piece of work!

Peace & Love Ya'll Gotta Get Some Sleep!

Black and Unfamous....

Wow, there's a new group of people that have surfaced in my neighborhood. They are called the "Elite". You know the well established black people with somewhat deep pockets. I say somewhat because, I am really not sure how deep. Don't really care.But to give you an idea I must say they consist of mostly married women, with wealthy husbands. Some may cheat others may not (and I am talkin' about the woman since I see them out the most). I have seen their husbands out on other occasions, but did not know that they were the husbands that belong to these particular type of women, that in itself is another story. (hehe) Gosh they dog their husbands so bad, I am almost sure that they (meaning the husbands) are cheating as well. I think some think that is a perk of being somewhat wealthy. When they are in the presence of each other, the front is on thick. They act as if they are the perfect wives,others just don't bring their husbands at all, I guess no time for putting on that front.

Anywho.

They sit out at local bar's get incredibly drunk. I mean wasted and go home. This is not a weekend thing. It usually takes place any time during the week. I happen to fall into a place on a early week day and there they were in full effect. The conversation was bleak,it got a little more interesting when the alcohol took effect. The husbands began to ask questions and as you may know I do not like married men asking me anything, so I have a fake name and fake information. You will never walk into a bar alone acting like you know me. Never. The woman just watched from afar, checking to see what type of woman I am. Watching to see if I was going to do some shit on the under. Well, ladies, I would not want your man even if he were single. I keep it real simple. His money will not ever entice me. You will never leave because the money is just too good and he will never leave because it would cost too much money, so the cycle continues. One lady was waiting on her man hand and foot, maybe because they were the only couple that was not married and she looked a little insecure. She was the very accommodating type. The type that would be mad at the woman instead of her man for cheating. Ok,good for you.

I am sure there are circles of people that get together and shoot the breeze in a natural way on all levels of life. The kind that it does not matter that your income is or your tax bracket, they are just good people. The demise of the institution of marriage is on the rise and it is because of the people that do it for the wrong reasons. Get it together, make love and mean it. Life is really good, Do you really have to live in a fake existence pretending that it is all good in your hood? Now if they really wanted to step their game up,I would take them to hang out with my friends from the other side of life. The Self-made Millionaires Club, gotta love a man who goes out and get's it and chick's too!

No one is quite ready.

Happy Father's Day?

I often hope that those who are father's are doing the best job that they can. But more often than not, I have ran across father's who have either been absent or have ruined their children. This is not to say that mother's cannot ruin their children, it does happen, but for whatever reason there are more absent father's than mother's.

My father has been absent from my life, all my life. I do not know the full story of my existence. My mother has choose not to tell me, but cover the real story with lies's and that is her way of either protecting me, or concealing her shame, I don't know. She was young. Being a mother at 16,I can not imagine. But her decision has affected my decisions regarding men all my life. I often believe that there is something lost, an wound open and never closed when there is a missing parent. The interesting thing about all of this is, maybe because I have never had my father, my daughter's father's are not in their live's either. One because of death, so there was no choice in the matter, the other because he simply chooses to not be a father. Maybe he has no idea of what that means either. Which brings me to what we attract. I knew this man would not be a father, yet I still had my child. I was almost ok with him not being there,simply because I was so familiar with not having a father myself and I seemed to have turned out o.k. I knew how to raise my daughter in a way that she would be strong, loving and independent. Yet, I believe that she still needs to have her father. I long to know who my father is, is he still alive? Does he want to know me? There are so many secrets held in the southern states of America, that there is a real possibility that I may never know. There is a man who my mother says is my father, but neither one of us believes that we are related. There is no connection,it's like not having a father at all.

Although I look like my mother, there are things my mother have been that I could never be. I have had two step-father's and I did not get along with neither of them. I have been given the gift of seeing people for who they are and I can not pretend that you are not what you are,even if you are pretending to be something else. I choose to not fake anything in my life, because I live in the truth. My mother married for her to have a husband,not for her children to have a father.

So,where am I going with all of this? Father's love your daughter's,and raise your son's. Stop the destructive cycle of not being in the life of our children; please start taking care of what we brought into the world. We need you in a positive way.

I know not having my father has affected my relationships. Maybe I would have made better choices, been a little more patient. I thank God for those who have been a father figure in my life. The cause has not been completely lost. God always takes care of his children. Although my mother married twice, I still had no idea of what a man looked like. A man that would take care of his family, honor his wife/girlfriend/mother of his children, love and not destroy his children. I know it exist and I will have it in my life as an example to my daughter's.

My journey has lead me to this moment. Thankful that I am not a bitter woman because of what I didn't have. Thankful to be able to recognize what is good and true because of what's in my heart. I choose to create a better life for my myself and my daughter's. A true child of God and I walk in his light for he is the only father that I know. Thankful that although I am strong, God will not give me a son until I marry his father.

Happy Father's Day.....OneLove

Single Life.....

Wow....ok it's the Summer and I am looking to be gettin' out a little bit more and meet some new and interesting people. I am pretty much over the Winter group,lame and more lame. What's up with men lately, so scarred, so damaged, so gay.

I must admit, I am tired of being single,well not tired but just a little too comfortable. Anyone who says they are happy single are just comfortable being single,or are just completely lying. I am finding that I am not completely happy with it because I've gotten so comfortable. No man is meant to be alone. So I heard. I have enjoyed it to the fullest, I 've made some real interesting friends,but I am finding it more and more easier to have sex with someone than establish good meaningful relationships,or is that how you establish a meaningful relationship? Well,for me sex quick establishes a good sexual relationship, that is if the sex is good and worth coming back for.

The few times I have fallen for someone, it has been quick; quick in the sense that twice it lead to a proposal within 6 months, both times. It was good ,it was live and it was love. But now I am trying to do things differently,not that the other method was not good, well,it didn't lead to marriage because it did happen too quick for me. I got scared. These days I want more. Not only great sex, communication and laughter,but a spiritual connection with love and understanding, All that other shit can be worked out, right? I communicate what I want upfront, can we be friends first. Sex sometimes distorts the decision-making process, you can actually end up in a long term relationship based on make-up sex. That's why it should wait and if you can not wait,then be prepared for the consequences.

As I live this life, I look forward to what the Summer brings and I am hoping for at least three good options,hopefully one I can spend the winter with...:)

Keep At It!

Blah....oh yeah...

I started writing and realized that tonight I do not really feel like. I am in a funky little mood and I want to be alone with my thoughts.

Well, I will mention that I was part of a "girl talk" session today. We talked about men (love them, need them, want more of him),relationships (when to leave, when to stay, infidelity and dating after being married), Will & Jada ( open marriage, gay or straight?). The penis (big or small everything can be worked out, but prefer it big...lol). Dating a younger man. Since dating younger only really benefits the older man, what does a woman do? Since I attract a number of younger men, I believe that it all depends on his maturity level. I do not want to babysit a man. The last one that rolled up was 24 years old. I just looked at him like, just what are you doing? Really?

The overall message was to love yourself, embrace who you are. It is not until you find out who you are and what you are worth, will you attract what you need in your life.

Ok back to my thoughts, Keep it Special...

Religious, Faith, Spiritual..Which are you?

The later part of my teenage years, I grew up in a religious household. I had a step-father who was a Minister, I sang in the church choir and I participated in every annual church function there was. I was in church on an average of 3 times a week. Though I loved the church, I disliked always having to go. It made me curious about other religions and helped shaped he view that I have about religion today.

There are Christian's that I know who attend church regularly. I am not sure what purpose it serves for them because during the week they are either alcoholics or adultery's, and can be both on any given day. There are the Catholics, who are allowed to be alcoholics as long as you acknowledge that you are and are willing to work on the problem with two hail mary's and a confession. Because you are to refrain from sex and marriage in order to remain pure, please ignore the fact that you can be a gay priest and possibly have ruined more young men's lives then they care to even admit. There are the Muslim's who what they think about their women is in question. I do believe that a woman has her place in regards to a man. I believe the man is the head, and should be allowed to play his part, however, when you totally disregard my existence as a woman, it bothers me. There are many other religions that have their perfections along with imperfections, that is the cost of anything man made. Then comes the people who know there is a God, believes there is a higher power. They pray, meditate and serve other's. They know they are not perfect people, cares deeply for human kind and make a conscious effort to treat everyone with respect, do what is right, forgives and ask for forgiveness when a wrong has been done; that is where I live, that is my existence.

I believe that "God" looks at your heart. No man on earth can tell you what he is thinking. How do you tell the man who is "all knowing" anything. How do you fool him to believe that you won't do that anymore, or that this is your last drink, when he already knows it is not? How do you do anything malicious, wish bad luck on someone and asks for forgiveness when "he" already knows you are not sincere. I mean here is a being that knows your thoughts before you even think them. A lot of people do not know the full power of his existence; too busy believing their own foolishness. The universe speaks volumes on the kind of life you are living, by what happens and how you respond. What kind of life are you living? Are you always having bad luck? Or do things often go your way? Can you truly say that at this point in your life you are happy with the results? The good and the bad. There is no hiding or fooling what is higher in mind, body and soul than you are. How do you compete? It would be a foolish thought to think that you could fool the creator, the one that is responsible for your existence.

My advice in the world of religion is to simply keep it real. The main theme's of most religions is to have faith, do good to others,be honest with yourself, do good not bad. Along with that I would say, do what is right. Have a clear heart and mind. Spread love. Try to live in an existence where all is perfect and complete. Though it may never be reached the good energy that you give just trying to create it will come back in gifts, in many forms and in many places. Nothing happens by accident, everything has a purpose, what's yours?


One Love

Do You Know Me?

I am often amazed at what people think of me. Although at the end of the day I could care less, it's just always interesting how people see me. Let's see, I've heard that I am a flasher, only when you fuck with my kids, money or man, who wouldn't be. I am a bitch, only when you fuck with my kids, money or man. I really don't see what the problem is. The other shit is not worth mentioning, mainly because I cannot remember what it is they said. It is somewhat mind-boddling to find out that the people you think should know you, do not know you at all. They have some preconceived idea about who they think you are without even really taking the time to really know.

See, I know my people. I know how they think, I know how they will react, I know how they move. I know this because throughout history they have never changed. Have you even thought you knew someone and then they do something so far to the left that you cannot believe it? You realize that what you thought you knew may not be true. Or maybe it is true and you just never took the time to accept what is the truth. Maybe they deceived you into believing that they are the person that you wanted to see.  Or even now that you know the truth, you still choose not to see. It can get complicated, but one thing that's always rings true, is a person always reveals itself, even without the permission of the mind. The human mind can play tricks and even be deceptive to the eye and heart. Even when I have thought they were  the better person, they prove to me again that they are not. Maybe I just wanted them to be. Which is another form of deception we create on our own. Believing that a person is one way because that's how we want to see them as oppose to seeing them for who they truly are.

So what do you do? Accept the fact that people change, sometimes on short notice. Accept that even though you may get to a point that you are comfortable knowing this person, there still may be things that you do not know, so don't be surprised. Love them anyway.
Just relax, the human mind and body is in a constant form of evolution. You may not even be the same person you were yesterday,  but the mirror says you are.

Peace & Love

I love the fact that all the Laker Hater's are cheering for Oklahoma City tonite! Although highly unlikely, I hope they send the Laker's home so Kobe can come to my house and I can fry him some chicken and french fries with a salad with Thousand Island on it. And if he likes Kool-Aid, although I haven't had that in years, I would make him some. Anything for you Kobe, you're my one man team! .....LMAO! I LOVE THE PLAYOFFS!!! Shout out to Kevin Garnett, damn what happened man? You gotta turn that flash mode off! You're only sexy when the sweat is glistening all over yo'boodddyy!..LMAO!!!!

Anyways, getting closer to getting my little book published about dating and relationships. I am so excited! I am trying to use all my connections so that this won't cost me so much, cause you know it's about who you know as oppose to what you know. Nobody really cares about what you know. I mean, who is going to stand around and listen? I found my original book, which was major. I had to make up an additional 10 pages, but when I found the original, I was elated. Stay tuned for "Please Don't Date Me-100 Reasons Why". It's my first, but it won't be my last.

Ummm what else....found that guy that I liked from four months ago. He's incredible yummy. He (*&%$##@@) me and I like it. Friends for now, maybe something special later. Only the star's know. I love my life.

Keep it lovely

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OMG! "The Bi's and The Married's"

Ok I have been on a serious vacation. I mean after my vacation I had to take a vacation to catch up on the sleep that was lost during my original vacation and my goodness, I am finally getting back on track. On my massive road trip there were several topics that came up and I have to express my opinion and the opinion of others. The names will be left out to protect the guilty. (lol)

1st Topic....Brother's who are gay but still like women. I call them bi-sexual, other's call them greedy. I say whatever to each it's own, just don't bring your desire to have men my way. I am sure that I have dated a few men who are on the borderline. They are usually attracted to beautiful women or trashy slummers ( whores/prostitutes, ya know the difference between the paid and the unpaid), either way they seem to date an extension of themselves or what they would like to be or the complete opposite, an insecure large woman. I guess I could respect men that go both ways if they are just honest with themselves and others. You would be amazed how far you will get with the truth. But when you marry, have children and hurt the woman who thought she had a King, when in fact she had a gladiator with a vagina is a bit too much. Enough said.

2nd Topic....Bi-sexual women. Ummmmm they are loved by everyone, the most open about their being unless they have not come to terms with it. They could rule the world, if emotionally they did not feel they had to choose. Many do choose to be with men, those that choose to be with a woman are considered a lesbian. I have been approached by women, a little uncomfortable at first because of the aggressiveness, however, I have learned to appreciate the flattery. No, I am not going to tell you the story about the lesbian who turned me out, or how she ate my jazzy so good that I had to have her and now have a whole new appreciation for lesbians. I am not going to tell you that story because it never happened.

3rd Topic.....Married men, why are they so available? I am confused. I am not sure if it is the economy or what, but I ran into more married men that were on vacation without the wifey than I care to mention. Those that just wanted to get their swag on or see if they still "had it". Had what? You had it when you married your wife, now whatever it is you think you had you need to be giving it to her on a regular basis. Maybe it's my look that gives these married men the confidence to approach, but then again, marriage may breed confidence, there is nothing to lose when you have a wife at home. Although entertaining, married men who try to hit on women are a complete turn-off. I get the flirting and stuff, but exchanging phone numbers, getting all close invading my space will get you chin checked! Married men are like the plague to me, stay away! I wonder what their wives are doing....lol

There were a few other topics that came to life, but maybe at another blog session.

Peace & Love Ya'll....Muuuaahhhhh

Inter "Dating" Racial

I really hesitated on writing about inter-racial (And I put that dash there on purpose) dating. Ya'now the black man dating the white woman. It seems to be a problem for some black women. I understand the beef if you are a black woman who is experiencing a drought in the black man dating pool, but if you are a black womnan who is dating enjoying the selection that life has to offer, then you are not affected at all.

Please do not misunderstand me, I know that there are some who want to keep the culture pure and I understand that, but is anyone really pure? I believe love comes in all shapes, sizes and colors. If a black man chooses a white woman that does not bother me at all. That's just one man who knows what he wants and it is not the "Queen of the Earth"...I get that, but I just gotta' laugh. But, I am not mad at all.

I have been pursued by a lot of different races of men. I enjoy being desired by many cultures, that means there is universal love of what "attraction and beauty" is when it comes to the black woman. So when the black man is choosing a white woman, it moves me none. Good Luck, More better to ya", you like it, I love it, you get my drift (my drift, lol, that's old school...lol.) I want people to be happy, to give genuine love and receive it in return. So black man when I walk by and you're with your white woman, hold your head up high, hold her hand, proclaim your love, I am going to love you regardless, so be proud. I am waiting on my Justin Timberlake right now! j/k

As the earth spins and I am on my eternal search for my true King, I will continue to hold my head high and wait on the King. Continue to be the Queen I am and to respect, love and admire what I know to truly indeed be "the man".

One Love Ya'll

Super Powers...My need to Save the World.....

Sometimes I wish I had super powers. Not just one power, but many. I would do so much for so many people, and myself included. I would give myself this incredible body and shape, oh wait, I already have that!...lol 

Seriously, I would save the world from all the fighting that's going on. I would rescue and put an end to all child prostitution in this country and abroad. I would give every child a chance to be whatever it is they want to be.  I would restore families that are broken.   I would rescue Haiti and give them control of how their country is ran, for some reason I feel that there are a lot more effort involved in keeping this country a poor country.  I would bring home the soilders that have been away from their families for way too long. I would empower the people that really deserve to lead other's instead of the R & B, Rap and Rock artisits that we so heavily glorify. I would hold athletes accountable for their actions, and father's accountable for their children.

There are a million other things I would do with my powers, fight crime on all levels, I would bring Michael back and tell him that I love him, I don't think he heard that enough, from the people that really mattered.. I would have lunch with Ellen and Oprah, just because, sit with Sade and ask her, "How does it feel to be back"? I would give everyone not just a job, but a career, something that they would love. Give everyone back the house, car, family they lost due to the greed of those who still have all their assets. I want to thank the writer's and animator's at Pixar for making my life easier, not everyone can appreciate the messages in your art.

I know that's a bit much and now that I think about it we all have the power to change all things.  I have the power to make a change in somebody, even if its just one person a day. This world seems like it's losing it's morals, getting swallowed up by sex and spit out by injustice. We need to hurry back to being humans, and remember why we are here in the first place.   We need to learn again how to care and take care of each other.

I am working on being super.....Signing Off Super Woman!

Love is in the Air....

Love is every where. Whether it is a love of a person or thing. It exists, it is a living thing. It is the most wanted emotion there is around. Everyone longs to feel love, long to belong and be needed or wanted. But if I have said it once, I have said it a thousand times, no one and I mean no one can love you until you love yourself. When you love yourself, you are living in the truth. The truth of your ugliness and the truth of your beauty. Love accepts it all and you must too.

The spring time is approaching and it is one of my favorite seasons. It is a season that brings fresh new beginings. It removes the old and brings in the new and I love it. It's almost like the new year, that is what the change of seasons are to me, a chance to bring about something new and different. To begin again.

WTF?

I mean really? Are u serious? Can u please stop? No, really stop! You are looking pretty damn ridiculous! You are no longer attractive, that was just too sick. I think 24 sessions of therapy are in order......lol!!

Renamed: Mama's Boy...and then some

There comes a time in your life when you think that you have seen and heard and seen everything and then something else comes along that just is mind boddling.

I was seeing this dude from a familiar territory. The familiarity is what made me feel comfortable with this man. He was not what I would be normally attracted to. But he had a nice personality and we had a few things in common.

A few months into the relationship and then the true colors start to show. I usually can spot a dude when he is not on the up and up, but my guards were down because we come from the same place, big mistake. I ignored the signs that coming from anyone else I would have booked going 90. Everything was small, no get back and not driving in the same lane as me. So there had to be conflicts. But the ringer was when he told me that I could not come over because his mother was spending the night. Then it hit me and it hit me hard. This man had expressed to me earlier that he was a mama's boy and that to me sometimes is all good, that is if the mother has a man in her life. When they do not, they can either fuck up the son emotionally or just let him be a man. NOTE: A woman can never raise a man, he has to get that or find that from somewhere else. This man had an unusual relationship with his mother. They argued like husband and wife. If I cooked, then she cooked, if I brought things over, then she would get something for him as well. I would have rather been in competition with another woman, but his mother? There is no winning that battle and me considering all the other shit that I had let pass, he was definitely not worth the battle. So I let that go. Hind sight is 20/20 there were things that were said that I just did not pay attention to. Like how his mother cursed out his baby mama, how she would not mind him calling one of his chicks a bitch or whatever. Mom was just a bit too wifey for me. That made him look real spineless and I don't do spineless.

When I departed I told him how I felt and that he would never have a woman in his life with the way their relationship is, NEVER! And I am sure that is fine with him. The overall potential for a woman cheating on him is very high, considering he is not the lover type, he prefers blow jobs over sex, and I am sure you can figure out why. There were a lot of insecurity issues that in the long run, I would have been playing myself short in a major way. So back to what I know. What I know is good and true.

THE LESSON: Not everyone deserves a shot at the title, no matter what the connection. Men who know how to be men need only apply, and please leave your mother at home.

So to that man that had me for a minute, Good Luck on life.

Back on Track

Sometimes on the journey through life, we fall off the road we have in mind for ourselves. Sometimes there are things and people that do not help us get to where we are going, but they are placed in our lives as either a distraction, a reminder or just something to get us back to where we were going in the first place.

I am a known procrastinator and I have a very short attention span. I am not sure why, I guess I need constant stimulation either mentally or physically. I need the energy in my brain to always be challenged to do better, to do more and to keep trying. Every now and then I need a push in the right direction. A push to remind me who I am and what I am here for. I often give people a standin my life who surely donot deserve to be there, thats the kindness in me. I am learning to be more selective in my selection. There is nothing wrong with choosing. We make decisions everyday, but how many are conscious decisions that we think about before making the final decision. Not many.

Today, as the 1st of February approaches us I am going to pay more attention to the decisions I make. Pay more attention to the people I let in my life and let it be ok for me to be just me. I enjoy the company of people from different walks of life. I am able to converse with the most elegant and get down with the dirty, but my true life path longs to be with those who share a common love of life, love and giving. People who know the true meaning of life and those who try to bring meaning to their lives. No bitterness, no hatred, no sadness. Just spread love. Be what you need in your life to someone.

{{Peace Ya'll}}

I've been Away.....

OMG! I have been away neglecting doing the thing that I love the most, writing! Maybe I am distracted by life or maybe even love, whatever it is I need to get it together.

It's funny how you canplan howyouwant your life to be and nothing comes out the way youplan, but things do happen in another way that works our even better. That is what my life is right now. It is filled with a load of surprises, unexpected moments that really make life worth living. Me being somewhat of a planner and super organized person had to make the adjustment to the unexpected and boy has it been great. The element of surprise is always bitter-sweet. I am open.