Reflections

Greetings Beautiful People. Are you Alright?

Every now and again I reflect on the past.  When I reflect, it helps me to make sound future decisions.  I reflect on the decisions I have already made, the people I have come across, the people who have passed through, and those who have remained true.  I also pull back my energy from people and situations to better evaluate who they are and the purpose they serve in my life.  It makes me more intentional with who I entertain.   I began this practice when I realized I had overstayed my time in someone's life.  It was no longer beneficial to me or to my soul to even allow this person in my space because I no longer resonated with them. Because of all the growth I have done, because of all the internal changes that have occurred, I was no longer the person I used to be.  I could no longer allow certain things and people in my space, and I no longer wanted to be in theirs.

Take a moment to reflect on where you are right now and the decisions you had to make to get to where you are.  The people who you had to let go of.  Maybe for some of you, it was not an easy decision, but it was something that had to be done in order for you to progress.  For others, you quickly realized that you made the decision that will teach you the hardest of lessons.  Sometimes when you choose "You" and people can no longer benefit from your good looks, your good heart, or presence they start to feel a certain kind of way. When you become better off without them and feel better when they are not around, it becomes easier to decide where and with whom you spend your time.  You and I both know you probably have given time to people who thought you were less than or people who thought they could control you or been around people who did not deserve a second of your time. (Guilty!)  I am sure they were pretty surprised when they got that all-access pass revoked.

When you are no longer in the business of making people look good because you are standing beside them or feel good because you stroke their inflated ego, people really take offense to you not being available and at their disposal. Especially, when they find out you can not be replaced, emulated, or recreated. When you remove yourself from all the clutter what you will find is how people really feel about you.  You will find out what they really think and it will lead you to the truth.  Once you get that truth, there is nothing anyone can do or say about it.  It cannot be manipulated or changed.

Reflecting has allowed me to see the truth about myself and about others.  I accept or deny and move on with my life, with or without them in it.   It becomes easier to trust how I feel and it has become a real time saver.   When you can't hide behind the lies anymore, because when there are no more lies to be told and all there is left is the truth, what will you do?   Take a moment to reflect on a time when the truth came out.  After all the lies were told, after all the bullshit, the projecting, and the tactics set up to make you fail, you will find it was not for your benefit, it was for their’s.  It was their lesson to learn because you made progress, while they were still trying to figure out what happened.  You broke strides, and now they are left to clean up their mess.  While they were doing a whole lot of watching, they were missing the point and the point has always been them.  

Coming up against you will only give them lessons and when they reflect, they'll be embarrassed about how elementary they behaved and how much time they spent on nothing.  When you are an authentic person, you cannot be replaced.  When you can make people feel something, they will never forget that feeling.  Learn to let people live in the fuckery they create. Their paradise will always have to come through you and they will always be trying to get back to what's real, and it will always be your decision to let them back in or not.  Always remember, when people show you who they are, believe them.  Reflect on all the changes you've made, all the growth, the sacrifices, and all that you have become.  If you like what you see, don't look back.  If you don't, stop what you are doing, take a look around, and make a different decision.

Peace & Love

Lavidus

"Make sure you stand on their hands, so they can see who you are." LLW

Dreamz

He told me I was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen

I had to let him know that I was just a dream

I might feel real to the touch 

And stir up your emotions and such

But baby, I am not even real

Oh yes, you are! he said

I could have sworn I saw you in my bed

No, Mister that was an illusion, I was just clearly in your head

Well, I see you now and I feel you close

The warmth of your skin, your lips so moist

Oh yeah, you say, it's all on display

It is a real game that you choose to play

Dig deep my love, come feel this trip

Guided by my thoughts, while you hold my hips

Feel real you say?  I'll give you that for today

But tomorrow it will be a different trip

So wake up early in the night

Never sleep on the latest flight

Drive by and select, push play and she's on deck

He told me I was the most beautiful thing he has ever seen

I had to let him know that I was just a dream.

Lavidus

Your Sexuality

I've learned that society has a high interest in who you are having sex with.   I bet you are probably wondering who is taking me to new heights under the full moon.  I am not sure why the curiosity is so high.  I am not sure why people are so engrossed in knowing what you like sexually. The porn industry is a billion-dollar industry because people love watching other people have sex.  The sex toy industry is also a billion-dollar industry because people love playing while having sex. So why has it been such a taboo subject to talk about?  Why are people so ashamed of what they like behind closed doors?  

Society.  Society plays a great part in our daily lives and decisions.  If it tells you to not show yourself, and you do, then it judges you, then you retreat.  It tells you that it is ok to pursue the American dream because everyone has the same dream right?  Then you go about it, but you'll be a complete failure if you do not reach these "outlined benchmarks".   When you follow the same program that your parents or grandparents followed, or whatever generational tradition that you adhere to, you'll find that it really is just you volunteering for things that do not allow you to grow, be different or express yourself sexually.  We are in a society that wants us to stand in a uniform line and wait for instructions on how to proceed in our daily lives.  You were not born to think, you were born to be compliant, how does that sound?

Times are changing at what seems like an increased pace.  Women that used to assume that I was bi-sexual or  lesbian, are now in sexual relationships with their "besties".  After so many unsuccessful relationships with men, your best friend, I assume, is the next best option.   Although I am not sexually attracted to women, I understand the emotional connection a woman can make based on common experiences.  One of the men I dated, who is now a bonafide gay man, has become more comfortable with showing who he really is.  All I can is, I was right.  It has become more acceptable since society is indicating that now it is ok to be gayer than ever.   You also have men and women who get into marriages and relationships just to hide their sexuality, why?  They want you to bind yourselves into these relationships just for appearances and you'll have to cheat with someone else to get what you truly desire.  Why?  You are intentionally creating toxic situations that your children will see and copy.  What would be so wrong with standing up for your happiness and living life how you want to?  If you have to disappoint people in the process,  then disappoint them.

Sex is very powerful and it always has the potential to change the dynamic of any relationship, but if you both have the same intentions, it can be very explosive.  Sex is more than just for reproduction, a jump in the hay, or a boring quickie.  You are allowing another person to enter into your vortex, good and bad energy can be transferred, along with some sexually transmitted diseases.    You are sharing a part of yourself that leaves you open for unpredictable outcomes. Your sexuality is an extension of you, it is not all of who you are.  If you choose to have many lovers or one, that is your prerogative, just choose wisely. 

We live in a world that is filled with sex and sexual inuendoes.  In the movies, all over the television, and even in cartoons, sex has been the subliminal topic  It dictates what we call ourselves and how we define ourselves.  Twenty years ago, there wasn't even a name for the many things people are calling themselves today.  Twenty years from now, what will society deem it's OK  to be?  What will be the new way to define ourselves?   Will it be a place where we are completely free from the thoughts and actions of people who do not live in our society?   My hope is we will finally come forth as a society and be mentally and sexually free.   We will collectively change this heavily filtered narrative and get comfy with our truth.  Whatever the truth is.  Wave your freak flag while making a positive contribution to society.   In the world that I imagine, we are all accepted and loved just as we are because everyone has finally accepted themselves.

Peace & Love

Lavidus

"The world will give you everything, and kill you for liking it." LLW

Are You In Love with A Sociopath?

 

Greetings beautiful people. Are you alright?

Are you in love with a sociopath?  I know that I have dated a few guys with unaddressed mental issues and I am sure some of you men have come across a woman that is unusually crazy.  I say "unusually" because all women have a level of craziness and once it's crossed we may seem a little bit crazier than the norm.  Especially when the culprit that took us there claims that we are.   There are people who are functioning in society who probably need a pill or two, or maybe a few counseling sessions to address those unaddressed issues. If I say anything during this episode that might trigger you, then go ahead and sign up for those therapy sessions and start that healing.

What is a sociopath?  A sociopath is someone who has an anti-social personality disorder.  They have no regard for others or feelings. They lack empathy and remorse for their wrongdoings and have the need to exploit and manipulate others for personal gain.  Sound familiar?  The difference between them and narcissists is, the narcissist is all about themselves and the sociopath is all about you.  In an argument, a sociopath may reveal to you a text message that you sent on December 6th, 2001 because that’s how long they’ve been stalking you and will feel no remorse about it.  But how are they in relationships?  How can a person with no real emotion, empathy, or remorse feel love?

A sociopath can feel love, but it is not the kind of love that is considered "normal" when it comes to emotions.  Their love can be based on what they can gain from you.  It has nothing to do with the heart, and everything to do with how beneficial you are to them.  Their relationships are very superficial and at times hard to maintain because if there is nothing to benefit from you, it will be hard to pretend that they love you.   An example would be the wife that leaves the husband after he loses his job. Or the wife that gets sick and now the husband has to take care of the kids, but he has an affair instead.   A sociopath can do something so drastic that you do not recognize them because they wear so many faces.    A sociopath does not feel any remorse for leaving you high and dry because they feel justified in leaving a situation that no longer benefits them.

 

I remember when I was in love with a fool whom I am sure was a sociopath.   Tall, dark, and handsome, the kind that always gets me in trouble. He had a weird relationship with his mother and always had a "story".  I was receptive to his hard times and helped him out because I understood.  But he started to not be so loving when I found out his real intentions.  He started picking fights, being disrespectful, and taking his time answering calls or texts.  When I stopped helping him out and I started asking questions, all of a sudden he was not so available and I was not so beneficial, so he did me a favor and ghosted me.   

 

If you ever run across a person who hurts you and feels no kind of remorse, a person who does things out of hate and malice and has no other intention but to see you suffer or fail.  Keep in mind that these people are already suffering.  They are dealing with things that you have no idea about.  Being in a relationship with a person who has no feelings will leave you feeling depleted, and starving for a moment where you actually feel loved. Until they get the help they need, they are not your problem to solve.

Peace & Love

Lavidus

"Keep judging me, maybe one day you will get it right." LLW

Love Me Back

I love you

Why don't you love me back?

I took all your shit

And I can't give it back!

I love you 

Why don't you love me back?

In the back seat or the front 

I gave it to you whenever you want

I love you

Why don't you love me back?

You said that if I give it to you

You would keep it, grip it and hold it tight

So we could both fly high

Do you mean to tell me, it was all a lie?

I love you

Why don't you love me back?

Was I too rooted, rivers flowed too deep?

Woke that thang up between the sheets

Couldn't understand why now you can't even sleep

I love you

Why don't you love me back?

I gave you the night and day

But then, you made me punish you with correction

Put a pause on all your erections

I love you and you should've loved me back

Now you're trapped in the past, stuck on what you lack

Wondering why you didn't love me back

Lavidus

"You might OD if you get too much of me."  Imported by Jessie Reyez & 6lack

WHM: Frida Kahlo

 Frida Kahlo

Happy Women's History Month

Magdelena Carmen Frida Kahlo y Calderon was born on July 6, 1907, in Mexico City, Mexico.  She was best known for her self-portraits and artwork that displayed her nationality, nature, tragedy, and death.  Although Ms. Kahlo enjoyed art in school, she wanted to become a doctor, but a tragic accident would derail that dream and lead her to become one of the greatest artists in Latin history.

While bedridden she began painting friends, family, and herself.  "I paint myself because I am alone and I am the subject I know best."  After recovering, life would change drastically again upon the meeting of fellow artist Diego Rivera.   They created a partnership that made them very popular and successful in the art world during their time.

Frida Kahlo holds the auction record for a Latin American piece of art.  In 2001, she was the first Hispanic to be honored on the U.S postage stamp.

Thank you all for listening to me honor some of the women that I admire and who all have something that I take with me.  There are several other women who have made a difference in this world, for instance, Betty Davis, American Rock Star, Hedy Lamarr, Inventor, Cleopatra, Genius Warrior and so many, many more. Whether big or small you matter.  You can do anything, allow your mind to stretch and take you places.

 Peace & Love

Lavidus

Recognize

In order to recognize, you must be able to see

In order to see, you must be able to be free

Remove the shackles on your brain before you go insane

Come ride on the abstract train with me

A lot of you won't know paradise if it sat on your face

You won't know day from night 

Too stuck in this race

The darker the berry the sweeter the juice

Lighting it up with deception and you have the new truth

Divide, divide, divide then multiply and add, add, add then subtract from the facts

Now how will you react when you find out we've all been misinformed

And if we take it all the way back and add the real facts then we all need to be reborn

He wanted to visit me in the night to stir my soul

Drown me with worldly things that would make me feel whole

Change my direction, and I promise I won't flee

Intermingling with the divine will have you stuck on me

You try to sneak into my thoughts without the proper pass

Copy cat dreams with no mind or themes to last

Into the mind enters your doubt, your confidence has been slayed

At night when you are all alone, with no way to get out of the wrong bed you lay

What do you see when you stare at perfection

A wish you could have, a wish you could touch this kind of heaven?

Well, are you sure?  Because what would you give up for this Kind of pleasure?

In order to recognize, you must be able to see

In order to see, you must be able to be free

Remove the shackles on your brain before you go insane

Come ride on the abstract train with me

Stay tuned for Wednesday's Women's History Month:  Magdelena Carmen Frida Kahlo

                               Frida Kahlo

WHM: Nina Simone

                                                                Nina Simone

Happy Women's History Month

Nina Simone was born on February 21, 1933, in North Carolina.  She was a singer, songwriter, arranger, and civil rights activist. You can find her vocal ability smothering over a jazz tune or in your feels when she sang, gospel, pop, or R&B.  

Ms. Simone spoke loudly about the social and racial injustices in this country and sang about them too. "Mississippi Goddam" was a song that spoke about the hangings in Mississippi.  "Four Women", exposed the typical identities that women of color have been restricted to.   "Feelin Good", and "I Put A Spell on You" have been performed by many artists and you can hear her songs on some of the most popular commercials today. 

Nina Simone was inducted into the North Carolina Music Hall of Fame in 2009 and into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2018.   Ms. Nina Simone was a Phenomenal Woman.

WHM: Maya Angelou

 Maya Angelou

In October 2021, Ms.Angelou became the first black woman on a U.S coin.

Happy Women's History Month

For the month of March, I will be paying homage to the many women that I admire. 

Maya Angelou was born on April 4, 1928.  She was a poet, civil rights activist, actress, director, and wore many other titles. She is known for her first book, I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings, and by her poetry,  Phenomenal Woman.  She was the first black female cable car conductor in San Francisco and was awarded over thirty honorary and college university degrees. She appeared on Broadway and sang her own compositions. Maya Angelou was indeed a phenomenal woman. 

The Day I met Maya Angelou

Match My Vibe

Happy Women's History Month!

You are my favorite thing

Vibing in the clouds, dripping on me from that honey tree

You came into my life like a warm breeze on my skin 

You wanted to be my lover but said we were just friends

Fearless is this love, a woman you made roar, unfazed by the dark and the 

Unknown, but you made it clear

You would catch me no matter how hard I fall

You would cover me in your arms and protect this love, make love to me so deep 

So deep that I will know no other, see no other until my eyes are permanently sleep

Match my vibe you say, fly with me, be unlimited and free

Come with me and catch my thoughts while I read your body

You make my heart beat faster and sing songs with a new tune

My body has lost all memory of lovers' past, Oh how they wish they could still get this...!

I am your's now and forevermore, you earned the right to have me in your arms every night

We were more than just screenshots and faded memories, you got the real thing, baby!

Hold my hand and drift into my wave, let's float into eternity

There is no one else in this world but you and me

Have you ever had a love that changed your life for the better? 

Made you feel safe, loved, and knew that you would always be together?

Match my vibe, so you'll know that this is what's real

Close your eyes, baby,  and feel what I feel

I would never trade you for another because I know you can not be replaced

Anything after you, is just another warm body, without the brains or the taste

Touch me again and make me remember that this is all you

Thank you for loving me and making all my dreams come true.

Lavidus

3 Signs Your Relationship is Doomed!

Greetings beautiful people. Are you alright?

There are so many elements and stages that play into being in a relationship.  First, you meet the representative, then you meet the co-star, and then you might get to meet the real person somewhere down the line.  Once you see who they really are, instead of just outright leaving the relationship, some relationships experience what I call a slow death.  You both know it's over, but now you're just going through the motions for a lot of different reasons, but one of the main reasons is, there is too much invested and you may feel as if you're stuck, but are you really? Even the most comfortable of places, breeds contentment.   But just in case you are not sure where your relationship is headed, maybe these signs will help you figure it all out.

1. NO COMMUNICATION-You used to greet each other with a kiss.  You used to buy her gifts.  You used to give it and get it anytime or anyplace, but now you just see each other in passing, come together for appearances and bills.  Communication is always brief, but no real effort or emotion. There is no need to discuss anything other than the things that you have in common, like the mortgage, these bills, investments, and oh, those children over there.  Other than that, we live separate lives.  What used to be is no longer, but obligations have bound us so we play the happy game.  Smile for the camera, we are on again.

The communication has gone so far left, you are now using sign language.  You do not care if they heard you or not, you ain't repeating nothing you said and that's that. 

2. NO LOVE-Remember how everything you used to do was just genius and you would support all their crazy dreams and ideas?  You would agree with almost everything they said because it just sound so good at the time. But now you can't stand to hear anything that is coming out of their mouth.  Every time there is something that needs to be discussed it ends up in an argument.  You cannot see eye to eye at all or come to any kind of agreement, because now they always want to be right.  You are not in love anymore, and this is just another relationship you cannot wait to end if you could. No argument is too petty.

When you have found new hobbies, friends, and outside interest that does not include your significant other, you are definitely on your way to establishing a life without them. 

  

3. NO SEX-The sex that used to make you crawl with anticipation, make your legs shake just to think about it.   The sex that had you thinking all day about what you are going to do all night has turned into thoughts of, "I hope he doesn't think he gettin' some tonight" or "I hope she is asleep by the time I get home."  It is no longer a treat to slip it in at the break of dawn, now you pretend to be in a full coma, snoring, with slob coming out your mouth and that is not turning anyone on. What used to be spontaneous interactions, filled with passionate lovemaking and all kinds of positions is now gone, part of a non-existent past.  They say once the sex is gone, it is a matter of time before the whole relationship disintegrates. You don't mind too much because you have not slept in the same bed in years and if it comes down to it, you have no problem getting your needs met by any means necessary.

All relationships often have ups and downs, but you decide if it is worth another try or if the fire has completely gone out.  There are always ways to bring back that spark if you really want to.  There are ways to make him put that phone down.   But please do not ignore the signs that your relationship is simply over. There is nothing worse than waking up to someone who you no longer love or like.  It will only prolong your being in love with someone who just adores you and has no problem fulfilling all of your needs. 

Peace & Love

Lavidus