A lot of us need mothers and a lot of us need fathers. When we are children if the emotional aspect of ourselves is not met and we become adults we will seek that emotional fulfillment in our relationships. We will look for acceptance, we will look for that validation, we will look for that nourishment and love. And when they can't find it, or when they don't recognize it, we will destroy whoever is trying to give it to them. It's almost like, they need you to hate them as much as they hate themselves.
When the inner child is not healed you run into all kinds of problems as an adult. Along with sabotaging your relationships, you blame and remain an eternal victim of circumstance. You can only grow and be fruitful when you are accountable when you are able to look at yourself and accept your true nature. You can't blame momma and daddy forever. There are those who refuse to heal because of the attention that it garners for being an eternal victim. That attention fulfills a level of satisfaction, and it allows them to point the finger at someone else. Being in a relationship with a person with an unhealed inner child is like being in a relationship with a child. There is a lack of communication, mind games are played and instead of addressing their feelings, they do things behind your back to interfere with your progress or create situations where you need them.
I remember when I was dating a guy who I had over for breakfast. It was his first time that he was having breakfast with my children and I had made pancakes and sausage, typical breakfast stuff. I cut up my daughter's pancakes because she was five years old at the time. The guy I was dating asked me why didn't I cut up his pancakes? At first, I thought he was just being funny, but he wasn't and I asked him if he wanted me to call his momma to come cut up his pancakes because I was not going to be cutting up pancakes for a grown-ass man. Throughout the relationship, I realized he was just grown physically. There was a child in him waiting to be paid attention to and acknowledged. Of course, I did not know that at the time, but yes, that was his inner child speaking.
The journey to self can seem long and tempestuous and there are no shortcuts. You have to learn to address ourselves before we address other people. The path you are on is yours alone, so find the strength to accept your place in the world. You don't have to be like anyone else, but yourself. You don't have to compare yourself to anyone because there is no one like you. Sometimes we have to become the parents that we needed and love ourselves unconditionally, with no judgment. Pursue those things that bring you the most joy. Play and be a joyous, fearless child, the world is yours.
Peace Within
Lavidus
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