Marriage Made in Heaven?

I often wonder about the institution of marriage these days. Where has all the love gone? These days it seems that marriage means, "Let me see how much bullshit I can throw your way before we decide to get a divorce". Or maybe it just means as long as I have someone to lie next to at night,who cares how dirty they are.

I see there are a lot of things that a person can go throw in a marriage that I simply do not think that I am built for. For instance, finding out that my husband is really gay, being cheated on numerous times or even being lied to.  Fathering other children, or having an "open" relationship. I am not sure those are things that God intended for marriage to be. It is a license that says you will be with me no matter what, I will love respect and honor you as my husband or wife and we will do our best to keep it together. I do not think that involves other people, but yet, people who are married participate in the swingers lifestyle. Sharing or swapping wives and or husbands, like it was placed in their vows.

I see husbands and wives cheating left and right. I see children being affected by it all. I see insecure women holding on to something that is not there anymore, just to say that they have a husband, is misery that important? Is the "look" of marriage more important than what it really is suppose to mean?  I see men putting up with disrespect from their wives and taking on lesbian lovers.  If that is what is the "norm" these days in marriage, then I'll pass.

 I probably won't ever get married because I am just too old fashioned. I believe a man should provide for his family. I believe in loyalty. I am liberal enough to know that the roles may change, but the rules still apply. There are rules you go by when you decide to get married. Rules, that are often broken so much, that you have to makeup more rules to accommodate the ones that were broken. I believe they should also share some responsibilities, whatever those responsibilities are should be decided between the two.It saddens me when I see a woman professing her love for her husband when her husband has others. Does she know? Is she putting on a front? Maybe they have an understanding.  the decision has been made to stay in it for the kids or financial reasons.  I don't know, but I know that at some point the institution of marriage really meant something.  And if did not involve checking a person's credit score. 

I know that marriage is hard, shit having a regular relationship is hard, but I think you should never invite other people into your marriage, EVER! And when you marry for the wrong reasons, it makes it that much harder. Maybe that's why it's hard, that ole' human need that desires another is natural. It's all about control and having respect for what you have at home. Unfortunately, some people have completely lost that. The want to be needed and desired from their husbands or wives becomes the responsibility of a mistress or the pool guy.   If it's just  for a night or ten years, that need eventually gets meet, along with the violation of your marriage vows. Is it really worth it?

I can have someone in my life and never get married, that's because I believe marriage does not validate a good relationship. Maybe one day I will cross that line, maybe I won't, either way I will have a clear understanding of who I am, and who I have invited to be such an intricate part of my life.

If you are married or in a relationship that may lead to marriage, do something special tonight for your loved one. Kiss her longer, hold him tighter, let them feel your love.  Communicate what it is you want and need.   You have to keep the spark alive at any cost, because if you don't someone else will.