Your Inner Child

A lot of us need mothers and a lot of us need fathers.  When we are children if the emotional aspect of ourselves is not met and we become adults we will seek that emotional fulfillment in our relationships. We will look for acceptance, we will look for that validation, we will look for that nourishment and love. And when they can't find it, or when they don't recognize it, we will destroy whoever is trying to give it to them.  It's almost like, they need you to hate them as much as they hate themselves.  

When the inner child is not healed you run into all kinds of problems as an adult.   Along with sabotaging your relationships, you blame and remain an eternal victim of circumstance.  You can only grow and be fruitful when you are accountable when you are able to look at yourself and accept your true nature.  You can't blame momma and daddy forever.   There are those who refuse to heal because of the attention that it garners for being an eternal victim.  That attention fulfills a level of satisfaction, and it allows them to point the finger at someone else.  Being in a relationship with a person with an unhealed inner child is like being in a relationship with a child.  There is a lack of communication, mind games are played and instead of addressing their feelings, they do things behind your back to interfere with your progress or create situations where you need them.  

I remember when I was dating a guy who I had over for breakfast. It was his first time that he was having breakfast with my children and I had made pancakes and sausage, typical breakfast stuff.   I cut up my daughter's pancakes because she was five years old at the time. The guy I was dating asked me why didn't I cut up his pancakes? At first, I thought he was just being funny, but he wasn't and I asked him if he wanted me to call his momma to come cut up his pancakes because I was not going to be cutting up pancakes for a grown-ass man.  Throughout the relationship, I realized he was just grown physically.  There was a child in him waiting to be paid attention to and acknowledged.  Of course, I did not know that at the time, but yes, that was his inner child speaking.  

The journey to self can seem long and tempestuous and there are no shortcuts.   You have to learn to address ourselves before we address other people.  The path you are on is yours alone, so find the strength to accept your place in the world.  You don't have to be like anyone else, but yourself.  You don't have to compare yourself to anyone because there is no one like you.  Sometimes we have to become the parents that we needed and love ourselves unconditionally, with no judgment.  Pursue those things that bring you the most joy.  Play and be a joyous, fearless child, the world is yours.

Peace Within

Lavidus

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Your New Suit

 

Do you really know the people you think you know?  Has anyone in your life changed so drastically that they are unrecognizable? Have you changed?  Do you have the same people in your life for the last twenty years? Do you still trust them?  Do they trust you?  Every day, everything around you changes.  The seasons change, the trees change, and the animals in their natural habitat change.  Are you changing?  Have your mind and emotions caught up to your natural age, or are you still stuck in 1996?

One of the problems with having long-term friendships and long-term relationships is the rate at which someone changes.  You can never determine when those changes will take place, they just do.  Events, circumstances, and the desire to change are some of the things that can ignite that pivotal moment at any moment.  Either those changes extend the relationship or situation or it ends it completely.  There are no wrong answers, just paths to choose. Paths that lead to a better you.  There are some people who will never change and that is their choice.  You have to be brave.  You have to love and accept what you see in the mirror and a lot of people are not ready for that.  Never looking up, never looking down, they are just following the yellow brick road.   When you do change, when you do let go and allow, the need to resist or figure it all out goes away.  The come-up is no longer appealing.

I have changed a lot.   I had to remove and be willing to let go of all the relationships that served no real good purpose in my life. I had to remove titles and judge people by their actions.  I had to take a good look at the part I was playing in my own demise and remove myself and gravitate to those who match my vibe and speak my language.   Some would like you to believe that you are not who you say you are, or that you are naive, or that you are not worthy of anything but what they provide.  Well, those who have been through the fire and are still here, know that that is not true.  If anything you learned how to enjoy your own company.  You learned to study yourself and master yourself and see through people.  When you master yourself, you get to see the old self in those old people.  You get to see why they were in your life and why they come back. How many of you have run across an old X or someone from your past and thought, how the hell was this person ever in my life? I actually had sex with that?  You get to see why those people are in your past and why they must remain there.

When you upgrade your mind and your vision of the world and the people in it changes, you can no longer entertain what was.  If they are not growing with you, I guarantee they are growing against you.  You can only wish them well on their journey and thank them for the experience.   You can't put on a new suit and go sit in the gutter.  You can either go back to who you used to be and keep on that gutter suit or you can keep your new suit clean and be around other people who are wearing new suits and who can appreciate your new suit glow.  They know what it took to get there, and they can applaud you and your new suit because they earned one too.

Peace Within

Lavidus

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"Capricorn Season"

There was a time when everything seemed so simple

The lines were real fine, blind, with no wrinkles

 

All eyes on me, but you still can't see your image

Prayer, spells, and wishing you well will not repair the damage

You took a chance on a zero cause

Sealed your fate, put you on a permanent pause

All because your ego had you in a Kung-Fu grip

Couldn't see past your own thoughts

You let the wrong words pass your lips

Now what the Moon concealed the Sun will shine bright

All things done in the dark will finally see the light.

Enjoy the Season!  Thank you all for your continuous love and support!💖💖💋

Lavidus

I will be celebrating my birthday starting right now!  I have so much to be thankful for and much more to celebrate.  "Do not let the world choose who you are or who you become." LLW😍😍😃😁

If you are feeling generous this season, hit the donate button on your right or send me a gift.  I am sending you back all the love you can handle. 💓💓

Are You A Compliment or Insult?

 Does the person in your life compliment you?  Are they a true representation of who you are and what you love for?   One person may look at your relationship and not understand the connection, but see the love. Another may not see the love, but understand why you are together.  I believe when it comes to choosing partners, lovers, wives, etc. you should be able to compliment each other, not just physically, but spiritually as well.   Whomever you decide to lock it down with, that person represents a part of you.  Look at the person you love, the person you are married to, or the person you are dating.   Yes, that's how you feel inside.  So, are you a compliment or an insult?  

Would you want someone to tell you you're the best, even when you are not?   Or would you want to be accepted and loved just as you are, flaws and all?   When you compliment someone you are also complimenting yourself, you are acknowledging yourself in them. There is no way you can be in a relationship with someone and not see parts of yourself, whether you like those parts or not, that person you have chosen represents a part of who you are.   If someone is acknowledging that you are not the best or the most intelligent, they are also acknowledging that in themselves.   If someone is loving you, accepting you, and giving you all they got, it's because they have that love within themselves to give. You cannot see (yourself) something in someone else and not acknowledge it in yourself.

Make me believe that I am exceptional from the rest, or make me feel special and not just someone you can get because you can not get anyone else.  What people fail to understand is love does not require you to lie to make the other person feel better about themselves.  Love does not require you to validate the unstable actions and mental state of someone who is truly incapable of maintaining a healthy relationship, because now you're married.  One of the sweetest things about love is you do not have to be too much of anything to receive it.   You do not have to be the best at anything.  You don't have to be perfect.  You just have to be able to share and reciprocate and be the yang to my yin.

Are you brave enough to love who you love?   Does the man or woman in your life compliment you?  People often say that life is short and time waits on no one, but there are millions of people living in relationships that they regret, being misrepresented by the person they love.  They won't even walk down the street and hold your hand, because they have made up their mind that you do not represent them.   Make sure you are with someone who truly represents who you are and who can love all sides of you. You do not want someone who will just compliment you behind closed doors.

Peace & Love

Lavidus

Please Don't Date Me-100 More Reasons Why (AudioBook)