"Relationships"

Does your relationship suck? Are you happy?  Are you satisfied or are you just going through the motions?   What kind of relationship are you in right now? Here we are, we have chosen to co-exist in his conflict of personalities, although we have the approval of our friends and society, we are miserable. Or here we are and we have made it so far, there is no one I'd rather be with than you. What is your reality?

There are several different types of relationships, some work and some do not.  Most relationships are based on the agreement of two people to be faithful,  to just have sex with each other, and to hold hands in public.  Others are more conspicuous, they never show public affection, and are insanely jealous but are in an open relationship.  Whatever works, right?  Who defines your relationship? Is it better to hold on to comfort because it's familiar or is it too costly to take a risk on what you really want?

Relationships fall into one of three categories, or maybe all three.  If there are other categories, please chime in, I would love to know your status.  

1. We have been together so long that we are no longer lovers, just friends.  The love is there, but not really.  At this point, it will be too hard to start over and no one puts up with my shit better than you. Although the kids are grown and we are still together this relationship has been over for a very long time and I am just waiting on you to get hit by a bus, Love you.

2.  I love you, but my feelings have changed. I would tell you but the divorce will be too costly and the image we have created together will crumble.  So we will continue to pretend as if we are happy, just like our friends. How embarrassing it would be for our marriage to not last longer than theirs?  I will just have a small affair every now and again and pretend I don't know about your shenanigans and we'll come together on special occasions, and holidays, ok? 

3. It's always new.  You look at each other and you are able to bring out that same fire from day one.  You have had your bad days and you have had your good days, but you have always had each other, so the storms have never been lonely.  People can feel the love between the two of you and it makes them happy.   You give, you serve and you love each other and it shows.

Relationships are always what you make them.  You choose the person, and the time you spend.  Love is whatever you say it is, that definition is up to you.   Relationships help to define us, change us, and to make us better.  Hopefully, you are in a relationship that brings out the best in you even when you are not feeling your best.  Hopefully, you are in a relationship that makes you feel like the greatest, even when you do feel great.  If you are not in a fulfilling relationship, hopefully, you have the courage to change it.  Be with someone who you can completely be naked with, with your clothes on.  Find that love, be that love and you cannot go wrong.

Peace & Love

Teena Marie- Square Biz  💚💚💋Happy Friday!!

Lavidus

Intentional Living

Are you living your life with intention or are you on auto-pilot?  Are you doing the same thing every day, with no variation to the program?  Does your environment support your health?  Why do we live so vicariously through people who are living fake lives instead of honoring and recognizing those who are innovators, the rebellious, the thinkers, and the doers?  The creators, the people who are truly in touch with themselves and unattached to outcomes.  How intentionally are you living?

Every day I wake up, I am grateful, but often I have no real plan and I don't have it all figured out.  I only hope to check off a few things from my to-do list and enjoy my day.  I used to give myself a lot to people, situations, jobs and often found myself with little to give myself.   Once I decided to change that, I began to see the true nature of those people who benefited from my kindness.  It made me even more aware of how much I gave of myself with little in return.  One thing I know about givers is they never really expect anything, they find joy in someone else's joy, but they also can get exhausted and resentful if given to the wrong people or situations.  I decided to go inside and find the core of what I am about and why a lot of things just had to be.  I had to be betrayed to find my strength.  I had to make a few bad decisions to find a better way.  

When you go on that journey of self-discovery you find out a little about who you are each day.  Each day you build on that and become stronger in who you are and in what you believe.  Knowing yourself is essential to healthy living, essential to those necessary boundaries, and essential to how you decide to proceed through life. Each day we decide if it will be a  continuation of the previous day or a whole new day to do something different.  It is always our decision.  If there are any distractions, obstacles, or unexpected things that come up throughout the day, take a moment to think about how you will handle them.  

 

How much time are you spending doing exactly what you want to do?  How often are you in the presence of people who uplift, accept, and love you just as you are?  You do not have to be anyone else but yourself to receive love,  have success, and anything else you want in this world.  But first, accept who you are.  Accept the shitty parts of yourself, as well as the great.  

Self-acceptance is very powerful because it takes away the judgment of others and it forces them to accept what's different and it forces you to stand in that power.  Oftentimes, it also forces those who oppose you to either look at themselves and their actions and accept who they are or fall deeper into the abyss of self-denial. Again, you choose.  

 Life becomes a simple place to exist when you are intentional with your thoughts and actions.  Not only are you aware of what you are doing, but you are also creating your desired outcome. When you are taking care of yourself, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually you are also helping taking care of others. When you spend an exorbitant about of time thinking about what someone else is doing, stalking, gossiping, and complaining, you are taking away from yourself and voluntarily giving up your power to people who barely even think of you.

Aaliyah- At Your Best ( You Are Love)💝💝💖

Peace & Love

Lavidus

When It's Good to You, But Not Good for You

Greetings Beautiful People....💋💜💛💚

Owwww have you ever had something that was so good to you but not good for you?  Why is it that the hardest people and things to let go of are the things that provide us with the greatest high, but just simply is not good?  Things that we have to sneak to get it or that are tempting just feel better when we get them, right?  Whether it's people, places, or things,  re we really addicted, is that forbidden fruit that appealing? Or is it just something that we need to experience in order to get to where we need to be?

I used to love this man.  At least I thought I loved him,  I loved what he did with his magic wand.  I loved how he could maneuver around my body.  I loved how he could conquer and revive, ya know what I mean?  Had me completely blind to the facts.  But silly me, those were moments that I thought it was love.  He knew exactly what it really was because that's how he operated.  I thought well damn, it can't be this good with everybody?   Turns out it wasn't but he didn't find that out until he left and tried to come back.  Anyway... It didn't matter how good or bad it was, he was serving it up like hotcakes during Sunday Brunch. He was spreading it around like almond butter with all the nuts.   I could have easily chosen to continue to be blind, but what it was and what it wasn't became even more and more obvious and neither of us could not ignore the facts. .  He belonged over there and I belonged up there. We were on different shelves of life and I didn't have time for him to catch up. And besides, just because he looks the part, does not mean he knows the part.   

One more donut is good to you but may not be good for you.

One more night might be good to you, but may not be good for you.

Telling that lie might sound good to you, but in the long run, may not be good for you.

I know we all have experienced something that was so so bad but felt so so good, temporarily.  But for the love of ourselves, in order to keep our sanity and self-respect, we must let go of those relationships that only provide moments of happiness and years of despair. Let go of that job that seems to just drains you and keeps you from what you really want.  Letting go of that one-sided love, letting go of living an unfulfilled life.  I know that toxic shit can feel so good, temporarily.  But once you fully let go, you'll realize it wasn't the toxic shit that felt good, it was what you imagined it to be, you kept being disappointed by what you hoped it to be.  You created your own disappointment by believing something that you knew wasn't true.   There is strength in our lessons so don't be afraid of making mistakes, it's your chance to change and be honest with who you really are.   Learn to love yourself enough to know when something is good to you, but not good for you. 

Chocolate Love- Sanura & Raheem DeVaughn

Peace & Love

Lavidus

Let It Happen

SHAME Love, Lies & Lust by L.L. Walton

                   

  Available on Amazon.com and Kindle Or Click the link to the right to order an autographed copy.                              → →→→→→→→

Today I am reintroducing SHAME Love, Lies & Lust  It is the first book that I wrote with characters.  Each chapter has a section of love stories, lie stores, and lust stories.   It is a short book filled with short stories about the trials, and tribulations of being in love, sacrifice, and the consequences of your decisions.   Thank you all for your love and support.💓

I often reflect on my relationships and the state of mind I was in when I made the decision to allow certain people in my life.  When I reflect it is also a time to acknowledge how much I've grown.  I am thankful for those experiences and how they have helped me grow.  This life is all about the journey.  Wherever you are, wherever you are trying to go, do not underestimate the power of appreciating where you are right now.  Change always comes on time and is constantly happening.  You can try to delay it, you can even ignore it, and it happens whether you are ready for it or not.  Wouldn't it just be easier to accept life as it comes, let go of all control and relax into it?  All you have to do is manage your own thoughts and stay focused on your desired outcome.  Mind the business that feeds you and distractions do not exist. Most of you should know, that writers are excellent liars, give me an audience and I’ll tell you what to feed them. 

I am often disappointed when I believe in the maturity of humanity. You would think that after all this progression, people would be more accepting of people who are opposed to what they are used to, but I always get the same result. However, I am still hopeful that society will get to the point where they do not feel so intimidated by things and people they do not understand.  You cannot pick apart another without picking apart yourself.  I am just a reflection, so you do not have to tell me what you don’t like about yourself, I already see it. 

Do not rush, just let it all happen.  Patience is the key. Time is going as fast or as slow as it is going to go.  You cannot change the happening, just like you cannot change the past.   Too many people let the past control their current state of mind and they are making comparisons to a future that does not exist. What's done is done.  It's either time to ask for forgiveness, or forgive yourself and move on.  There is no growth allowing the past to live in your head like old weeds.  Create the space for new things and for new beginnings to grow.  Be brave and walk alone when necessary.  You can never go wrong with true intentions.  True Intentions. You can never go wrong by moving forward in honesty, your truth  and love. 

Lavidus

Trust Yourself

Have you ever felt an inkling about something?  Have you ever had a gut feeling?  Have you ever had a thought that came from nowhere and you acted upon it without any logical reason? That is your inner guide.  Some make call it your higher self or intuition. I like to call it your inner-navigation system.  It always tells you what's right and when you ignore it, you get lost. You must develop that amazing extra sense that you have.  One day, it will be all you need.  You can barely trust the things that people are telling you these days.  People will literally look you in the eye and straight-up tell you a lie and feel no qualms about it.  But the one thing that a liar can not do is hide the truth.  

So you might ask, how does one learn to trust their gut?   You learn by trusting it and never doubting it.  You learn by asking questions and when the answer comes, don't be surprised because you already felt it was true.  Sometimes all this amazing navigation system does is confirm what we already know.   You knew she was cheating.  You knew he had a woman.  You know damn well she is not going to take you back.  You knew you didn't deserve her, but you tried anyway. These are the things that you tell yourself because you already know.  Unles, you are allowing fear to dictate your future in a negative way.  That's another episode because you can manifest your fears and that's different than trusting your intuition.

I remember once when I was dating a guy who paid for me to take a flight from California to Atlanta to make up to me for his cheating. Yeah, you know they go all out when they have screwed up.  I loved this man, but the actual catching him cheating was the end for me.  I had a feeling that once I got to Atlanta, it was not going to be a good trip.  My heart had already been broken so I was not going to go all the way to Atlanta to tell him, No, again. That would have been another argument, and considering where I was going I would not have been able to just leave.  But, I still wanted to visit Atlanta.  I was packed and ready to go, but when the time came, my body literally became heavy and I had to sit down.  I sat there and I felt like I should not go.  The feeling was so strong that I would have been crazy to try and make it to the airport.  I missed the flight.  I missed the driver, with the limo and the flowers, but his friend made sure he told me exactly how he felt about it.  I knew at that point I had made the right decision.

The only way to have a great relationship with your higher self or intuition is to trust it.  Like any relationship, trust is a key component.  Learn to trust yourself, your decisions, and your way of living. Do not depend on outside sources to be your decision-maker, trust how you feel and go from there.   Do not let too many times go by that you have to say, "I knew It!"  It will save you a lot of headaches if you allow yourself to be guided and make decisions on how you instinctively feel.   Do not try to control so much of what you think you may know.  If you are feeling unsure, then give it time. If you ever get the feeling that you should not do something, trust it, and don't do it.  If you ever get the feeling that this is something that you can do, then take the risk, it might turn out better than you think.  

Peace & Love

Lavidus

 

Several Ways to Please Him...

Today I will be sharing several ways to please him.  It is Springtime, the birds are singing, the trees are greener and the sun is shining bright.  There's a sweet smell in the air for those who can float that high.  The mood is requiring you to indulge in some pleasure.  The waves of desire are stronger and this time anything goes.  It's not for the frivolous. It's for those who can handle the power behind it and the consequences of giving in to what fuels your fire.  Transformative energy that will send you skyrocketing into outer space.   The kind that will send you to several places with each stroke.  The kind that changes your life because it was time someone gave it to you how you deserve.  Yes, baby come over, I have something for you, and I hope you like it.  Whew!!

Ok, I am back.  

Yes, when it comes to pleasing a man there is something that you should know about his anatomy.  It is very sensitive.  Stroke him on the chest, his back, or neck, while having an intimate conversation and he will relax and fall deep.   A man is not only fueled by the vision that is in front of him but your ability to touch places before you actually touch places.    What you do before any of the physical takes place initiates the effort this man will put in when he does get that chance to put it in (pun intended).  Be a great listener, let him talk,  pay attention to how he leads, and you be an active follower.

Does your man trust you enough to go outside his comfort zone when it comes to his desires?  Or is he getting those needs met outside of your relationship?  Are you ready to fulfill them with no judgment? Your man must feel comfortable enough to not only discuss what he wants with you but also wants you to fulfill those needs.   I highly suggest if he is wanting you to do or perform anything outside of your comfort zone, please just do not do it.  Do not compromise your integrity for anyone.   

 A woman can offer several things to a man, but the one that makes him think and feel will outlast all others.  The one that can touch those unchartered territories. When it comes to pleasuring him, you should do it better than anyone else.   An unexpected kiss can turn any man on, well at least mine can.  Always flirt and keep it sexy for no reason, because remember he's visual and he loves to look at the meal before he eats.  When was the last time you winked at him, licked your lips, blew him a kiss, or whispered something nasty in his ear? Let's not lose sight of the small things, because they always lead to bigger things.  

This weekend try something new.  Close down for the weekend and be all into each other.  Get outside and let the sun ignite you.  Look into each other's eyes when you are talking, and pay attention to all of his needs spoken and unspoken.  Some of you know what I am talking about.  Before you meet or follow through with your plans, imagine how you want the day or night to be and make it happen.

Peace & Love

Lavidus