Yes, I fell prey to that one that gives it to me in the most wild way. I think if it were not for my love of being explored sexually,then he would have been gone. Now it's about comfort, he knows my body without having a clue about my mind. So I pretend that he has the upper hand, when in reality I am running this. Always have and always will. There is one thing you have to understand about being a true and complete woman. When you know who you are and understand the power you have as a woman, you can sit back and watch as the picture unfolds; watch your creation come to life. Watch how he takes the lead,watch how he thinks he has the control, while you knowingly gave him that position in the first place. That's how you separate the strong from the weak, the big boys for the little ones. And when you are single and living your life to the fullest like me, it's quite a joy to watch.
Ok, back to him....
He fulfills that small void of intimacy since I am not in a committed relationship. I am beginning to feel that since he has had a change of heart that I should stop this little "thang", I have going on. We no longer have the same intentions. He probably thinks,like most men do when they make you cum,that they are the only one that can actually do that. No one can do it the way that they do, so they like to think. And yes, I acknowledge those that are right, but there are a lot of them that are simply wrong, wrong, wrong. Since I am more than what they can penetrate me with, I enjoy it for what it is, no more, no less. Since I am on the brink of letting that man go, I must say I have enjoyed what he has given me last few years. Iam not saying that I am ready to be in a committed relationship, or that I may not have a relapse or two, I am saying that all things come to an end. I am moving on and welcoming someone who can give it to me on all levels.
I have shared this with my lover in so many ways, and he had the nerves to say that he felt used. I was completely shocked, as if he provided a service that he too did not benefit from. I knew where the disconnect happened when he wanted more, but in a different way. He is not ready for the real truth of the matter, it would probably cause his brain to combust and I cannot be responsible for any tragedies.
Life goes on. I am definitely a drummer that beats her own tune. I often may get off beat, but even while doing so, it is the beat that I am suppose to carry. I love my life,and even more so, the life that I have envisioned for myself. There is nothing like living your life that is designed by no one but yourself. I practice free will daily, and give in any way I can. One day this phase of life will end and I will welcome the next with, faith, excitement and gratitude.
Ok I got off subject a bit, but there are these times that I want to share a little more about who I am and what I am about. Everything I do comes from the heart.
Today, give someone a hug.. Maybe a person you would not normally hug, and if you are feeling real gifty, a complete stranger, just share a little of yourself, just because.
Smooches
No comments:
Post a Comment