"Relationships"

Does your relationship suck? Are you happy?  Are you satisfied or are you just going through the motions?   What kind of relationship are you in right now? Here we are, we have chosen to co-exist in his conflict of personalities, although we have the approval of our friends and society, we are miserable. Or here we are and we have made it so far, there is no one I'd rather be with than you. What is your reality?

There are several different types of relationships, some work and some do not.  Most relationships are based on the agreement of two people to be faithful,  to just have sex with each other, and to hold hands in public.  Others are more conspicuous, they never show public affection, and are insanely jealous but are in an open relationship.  Whatever works, right?  Who defines your relationship? Is it better to hold on to comfort because it's familiar or is it too costly to take a risk on what you really want?

Relationships fall into one of three categories, or maybe all three.  If there are other categories, please chime in, I would love to know your status.  

1. We have been together so long that we are no longer lovers, just friends.  The love is there, but not really.  At this point, it will be too hard to start over and no one puts up with my shit better than you. Although the kids are grown and we are still together this relationship has been over for a very long time and I am just waiting on you to get hit by a bus, Love you.

2.  I love you, but my feelings have changed. I would tell you but the divorce will be too costly and the image we have created together will crumble.  So we will continue to pretend as if we are happy, just like our friends. How embarrassing it would be for our marriage to not last longer than theirs?  I will just have a small affair every now and again and pretend I don't know about your shenanigans and we'll come together on special occasions, and holidays, ok? 

3. It's always new.  You look at each other and you are able to bring out that same fire from day one.  You have had your bad days and you have had your good days, but you have always had each other, so the storms have never been lonely.  People can feel the love between the two of you and it makes them happy.   You give, you serve and you love each other and it shows.

Relationships are always what you make them.  You choose the person, and the time you spend.  Love is whatever you say it is, that definition is up to you.   Relationships help to define us, change us, and to make us better.  Hopefully, you are in a relationship that brings out the best in you even when you are not feeling your best.  Hopefully, you are in a relationship that makes you feel like the greatest, even when you do feel great.  If you are not in a fulfilling relationship, hopefully, you have the courage to change it.  Be with someone who you can completely be naked with, with your clothes on.  Find that love, be that love and you cannot go wrong.

Peace & Love

Teena Marie- Square Biz  💚💚💋Happy Friday!!

Lavidus

Open Mind

Do you have an open mind?  Do you see things clearly or as you want them to be?  Can you accept opinions and beliefs that differ from yours without any judgment?    Do we all need to be doing and saying the same things in order to make progress?   I value your difference.  I don't need you to always understand where I am coming from, just respect the difference.   I enjoy hearing opinions that are different from mine because it offers the opportunity to learn something new.  I hold no preconceived notions other than the character that an individual may present to me.  How open are you to accepting the things that you do not understand?

It is natural for us to judge. Our mind requires us to come to some conclusions about how we engage and it helps us to create our perception of who we are engaging with.  How willing are you to put all your restraining beliefs behind you and accept the difference of the person you are judging.  Are you open enough to allow a person to introduce themselves before you cast them in a category based on your experience?

Having an open mind means you are willing to consider other perspectives or at least try new experiences.   An open mind can be the introduction to a whole new world.   A person who does not know how far they can go because they limit themselves will not expect you to go any further than what they can conceive.  Our limitations are not always intentional. Some are programmed, others are chosen and some are not even aware of their limits or can understand how a person can be limitless.

We are all subject to our beginnings. Within that beginning are conditions and those conditions help develop who we are, what we believe, and how we think. It has been made impossible for us to all be the exact same. You can have six siblings who grew up in the same household, and each one will have a different perception of what that experience was.  We are all in the same household sharing a different experience and somewhere in all of who you are, in who we are, lies the gift.  That gift is recognizing who you are and what you bring to the world. You are important, you are important and you are very important.   People have a tendency to believe that importance and monetary value are the same and it is not.  There are people with a lot less who are more willing to give you the shirt off their backs and give you some of what they have because no matter what their experience has been, they are not so out of touch with the human experience and are still able to give.

When you do not have an open mind and are not open to new experiences you are choosing to practice a form of ignorance.   Imagine judging someone who has experienced life differently than you. A person who has gained and experienced life through their own personal lens and you judge them and call them ignorant because you do not understand.  How would you feel to be judged by what you don’t know, instead of who you really are?  Everyone will not wake up, and that is part of their purpose.

 

Life is pretty simple.  We all want to be loved, accepted, and respected.  For a moment forget about race, forget about time, forget about all the injustices of the world and just love someone today. Forgive someone today. Be sweet and kind because it's free.  We are all experiencing this battle for our souls. This urgent buildup of something new, this breakthrough, this new way of existing, and believe me, it's here.    Open your mind and visualize what you want to see in the world and be just that.  

Chaka Khan-Angel

Peace & Love

Lavidus

When It's Good to You, But Not Good for You

Greetings Beautiful People....💋💜💛💚

Owwww have you ever had something that was so good to you but not good for you?  Why is it that the hardest people and things to let go of are the things that provide us with the greatest high, but just simply is not good?  Things that we have to sneak to get it or that are tempting just feel better when we get them, right?  Whether it's people, places, or things,  re we really addicted, is that forbidden fruit that appealing? Or is it just something that we need to experience in order to get to where we need to be?

I used to love this man.  At least I thought I loved him,  I loved what he did with his magic wand.  I loved how he could maneuver around my body.  I loved how he could conquer and revive, ya know what I mean?  Had me completely blind to the facts.  But silly me, those were moments that I thought it was love.  He knew exactly what it really was because that's how he operated.  I thought well damn, it can't be this good with everybody?   Turns out it wasn't but he didn't find that out until he left and tried to come back.  Anyway... It didn't matter how good or bad it was, he was serving it up like hotcakes during Sunday Brunch. He was spreading it around like almond butter with all the nuts.   I could have easily chosen to continue to be blind, but what it was and what it wasn't became even more and more obvious and neither of us could not ignore the facts. .  He belonged over there and I belonged up there. We were on different shelves of life and I didn't have time for him to catch up. And besides, just because he looks the part, does not mean he knows the part.   

One more donut is good to you but may not be good for you.

One more night might be good to you, but may not be good for you.

Telling that lie might sound good to you, but in the long run, may not be good for you.

I know we all have experienced something that was so so bad but felt so so good, temporarily.  But for the love of ourselves, in order to keep our sanity and self-respect, we must let go of those relationships that only provide moments of happiness and years of despair. Let go of that job that seems to just drains you and keeps you from what you really want.  Letting go of that one-sided love, letting go of living an unfulfilled life.  I know that toxic shit can feel so good, temporarily.  But once you fully let go, you'll realize it wasn't the toxic shit that felt good, it was what you imagined it to be, you kept being disappointed by what you hoped it to be.  You created your own disappointment by believing something that you knew wasn't true.   There is strength in our lessons so don't be afraid of making mistakes, it's your chance to change and be honest with who you really are.   Learn to love yourself enough to know when something is good to you, but not good for you. 

Chocolate Love- Sanura & Raheem DeVaughn

Peace & Love

Lavidus

You Need to Heal

This is a very abundant time. Despite all the things that are going on around us.  Despite all the unexpected changes that are taking place, this is a time when your thoughts will determine how far you go.  Your previous actions will determine how abundant this time will be.   It is a time of getting what you deserve.  It does not matter what side of the coin you are on, you definitely will be getting all you deserve.

It's also a time to focus on healing yourself, changing your ways, and making amends.  If you are not able to do that, then you will experience more of the same and it will progressively get worse.  If you are a hurt person,  stop hurting and start healing, because the karma you receive will be a heavy price to pay.  And some of you know damn well you can't take half the shit you dished out.  Focus on yourself.  Focus on ways on how you can improve and the things you need to change in order to flourish and not just exist.  Only you will know how honest you will be with yourself.   Some of you just have fucked up personalities and that's just the way that you are, and you exist in that space, not really knowing anything else.  That is your path and the people who are around you are on that same journey. It is what it is.

 For those people who have been counted out, disrespected, and underestimated, but kept going anyway, you are about to make people eat their words.  Your breakthrough is right now! The people who spoke ill words on your name, laugh at your dreams, they will experience (some may be already experiencing it) a starvation of the soul, one like they have never known. They will experience this for a very long time.  (All you had to do, was do what was right. But your jealousy and envy, became your friend and now that friend has made you the enemy.)  Do not worry about your fans/haters/frenemies, stay committed to your purpose, and play dumb when necessary. (wink, wink)

Control your emotions, control your thoughts.  Do not go so far outside yourself that you lose all control of what you want your world to be.  Remember, this world is still ours.  You have to be sure about yourself, have confidence, and believe in yourself.  This new world requires you to accept and love yourself just as you are.  We don't have to wear masks anymore, so why do you still have yours on?  Heal that inner child, honey, everything is going to be alright.   Once you start to make that shift, a lot has to fall away and when it does, accept it because I guarantee there is something better on the way.  

Peace & Love

Lavidus

Let It Happen

SHAME Love, Lies & Lust by L.L. Walton

                   

  Available on Amazon.com and Kindle Or Click the link to the right to order an autographed copy.                              → →→→→→→→

Today I am reintroducing SHAME Love, Lies & Lust  It is the first book that I wrote with characters.  Each chapter has a section of love stories, lie stores, and lust stories.   It is a short book filled with short stories about the trials, and tribulations of being in love, sacrifice, and the consequences of your decisions.   Thank you all for your love and support.💓

I often reflect on my relationships and the state of mind I was in when I made the decision to allow certain people in my life.  When I reflect it is also a time to acknowledge how much I've grown.  I am thankful for those experiences and how they have helped me grow.  This life is all about the journey.  Wherever you are, wherever you are trying to go, do not underestimate the power of appreciating where you are right now.  Change always comes on time and is constantly happening.  You can try to delay it, you can even ignore it, and it happens whether you are ready for it or not.  Wouldn't it just be easier to accept life as it comes, let go of all control and relax into it?  All you have to do is manage your own thoughts and stay focused on your desired outcome.  Mind the business that feeds you and distractions do not exist. Most of you should know, that writers are excellent liars, give me an audience and I’ll tell you what to feed them. 

I am often disappointed when I believe in the maturity of humanity. You would think that after all this progression, people would be more accepting of people who are opposed to what they are used to, but I always get the same result. However, I am still hopeful that society will get to the point where they do not feel so intimidated by things and people they do not understand.  You cannot pick apart another without picking apart yourself.  I am just a reflection, so you do not have to tell me what you don’t like about yourself, I already see it. 

Do not rush, just let it all happen.  Patience is the key. Time is going as fast or as slow as it is going to go.  You cannot change the happening, just like you cannot change the past.   Too many people let the past control their current state of mind and they are making comparisons to a future that does not exist. What's done is done.  It's either time to ask for forgiveness, or forgive yourself and move on.  There is no growth allowing the past to live in your head like old weeds.  Create the space for new things and for new beginnings to grow.  Be brave and walk alone when necessary.  You can never go wrong with true intentions.  True Intentions. You can never go wrong by moving forward in honesty, your truth  and love. 

Lavidus

Curse Words

 

I thought I would have a little fun and ask how the fuck are you today?

That was an example of using an expletive in a positive manner.  Although most of us do not use expletives in our daily language, using profanity sometimes can be used to release tension, make a point, or to further express how we feel.  Before I go into all of the most used curse words, I want to define what a curse word is.  Curse words are words that can be used when throwing a curse or evil spell and with the right intention, it can affect the person you are cursing on an emotional level, similar to a real curse.  I believe curses only work on people in low emotional states.  For example,  it is easier to curse a person with low self-esteem than it is for a person who loves themselves.  I am sure some of you spellcasters are finding that out.  

The first curse word was Fuck and it was used in the year 1310 by a Monk who wrote it on a manuscript.  The word fuck has a Germanic origin and the original meaning meant "to strike" but as time went on the usage changed.  If you are from the east coast, "Get the fuck outta here" may mean whatever story you are telling, it is so unbelievable you need to leave with that bullshit.  Or it could literally mean get the fuck out of here.  The word fuck is often the obscene word that is used to refer to sexual manners.  You may hear things like, "Can we fuck?"  "Do you want to fuck?" or "I just got fucked".  And depending on which end of the meaning you are on that could be the worse fuck of all.   If someone is talking too much, you may hear someone say "Shut the fuck up", or  "What the fuck are you talking about?  If a person wants to inform you about some shit you may not know about they may say something like,  "I don't fuck with you."   Or if it's a lost cause, fuck it!

The most used curse word is Shit.  Yes, I often use it when I am in a bind,  running out of time, or just referring to a piece of shit.  Although the word literally means to defecate or to have diarrhea, the urban usage of the word shit is often used positively.  You may hear it being used to refer to how you feel about yourself or someone else, " I am the shit" or "they are the shit".  Or if you want to express how you feel about a song that you vibe with, you'll say something like "that's my shit" or "that's the shit.".  When you put someone in their place or embarrass someone with your superior skills, you may have just "Shitted on them."

Last but not least, the most mighty and powerful curse word, Bitch!   Of course, we all know that this word usually is referring to the female gender and can be defined as a female dog.  The word bitch began to be used in the late 1300's and early 1400s.  In the 1930's, it was used in the male homosexual community, as a playful reference to a dog.  Today, it is also used in songs and in regular everyday language. You will often find when a woman rejects a man's offer or does not find him appealing, the first thing he may call her is a bitch.  The term has also been used to refer to the emotional state of a woman.  If she is bossy and in control, then she is a bitch. If she wines and complains, then she is bitchy, you get my point.    In conversation, you may use it as a term of surprise, Biiitch! Or as a warning, "Bitch, if you don't get out my face."  In the early 1960's the term "Bitchin'" would refer to something that is awesome, the best or is unusually unique.  If you are on your shit and you don't give a fuck, then someone may refer to you as  "That Bitch".  All you real Bitches stand up!  You can use the word as empowerment or embarrassment, it is up to you to define what it means to you.

The countries that curse the most are Russia and France, they will curse you out because they don't give a fuck about your feelings. The UK, Australia, and the US are tied in their usage of curse words, and in China, they barely use curse words at all.  If you want to go where they curse the most in America, you can travel to  Ohio,  Maryland, New Jersey, Louisiana, and California. I guess you also know where all the intelligent people are.  If you want to go where it is very nice and polite, you can travel to Washington, Maine, Arizona, and Texas, but who gives a fuck, right?  The curse words that are honorable mentions are motherfucker, got damn, son-of-a-bitch and asshole.

Thank you for joining me today, I am going to go fuck around.  Tune in on Friday, maybe I'll have a freaky tale or something like that.   Be safe, stay loved up, and get out there and make it a great day, it is all yours.

Lavidus

reference(s):  www.etymonline.com

                      www.basicplanet.com

Energy Vampires

Everyone knows that energy vampires are people who are unable to sustain their own energy of life force so they feed off other people who are able to vibrate at a higher energetic level.  We all know that the most popular form of energy that these vampires come in is narcissism.  Social media is over-saturated with talking about the people that carry this energy.  The more you talk about it the more they manifest. So today I am changing the subject and discussing why we invite them into our lives.  We often discuss what to look for and how to get out of a relationship with a narcissist, but I want to discuss how you attract this energy in the first place. 

We all want to be loved,  needed, and taken care of at some point. Even if we are seeing and interacting with someone in the most shallow of situations, human contact is still what keeps the relationship going, no matter how toxic it is.  An energy vampire solicits that emotional need. We learn the most about ourselves through the relationships we have with other people.  We become a different version of ourselves with each person we interact with.   So why has the narcissist chosen you? Or better yet, why did you allow good sex and empty promises cloud your judgment? For me, it was the empty promises followed up by some mind-blowing sex.  It was so good that I forgot about all the promises.  It took me a while to break away from this particular person because I was dickmatized.  I thought I loved him, but I realized this man had no emotional depth, and the only thing I was feeling deeply was that extension he carried so well.  We only had a few moments of happiness and because I was so caught up in looking forward to those moments, I didn't even realize that that was all it was and it was not about getting any better than this. Then that's when you have to make a decision.  You see it for what it is, now what?  You have to start thinking about what you really deserve and when those wheels start turning and that confidence starts to build up and you start to look in the mirror and start falling in love with yourself, then you realize that vampire energy has to go.  That particular energy is no longer fitting the version of yourself that you are becoming.  So Au revoir! Adios! Arrivederci! and Bye-bye! Leave them and it all behind.

Those empty unfulfilling relationships will get easier to recognize and let go.  You will no longer feel the need to argue with a fool because it is all above you now.  You no longer need to justify or validate your decisions, because you trust your intuition.  Those are some of the things you may learn, and since some of you are slow learners, take as long as you need to learn those lessons because they will keep coming.  The universe does not have a shortage of lessons, so learn them because the universe also does not have a shortage of abundance.  

Maybe you need to learn how to love yourself, so life will break your heart a few times before you know your worth. Maybe you need to learn how to put up boundaries, so life will allow you to be used until you protect yourself.   If you are doing, being, or existing anywhere that you do not want to be, the universe will send some tests and situations to see if you really want to change or if you are just playing around with moments of sovereignty.  Will you settle for this?  Or will you settle for that? Are you willing to walk away and heal yourself and prepare yourself for what you truly deserve?  What are you really ready for? Because these energy vampires will test all of that.  

You can not complain about something and still have them in your life while trying to create a blessing with someone else.  It does not work like that.  You can not settle for a life you do not deserve and hate on those who waited and got everything that they deserve.  No, you can't get past true intentions and your thoughts.  So if you find yourself in the presence of those that suck your energy and leave you feeling drained and hopeless, think about the lesson you need to learn and why you continue to allow it to happen.  What part of you needs to heal?  There is something greater waiting for you but first, you will need to prepare yourself.   You know what you need to do, so trust yourself and get it done.

 

That's all I have for today, stay tuned for Friday's Question of the day.  If you have any relationship questions or any subjects you would like me to discuss, please submit them to relationshiptalkpodcast@gmail.com.  Get out there and make it a great day, it is all yours.

Lavidus

Dickmatized

reference:WomanLit

Trust Yourself

Have you ever felt an inkling about something?  Have you ever had a gut feeling?  Have you ever had a thought that came from nowhere and you acted upon it without any logical reason? That is your inner guide.  Some make call it your higher self or intuition. I like to call it your inner-navigation system.  It always tells you what's right and when you ignore it, you get lost. You must develop that amazing extra sense that you have.  One day, it will be all you need.  You can barely trust the things that people are telling you these days.  People will literally look you in the eye and straight-up tell you a lie and feel no qualms about it.  But the one thing that a liar can not do is hide the truth.  

So you might ask, how does one learn to trust their gut?   You learn by trusting it and never doubting it.  You learn by asking questions and when the answer comes, don't be surprised because you already felt it was true.  Sometimes all this amazing navigation system does is confirm what we already know.   You knew she was cheating.  You knew he had a woman.  You know damn well she is not going to take you back.  You knew you didn't deserve her, but you tried anyway. These are the things that you tell yourself because you already know.  Unles, you are allowing fear to dictate your future in a negative way.  That's another episode because you can manifest your fears and that's different than trusting your intuition.

I remember once when I was dating a guy who paid for me to take a flight from California to Atlanta to make up to me for his cheating. Yeah, you know they go all out when they have screwed up.  I loved this man, but the actual catching him cheating was the end for me.  I had a feeling that once I got to Atlanta, it was not going to be a good trip.  My heart had already been broken so I was not going to go all the way to Atlanta to tell him, No, again. That would have been another argument, and considering where I was going I would not have been able to just leave.  But, I still wanted to visit Atlanta.  I was packed and ready to go, but when the time came, my body literally became heavy and I had to sit down.  I sat there and I felt like I should not go.  The feeling was so strong that I would have been crazy to try and make it to the airport.  I missed the flight.  I missed the driver, with the limo and the flowers, but his friend made sure he told me exactly how he felt about it.  I knew at that point I had made the right decision.

The only way to have a great relationship with your higher self or intuition is to trust it.  Like any relationship, trust is a key component.  Learn to trust yourself, your decisions, and your way of living. Do not depend on outside sources to be your decision-maker, trust how you feel and go from there.   Do not let too many times go by that you have to say, "I knew It!"  It will save you a lot of headaches if you allow yourself to be guided and make decisions on how you instinctively feel.   Do not try to control so much of what you think you may know.  If you are feeling unsure, then give it time. If you ever get the feeling that you should not do something, trust it, and don't do it.  If you ever get the feeling that this is something that you can do, then take the risk, it might turn out better than you think.  

Peace & Love

Lavidus

 

Several Ways to Please Him...

Today I will be sharing several ways to please him.  It is Springtime, the birds are singing, the trees are greener and the sun is shining bright.  There's a sweet smell in the air for those who can float that high.  The mood is requiring you to indulge in some pleasure.  The waves of desire are stronger and this time anything goes.  It's not for the frivolous. It's for those who can handle the power behind it and the consequences of giving in to what fuels your fire.  Transformative energy that will send you skyrocketing into outer space.   The kind that will send you to several places with each stroke.  The kind that changes your life because it was time someone gave it to you how you deserve.  Yes, baby come over, I have something for you, and I hope you like it.  Whew!!

Ok, I am back.  

Yes, when it comes to pleasing a man there is something that you should know about his anatomy.  It is very sensitive.  Stroke him on the chest, his back, or neck, while having an intimate conversation and he will relax and fall deep.   A man is not only fueled by the vision that is in front of him but your ability to touch places before you actually touch places.    What you do before any of the physical takes place initiates the effort this man will put in when he does get that chance to put it in (pun intended).  Be a great listener, let him talk,  pay attention to how he leads, and you be an active follower.

Does your man trust you enough to go outside his comfort zone when it comes to his desires?  Or is he getting those needs met outside of your relationship?  Are you ready to fulfill them with no judgment? Your man must feel comfortable enough to not only discuss what he wants with you but also wants you to fulfill those needs.   I highly suggest if he is wanting you to do or perform anything outside of your comfort zone, please just do not do it.  Do not compromise your integrity for anyone.   

 A woman can offer several things to a man, but the one that makes him think and feel will outlast all others.  The one that can touch those unchartered territories. When it comes to pleasuring him, you should do it better than anyone else.   An unexpected kiss can turn any man on, well at least mine can.  Always flirt and keep it sexy for no reason, because remember he's visual and he loves to look at the meal before he eats.  When was the last time you winked at him, licked your lips, blew him a kiss, or whispered something nasty in his ear? Let's not lose sight of the small things, because they always lead to bigger things.  

This weekend try something new.  Close down for the weekend and be all into each other.  Get outside and let the sun ignite you.  Look into each other's eyes when you are talking, and pay attention to all of his needs spoken and unspoken.  Some of you know what I am talking about.  Before you meet or follow through with your plans, imagine how you want the day or night to be and make it happen.

Peace & Love

Lavidus