Your Inner Child

A lot of us need mothers and a lot of us need fathers.  When we are children if the emotional aspect of ourselves is not met and we become adults we will seek that emotional fulfillment in our relationships. We will look for acceptance, we will look for that validation, we will look for that nourishment and love. And when they can't find it, or when they don't recognize it, we will destroy whoever is trying to give it to them.  It's almost like, they need you to hate them as much as they hate themselves.  

When the inner child is not healed you run into all kinds of problems as an adult.   Along with sabotaging your relationships, you blame and remain an eternal victim of circumstance.  You can only grow and be fruitful when you are accountable when you are able to look at yourself and accept your true nature.  You can't blame momma and daddy forever.   There are those who refuse to heal because of the attention that it garners for being an eternal victim.  That attention fulfills a level of satisfaction, and it allows them to point the finger at someone else.  Being in a relationship with a person with an unhealed inner child is like being in a relationship with a child.  There is a lack of communication, mind games are played and instead of addressing their feelings, they do things behind your back to interfere with your progress or create situations where you need them.  

I remember when I was dating a guy who I had over for breakfast. It was his first time that he was having breakfast with my children and I had made pancakes and sausage, typical breakfast stuff.   I cut up my daughter's pancakes because she was five years old at the time. The guy I was dating asked me why didn't I cut up his pancakes? At first, I thought he was just being funny, but he wasn't and I asked him if he wanted me to call his momma to come cut up his pancakes because I was not going to be cutting up pancakes for a grown-ass man.  Throughout the relationship, I realized he was just grown physically.  There was a child in him waiting to be paid attention to and acknowledged.  Of course, I did not know that at the time, but yes, that was his inner child speaking.  

The journey to self can seem long and tempestuous and there are no shortcuts.   You have to learn to address ourselves before we address other people.  The path you are on is yours alone, so find the strength to accept your place in the world.  You don't have to be like anyone else, but yourself.  You don't have to compare yourself to anyone because there is no one like you.  Sometimes we have to become the parents that we needed and love ourselves unconditionally, with no judgment.  Pursue those things that bring you the most joy.  Play and be a joyous, fearless child, the world is yours.

Peace Within

Lavidus

Check out my Etsy Candle Store!

CandleByLights - Etsy

Image by rawpixel.com

Intentional Living

Are you living your life with intention or are you on auto-pilot?  Are you doing the same thing every day, with no variation to the program?  Does your environment support your health?  Why do we live so vicariously through people who are living fake lives instead of honoring and recognizing those who are innovators, the rebellious, the thinkers, and the doers?  The creators, the people who are truly in touch with themselves and unattached to outcomes.  How intentionally are you living?

Every day I wake up, I am grateful, but often I have no real plan and I don't have it all figured out.  I only hope to check off a few things from my to-do list and enjoy my day.  I used to give myself a lot to people, situations, jobs and often found myself with little to give myself.   Once I decided to change that, I began to see the true nature of those people who benefited from my kindness.  It made me even more aware of how much I gave of myself with little in return.  One thing I know about givers is they never really expect anything, they find joy in someone else's joy, but they also can get exhausted and resentful if given to the wrong people or situations.  I decided to go inside and find the core of what I am about and why a lot of things just had to be.  I had to be betrayed to find my strength.  I had to make a few bad decisions to find a better way.  

When you go on that journey of self-discovery you find out a little about who you are each day.  Each day you build on that and become stronger in who you are and in what you believe.  Knowing yourself is essential to healthy living, essential to those necessary boundaries, and essential to how you decide to proceed through life. Each day we decide if it will be a  continuation of the previous day or a whole new day to do something different.  It is always our decision.  If there are any distractions, obstacles, or unexpected things that come up throughout the day, take a moment to think about how you will handle them.  

 

How much time are you spending doing exactly what you want to do?  How often are you in the presence of people who uplift, accept, and love you just as you are?  You do not have to be anyone else but yourself to receive love,  have success, and anything else you want in this world.  But first, accept who you are.  Accept the shitty parts of yourself, as well as the great.  

Self-acceptance is very powerful because it takes away the judgment of others and it forces them to accept what's different and it forces you to stand in that power.  Oftentimes, it also forces those who oppose you to either look at themselves and their actions and accept who they are or fall deeper into the abyss of self-denial. Again, you choose.  

 Life becomes a simple place to exist when you are intentional with your thoughts and actions.  Not only are you aware of what you are doing, but you are also creating your desired outcome. When you are taking care of yourself, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually you are also helping taking care of others. When you spend an exorbitant about of time thinking about what someone else is doing, stalking, gossiping, and complaining, you are taking away from yourself and voluntarily giving up your power to people who barely even think of you.

Aaliyah- At Your Best ( You Are Love)💝💝💖

Peace & Love

Lavidus