Ride the Wave

Just Checking In......

Life happens in waves and if you can navigate those waves, life gets easier and you have a clearer understanding of why it all had to happen.  You learn to go on with a new attitude and leave those things that no longer serve you behind.   It gets easier to leave those things behind and move towards those things that feel good.  Those things that actually add to your happiness, are the only things that really matter.

When you get to a certain stage in life, everyone can't go with you. There are doors and chapters that will be closed forever.  Everyone will not be happy for you and everyone will not have a place in your future.   Some roads you must travel alone in order to get the full view of what this road may have just for you.  Everyone may not understand your path in the first place, so it is not up to them to determine your worth.  This is your life.  This is your gift, what are you going to do with it?

There is power in knowing who you are.  Power in knowing about the abilities that exist in us all.  We won't all have the same lessons to learn, and we won't all have the same experiences, but we all can come together and move mountains.   Imagine competing and comparing yourself to someone who does not even have the same purpose as you.  What a waste.  When you are able to dive into who you are and expose those parts of yourself that you won't even look at, there's a level of freedom that becomes a part of your existence when you can fully accept yourself. You may even wonder what took you so long to get to this place or wonder why it had to be you or wonder why your life is this way.  Well, none of that really matters.  What matters is that you are able to find yourself at every stage of your life, get lost, find yourself, get lost again and discover yourself. Get lost and love every part of it.  

One of the most unfortunate things in life is not being able to live in your truth.  Some of us, some of them, some of U’s are living but not really having the ability to live.  Loving without really having the ability to be loved.  Existing but not really feeling anything.   It all becomes empty emotions on repeat because those fictitious feelings become real and you hold on to the parts that you thought you needed.  Learn to release and let it all go.  Life is but a dream, so just learn to step back and ride the wave. 

Lavidus

"A person who doesn’t live in their truth can never make you happy.” LLW

Photo Credit: Waves

When It's Good to You, But Not Good for You

Greetings Beautiful People....💋💜💛💚

Owwww have you ever had something that was so good to you but not good for you?  Why is it that the hardest people and things to let go of are the things that provide us with the greatest high, but just simply is not good?  Things that we have to sneak to get it or that are tempting just feel better when we get them, right?  Whether it's people, places, or things,  re we really addicted, is that forbidden fruit that appealing? Or is it just something that we need to experience in order to get to where we need to be?

I used to love this man.  At least I thought I loved him,  I loved what he did with his magic wand.  I loved how he could maneuver around my body.  I loved how he could conquer and revive, ya know what I mean?  Had me completely blind to the facts.  But silly me, those were moments that I thought it was love.  He knew exactly what it really was because that's how he operated.  I thought well damn, it can't be this good with everybody?   Turns out it wasn't but he didn't find that out until he left and tried to come back.  Anyway... It didn't matter how good or bad it was, he was serving it up like hotcakes during Sunday Brunch. He was spreading it around like almond butter with all the nuts.   I could have easily chosen to continue to be blind, but what it was and what it wasn't became even more and more obvious and neither of us could not ignore the facts. .  He belonged over there and I belonged up there. We were on different shelves of life and I didn't have time for him to catch up. And besides, just because he looks the part, does not mean he knows the part.   

One more donut is good to you but may not be good for you.

One more night might be good to you, but may not be good for you.

Telling that lie might sound good to you, but in the long run, may not be good for you.

I know we all have experienced something that was so so bad but felt so so good, temporarily.  But for the love of ourselves, in order to keep our sanity and self-respect, we must let go of those relationships that only provide moments of happiness and years of despair. Let go of that job that seems to just drains you and keeps you from what you really want.  Letting go of that one-sided love, letting go of living an unfulfilled life.  I know that toxic shit can feel so good, temporarily.  But once you fully let go, you'll realize it wasn't the toxic shit that felt good, it was what you imagined it to be, you kept being disappointed by what you hoped it to be.  You created your own disappointment by believing something that you knew wasn't true.   There is strength in our lessons so don't be afraid of making mistakes, it's your chance to change and be honest with who you really are.   Learn to love yourself enough to know when something is good to you, but not good for you. 

Chocolate Love- Sanura & Raheem DeVaughn

Peace & Love

Lavidus

Are You A Compliment or Insult?

 Does the person in your life compliment you?  Are they a true representation of who you are and what you love for?   One person may look at your relationship and not understand the connection, but see the love. Another may not see the love, but understand why you are together.  I believe when it comes to choosing partners, lovers, wives, etc. you should be able to compliment each other, not just physically, but spiritually as well.   Whomever you decide to lock it down with, that person represents a part of you.  Look at the person you love, the person you are married to, or the person you are dating.   Yes, that's how you feel inside.  So, are you a compliment or an insult?  

Would you want someone to tell you you're the best, even when you are not?   Or would you want to be accepted and loved just as you are, flaws and all?   When you compliment someone you are also complimenting yourself, you are acknowledging yourself in them. There is no way you can be in a relationship with someone and not see parts of yourself, whether you like those parts or not, that person you have chosen represents a part of who you are.   If someone is acknowledging that you are not the best or the most intelligent, they are also acknowledging that in themselves.   If someone is loving you, accepting you, and giving you all they got, it's because they have that love within themselves to give. You cannot see (yourself) something in someone else and not acknowledge it in yourself.

Make me believe that I am exceptional from the rest, or make me feel special and not just someone you can get because you can not get anyone else.  What people fail to understand is love does not require you to lie to make the other person feel better about themselves.  Love does not require you to validate the unstable actions and mental state of someone who is truly incapable of maintaining a healthy relationship, because now you're married.  One of the sweetest things about love is you do not have to be too much of anything to receive it.   You do not have to be the best at anything.  You don't have to be perfect.  You just have to be able to share and reciprocate and be the yang to my yin.

Are you brave enough to love who you love?   Does the man or woman in your life compliment you?  People often say that life is short and time waits on no one, but there are millions of people living in relationships that they regret, being misrepresented by the person they love.  They won't even walk down the street and hold your hand, because they have made up their mind that you do not represent them.   Make sure you are with someone who truly represents who you are and who can love all sides of you. You do not want someone who will just compliment you behind closed doors.

Peace & Love

Lavidus

Please Don't Date Me-100 More Reasons Why (AudioBook)

Don't Affirm, Accept.

We all have these fantastic journeys that we are traveling.  These journeys we call life, we don't always have all the answers, nor do we always have it all figured out.  Some of us are able to ride the wave and manage this thing called life and others not so much.  When you resist, life gets complicated.  In order to cope and to make ourselves feel better, one of the ways we confirm our existence is through

 affirmations.  We affirm what we want, we affirm who we are, and we affirm who we aspire to be.  I am worthy.  I am strong.  I am somebody, but are you really?   During this episode, I explore the idea of accepting ourselves where we are first before we affirm who we want to be. 

I am on my own journey of self-love and self-discovery and it has not always been easy or nice.  I am not perfect by any means, but I always seek what I believe to be right and just.  Earlier in my life, some of my decisions were made based on my lack of confidence and on what was safe. I wasn't aware of the safety net that I had created for myself which also stunting my growth.  I was not always allowing myself to flow.  I was affirming "I am open to receive..blah blah blah..all that is divinely mine blah, blah, blah.  Affirming, but not willing to take the risk.  Believing, but not really ready to step out of faith.  I had to check myself and align myself with the words that were coming out of my mouth.  I had to enjoy, relax and accept myself at the stage I was at and then confirm with conviction who I was becoming.

Before you start affirming to what you want next or what you want to become, accept where you are right now.  Accept not being exactly where you want to be or who you want to be.   Accept your imperfections and what you don't like, and be open to making changes for your highest good.  This love thing is not about getting to a point where you have reached all these goals or made this much money, it's about accepting and knowing who you are before you get there.   You are who you are and your path is designed for you and you only.   Don't start looking in the mirror when you get a new outfit, or when you get those nails done, look at yourself right now.  Appreciate who you are and how far you've come at this very moment.  Once you do, whatever you want next is on the way.

Peace & Love

Lavidus

Please Don't Date Me-100 More Reasons Why (AudioBook)

Your Voice

 

To get your week started on a good foot, today's positive affirmation from the Make Today Magical Positive Affirmation Card Set is "I have a voice that matters". There is nothing more powerful than what you say and how you say it.  If you can articulate what you feel and believe in, then you are already ahead of the game.  And if you can habla ortro idioma, that's even better.

Your voice and words are a frequency and have the potential to put people in a trance.  Not only does the voice enter and activate several areas of the brain, but the vibration itself can be healing.  When you are saying affirmations over and over, it is creating a vibration.  That vibration is sent out to the universe and the universe always responds.  

Have you ever heard the term, "words are mightier than the sword?  Words can cut because of the vibration that each word sends.  Have you ever heard the term "the truth hurts"?  The truth hurts because the vibration of the words of truth cuts through all illusions of what you thought you believed and what you thought was true and knowing the truth can sometimes hurt.   You should always watch your words.  Manifestations are happening faster and faster, so be careful what you say about people and what you say about yourself because you are always being heard, and that internal guide is always listening.   Especially, if you are speaking about people in an unjustifiable manner.   The untrue words you may spew about someone else will become your truth. So be careful, you don't want to cause damage to your own life while trying to cause damage to someone else's.  

Use your voice to be the catalyst for change.  Everything is happening all at once, confusion, lies, debauchery, crime, and love.  So choose the world you want to be in.  Every battle is not yours to fight, so make sure you are not using your voice for empty matters. 

If I say, "I love you", can you feel it?  If I tell you, "You are the best I've ever had, do you believe me?  We all like to hear words that sound good, from music to speaking to singing voices.  That is the power of a frequency that we all have the power to tap into and use to our advantage.  We can change our voice to fit our mood or to change someone else's.  I learned on YouTube that Michael Jackson really had a deep voice, but he talked in that falsetto tone all the time to train his voice to be that way.  It opened the gateway for him to become the greatest entertainer in the world.  There isn't a song that Michael sang that did not move you in some kind of way. Would you like me better if I sound like this, or would you like it if I sound like this?  

I used to get laryngitis every year for about five or six years in a row,  and it would always happen in the month of  October.  For those of you who do not know what laryngitis is, it is an inflammation of the voice box.  It can happen when you get a cold, overuse your voice or some kind of irritation.  I would lose my voice for about a week, then it would recover.  Since I started using ginger, honey, and lemons,  I have not had laryngitis for a very long time.  I understand the power of the voice and it can be used in various ways, so I always take care of it.

No matter who you are, you have a voice and that voice is yours to use.  Use it for change and to empower yourself.  There is no need to go about talking jibberish, leave that to the politicians and the people who are professional delusionary speakers.  I often find it hard to indulge in small talk, because it doesn't require much thinking.  Yes, it is a skill to draw people in to listen, and before you know it you've spent half an hour or more listening to something that you do not understand.  Your energy has fueled an unbelievable truth.  You will take that unbelievable truth and spread it.  Remember, people will say things that are not the truth and it doesn't have to be, it just has to be believable, and once you believe it you make it true, whether it's really true or not.

Your voice is your voice.  Speak the life you want into existence.  And if your mama didn't tell you, I will.  If you don't have anything nice to say, be quiet, shut up, go to your room. 

That's all I have for today, tune in on Wednesday, my favorite day of the week to see what I discuss because right now I have no idea.  I am not prepared and I am winging it this week just to see what flies.  Tune in, I really appreciate all of you who listen to my podcast.  Get out there and make it a great day, it is all yours.

Lavidus

Energy Vampires

Everyone knows that energy vampires are people who are unable to sustain their own energy of life force so they feed off other people who are able to vibrate at a higher energetic level.  We all know that the most popular form of energy that these vampires come in is narcissism.  Social media is over-saturated with talking about the people that carry this energy.  The more you talk about it the more they manifest. So today I am changing the subject and discussing why we invite them into our lives.  We often discuss what to look for and how to get out of a relationship with a narcissist, but I want to discuss how you attract this energy in the first place. 

We all want to be loved,  needed, and taken care of at some point. Even if we are seeing and interacting with someone in the most shallow of situations, human contact is still what keeps the relationship going, no matter how toxic it is.  An energy vampire solicits that emotional need. We learn the most about ourselves through the relationships we have with other people.  We become a different version of ourselves with each person we interact with.   So why has the narcissist chosen you? Or better yet, why did you allow good sex and empty promises cloud your judgment? For me, it was the empty promises followed up by some mind-blowing sex.  It was so good that I forgot about all the promises.  It took me a while to break away from this particular person because I was dickmatized.  I thought I loved him, but I realized this man had no emotional depth, and the only thing I was feeling deeply was that extension he carried so well.  We only had a few moments of happiness and because I was so caught up in looking forward to those moments, I didn't even realize that that was all it was and it was not about getting any better than this. Then that's when you have to make a decision.  You see it for what it is, now what?  You have to start thinking about what you really deserve and when those wheels start turning and that confidence starts to build up and you start to look in the mirror and start falling in love with yourself, then you realize that vampire energy has to go.  That particular energy is no longer fitting the version of yourself that you are becoming.  So Au revoir! Adios! Arrivederci! and Bye-bye! Leave them and it all behind.

Those empty unfulfilling relationships will get easier to recognize and let go.  You will no longer feel the need to argue with a fool because it is all above you now.  You no longer need to justify or validate your decisions, because you trust your intuition.  Those are some of the things you may learn, and since some of you are slow learners, take as long as you need to learn those lessons because they will keep coming.  The universe does not have a shortage of lessons, so learn them because the universe also does not have a shortage of abundance.  

Maybe you need to learn how to love yourself, so life will break your heart a few times before you know your worth. Maybe you need to learn how to put up boundaries, so life will allow you to be used until you protect yourself.   If you are doing, being, or existing anywhere that you do not want to be, the universe will send some tests and situations to see if you really want to change or if you are just playing around with moments of sovereignty.  Will you settle for this?  Or will you settle for that? Are you willing to walk away and heal yourself and prepare yourself for what you truly deserve?  What are you really ready for? Because these energy vampires will test all of that.  

You can not complain about something and still have them in your life while trying to create a blessing with someone else.  It does not work like that.  You can not settle for a life you do not deserve and hate on those who waited and got everything that they deserve.  No, you can't get past true intentions and your thoughts.  So if you find yourself in the presence of those that suck your energy and leave you feeling drained and hopeless, think about the lesson you need to learn and why you continue to allow it to happen.  What part of you needs to heal?  There is something greater waiting for you but first, you will need to prepare yourself.   You know what you need to do, so trust yourself and get it done.

 

That's all I have for today, stay tuned for Friday's Question of the day.  If you have any relationship questions or any subjects you would like me to discuss, please submit them to relationshiptalkpodcast@gmail.com.  Get out there and make it a great day, it is all yours.

Lavidus

Dickmatized

reference:WomanLit

New Beginings...

Each day we are granted a new beginning.  A chance to start again.  A do over, if you will.  But how many of us take advantage of the day?  How many of us let the stress of yesterday seep it's way into a new day?  How many of you have let a long term problem fester?   The time is now.  There is no more delaying the things that you must change, or let go because there is no time like the present.  

I recently had a conversation with a man who wasn't sure if he should let his "situation" go.  I called it a long term relationship.  His situation was he was with a woman with four children, none of them are his.  He wants to have children and she is done having children.  They both are feeling the strain of the relationship because he is taking care of four children that are not his and wants to be a father.  She has told him she would understand if he wanted to go on to another relationship that would provide him children.  Instead of being honest and having a honest conversation, he wants to cheat on her instead.  Once he cheats and she finds out, guess what?  The relationship will still be over.  Her suggesting that he can leave, was too easy.  He wanted to hurt her first, so he could validate her leaving him and relieve himself of the guilt of leaving her with four kids. An honest conversation would eliminate all of that.  How do you co-exist in a relationship with someone you can't be honest with?  Sometimes people hold on to you just to prevent you from being happy with someone else. My point is,  do not ever waste time in a situation that you know you should leave.  Honor that gut feeling, it's never wrong.

Starting over is not easy.  I have lost count of the many times I had to start over.  The numerous of times I lost things and started from nothing.  It seemed bleak at first, but once you look at it as an opportunity, then the ideas start to flow, the gates began to open and life becomes what you imagined.  Starting over is a great opportunity to do what you didn't do.  It is a chance to put into practice what you learned from the last mistake.  Let the change take place and grow from the lesson.  We are all here to experience life and share that experience.  There are no perfect methods to existing, so seize the day!  Become like water and flow.  

Peace & Love

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