"Capricorn Season"

There was a time when everything seemed so simple

The lines were real fine, blind, with no wrinkles

 

All eyes on me, but you still can't see your image

Prayer, spells, and wishing you well will not repair the damage

You took a chance on a zero cause

Sealed your fate, put you on a permanent pause

All because your ego had you in a Kung-Fu grip

Couldn't see past your own thoughts

You let the wrong words pass your lips

Now what the Moon concealed the Sun will shine bright

All things done in the dark will finally see the light.

Enjoy the Season!  Thank you all for your continuous love and support!💖💖💋

Lavidus

I will be celebrating my birthday starting right now!  I have so much to be thankful for and much more to celebrate.  "Do not let the world choose who you are or who you become." LLW😍😍😃😁

If you are feeling generous this season, hit the donate button on your right or send me a gift.  I am sending you back all the love you can handle. 💓💓

Ride the Wave

Just Checking In......

Life happens in waves and if you can navigate those waves, life gets easier and you have a clearer understanding of why it all had to happen.  You learn to go on with a new attitude and leave those things that no longer serve you behind.   It gets easier to leave those things behind and move towards those things that feel good.  Those things that actually add to your happiness, are the only things that really matter.

When you get to a certain stage in life, everyone can't go with you. There are doors and chapters that will be closed forever.  Everyone will not be happy for you and everyone will not have a place in your future.   Some roads you must travel alone in order to get the full view of what this road may have just for you.  Everyone may not understand your path in the first place, so it is not up to them to determine your worth.  This is your life.  This is your gift, what are you going to do with it?

There is power in knowing who you are.  Power in knowing about the abilities that exist in us all.  We won't all have the same lessons to learn, and we won't all have the same experiences, but we all can come together and move mountains.   Imagine competing and comparing yourself to someone who does not even have the same purpose as you.  What a waste.  When you are able to dive into who you are and expose those parts of yourself that you won't even look at, there's a level of freedom that becomes a part of your existence when you can fully accept yourself. You may even wonder what took you so long to get to this place or wonder why it had to be you or wonder why your life is this way.  Well, none of that really matters.  What matters is that you are able to find yourself at every stage of your life, get lost, find yourself, get lost again and discover yourself. Get lost and love every part of it.  

One of the most unfortunate things in life is not being able to live in your truth.  Some of us, some of them, some of U’s are living but not really having the ability to live.  Loving without really having the ability to be loved.  Existing but not really feeling anything.   It all becomes empty emotions on repeat because those fictitious feelings become real and you hold on to the parts that you thought you needed.  Learn to release and let it all go.  Life is but a dream, so just learn to step back and ride the wave. 

Lavidus

"A person who doesn’t live in their truth can never make you happy.” LLW

Photo Credit: Waves

See Ya' Soon!

Thank you for your part in making my dream of being an author and podcaster remain true,  it means more than I can express.  I am taking time off for some serious self-care and to grieve the loss of my mom.

Please feel free to continue to listen to my podcast and visit my blog. During this time your support and donations will be more than appreciated.  I love and honor you as listeners and readers, so stay tuned the best is yet to come.  

Enjoy the seasons of life and you will hear from me soon.💝💥💋❤

Be Kind. Be Safe. Be Love.💕✨🎉

Lavidus

Donations/Gifts:

CASHAPP: $LLWalton88

VENMO: @LLWalton

PAYPAL: @LLWalton

If you would like to reach out, email me at

relationshiptalkpodcast@gmail.com. It would be pleasing to read some kind words. ❤️

Click the link on the right and get one of my books as a stocking stuffer! 🎄🎄

Photo credit: Enjoy this article!   Black Women & Self Care

#2023 TheTakeOver

"Relationships"

Does your relationship suck? Are you happy?  Are you satisfied or are you just going through the motions?   What kind of relationship are you in right now? Here we are, we have chosen to co-exist in his conflict of personalities, although we have the approval of our friends and society, we are miserable. Or here we are and we have made it so far, there is no one I'd rather be with than you. What is your reality?

There are several different types of relationships, some work and some do not.  Most relationships are based on the agreement of two people to be faithful,  to just have sex with each other, and to hold hands in public.  Others are more conspicuous, they never show public affection, and are insanely jealous but are in an open relationship.  Whatever works, right?  Who defines your relationship? Is it better to hold on to comfort because it's familiar or is it too costly to take a risk on what you really want?

Relationships fall into one of three categories, or maybe all three.  If there are other categories, please chime in, I would love to know your status.  

1. We have been together so long that we are no longer lovers, just friends.  The love is there, but not really.  At this point, it will be too hard to start over and no one puts up with my shit better than you. Although the kids are grown and we are still together this relationship has been over for a very long time and I am just waiting on you to get hit by a bus, Love you.

2.  I love you, but my feelings have changed. I would tell you but the divorce will be too costly and the image we have created together will crumble.  So we will continue to pretend as if we are happy, just like our friends. How embarrassing it would be for our marriage to not last longer than theirs?  I will just have a small affair every now and again and pretend I don't know about your shenanigans and we'll come together on special occasions, and holidays, ok? 

3. It's always new.  You look at each other and you are able to bring out that same fire from day one.  You have had your bad days and you have had your good days, but you have always had each other, so the storms have never been lonely.  People can feel the love between the two of you and it makes them happy.   You give, you serve and you love each other and it shows.

Relationships are always what you make them.  You choose the person, and the time you spend.  Love is whatever you say it is, that definition is up to you.   Relationships help to define us, change us, and to make us better.  Hopefully, you are in a relationship that brings out the best in you even when you are not feeling your best.  Hopefully, you are in a relationship that makes you feel like the greatest, even when you do feel great.  If you are not in a fulfilling relationship, hopefully, you have the courage to change it.  Be with someone who you can completely be naked with, with your clothes on.  Find that love, be that love and you cannot go wrong.

Peace & Love

Teena Marie- Square Biz  💚💚💋Happy Friday!!

Lavidus

Intentional Living

Are you living your life with intention or are you on auto-pilot?  Are you doing the same thing every day, with no variation to the program?  Does your environment support your health?  Why do we live so vicariously through people who are living fake lives instead of honoring and recognizing those who are innovators, the rebellious, the thinkers, and the doers?  The creators, the people who are truly in touch with themselves and unattached to outcomes.  How intentionally are you living?

Every day I wake up, I am grateful, but often I have no real plan and I don't have it all figured out.  I only hope to check off a few things from my to-do list and enjoy my day.  I used to give myself a lot to people, situations, jobs and often found myself with little to give myself.   Once I decided to change that, I began to see the true nature of those people who benefited from my kindness.  It made me even more aware of how much I gave of myself with little in return.  One thing I know about givers is they never really expect anything, they find joy in someone else's joy, but they also can get exhausted and resentful if given to the wrong people or situations.  I decided to go inside and find the core of what I am about and why a lot of things just had to be.  I had to be betrayed to find my strength.  I had to make a few bad decisions to find a better way.  

When you go on that journey of self-discovery you find out a little about who you are each day.  Each day you build on that and become stronger in who you are and in what you believe.  Knowing yourself is essential to healthy living, essential to those necessary boundaries, and essential to how you decide to proceed through life. Each day we decide if it will be a  continuation of the previous day or a whole new day to do something different.  It is always our decision.  If there are any distractions, obstacles, or unexpected things that come up throughout the day, take a moment to think about how you will handle them.  

 

How much time are you spending doing exactly what you want to do?  How often are you in the presence of people who uplift, accept, and love you just as you are?  You do not have to be anyone else but yourself to receive love,  have success, and anything else you want in this world.  But first, accept who you are.  Accept the shitty parts of yourself, as well as the great.  

Self-acceptance is very powerful because it takes away the judgment of others and it forces them to accept what's different and it forces you to stand in that power.  Oftentimes, it also forces those who oppose you to either look at themselves and their actions and accept who they are or fall deeper into the abyss of self-denial. Again, you choose.  

 Life becomes a simple place to exist when you are intentional with your thoughts and actions.  Not only are you aware of what you are doing, but you are also creating your desired outcome. When you are taking care of yourself, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually you are also helping taking care of others. When you spend an exorbitant about of time thinking about what someone else is doing, stalking, gossiping, and complaining, you are taking away from yourself and voluntarily giving up your power to people who barely even think of you.

Aaliyah- At Your Best ( You Are Love)💝💝💖

Peace & Love

Lavidus

Open Mind

Do you have an open mind?  Do you see things clearly or as you want them to be?  Can you accept opinions and beliefs that differ from yours without any judgment?    Do we all need to be doing and saying the same things in order to make progress?   I value your difference.  I don't need you to always understand where I am coming from, just respect the difference.   I enjoy hearing opinions that are different from mine because it offers the opportunity to learn something new.  I hold no preconceived notions other than the character that an individual may present to me.  How open are you to accepting the things that you do not understand?

It is natural for us to judge. Our mind requires us to come to some conclusions about how we engage and it helps us to create our perception of who we are engaging with.  How willing are you to put all your restraining beliefs behind you and accept the difference of the person you are judging.  Are you open enough to allow a person to introduce themselves before you cast them in a category based on your experience?

Having an open mind means you are willing to consider other perspectives or at least try new experiences.   An open mind can be the introduction to a whole new world.   A person who does not know how far they can go because they limit themselves will not expect you to go any further than what they can conceive.  Our limitations are not always intentional. Some are programmed, others are chosen and some are not even aware of their limits or can understand how a person can be limitless.

We are all subject to our beginnings. Within that beginning are conditions and those conditions help develop who we are, what we believe, and how we think. It has been made impossible for us to all be the exact same. You can have six siblings who grew up in the same household, and each one will have a different perception of what that experience was.  We are all in the same household sharing a different experience and somewhere in all of who you are, in who we are, lies the gift.  That gift is recognizing who you are and what you bring to the world. You are important, you are important and you are very important.   People have a tendency to believe that importance and monetary value are the same and it is not.  There are people with a lot less who are more willing to give you the shirt off their backs and give you some of what they have because no matter what their experience has been, they are not so out of touch with the human experience and are still able to give.

When you do not have an open mind and are not open to new experiences you are choosing to practice a form of ignorance.   Imagine judging someone who has experienced life differently than you. A person who has gained and experienced life through their own personal lens and you judge them and call them ignorant because you do not understand.  How would you feel to be judged by what you don’t know, instead of who you really are?  Everyone will not wake up, and that is part of their purpose.

 

Life is pretty simple.  We all want to be loved, accepted, and respected.  For a moment forget about race, forget about time, forget about all the injustices of the world and just love someone today. Forgive someone today. Be sweet and kind because it's free.  We are all experiencing this battle for our souls. This urgent buildup of something new, this breakthrough, this new way of existing, and believe me, it's here.    Open your mind and visualize what you want to see in the world and be just that.  

Chaka Khan-Angel

Peace & Love

Lavidus

Celebrity Knews!

If you listen to my podcast you will know that I rarely talk about current events.  I rarely talk about celebrities or politicians or comment on too many fluff stories.  Some are just characters playing their part in the world, designed for a specific purpose and some are not.  I have noticed a slight trend that will soon affect you and me.   How important is it to be able to say what you want to say?  What if your opinion is offensive to a group of people or a religion, should you not be able to have or share that opinion?  What if you wore your opinion on a t-shirt?  When practicing your free speech, should you be banned and shut down or honored and respected?  

A few recent events have piqued my interest in the celebrity world.  Let’s begin with Andrew Tate, (who oooozzeess confidence among other things) who has been banned from all social media outlets because of his opinion on women or was he speaking facts?   Are these the same social media outlets that will only show my videos if I show some ass, or expose some cleavage or do some really dumb shit, you mean all of a sudden care about women?  Do you mean to tell me the social media outlets that shadowban, and that has a debilitated algorithm really care about women?   Oh ok. 

Let's move on to Kanye "Genius" West, who apparently said something anti-semitic, and was banned from all social media outlets. He must have said something that was true because if it was a lie, why protect it so much?    These news outlets speak lies all day every day and no one has shut them down.  Why?    I am not one to force-feed you information, and hold your hand and lead you to the promised land, we have several other people for that. However, I do believe Kanye has planted a seed, what are you going to do with it?  

Are we slowly approaching the dismantling of our free speech?  Your opinion does not matter unless it supports the current agenda.    Everybody is offended and wants to cry about a long gone past when we should be focused on the here and now.  "The future is not promised, but it is there for the taking."   When people can be shut down for speaking an opinion in the form of truth, then you just may be next.   To those who are offended about everything, you need some healing.   You shouldn't be allowing a person's words to control how you feel about yourself. This particular paradigm is made to keep you in a low vibrational state.  It's designed to keep you experiencing things that make you feel, sad, lonely, and hopeless and it is currently clashing with the higher frequency that is already here.  So the truth has to be told. The truth has to rise to the surface and if you are on the right side of truth, you will too. 

Andrew Tate and Kanye West are just a few examples of people getting shut down for speaking what they know to be the truth.  Are these social media outlets really protecting us, or preventing us from knowing the truth?  They have given us this drug and now since we are addicted and can use it to our advantage, you want to take it away or control how we use it.  That's not what drug dealers do.  Well, maybe we should just get off the drug, start detoxing right now and put social media on a skinny diet because we are the people that hold the power of their existence, not the other way around.

 In this modern world, you should be able to voice your opinion and your beliefs, without anyone getting offended because you can either agree or disagree.  Why should I hold my tongue because you are not mature enough to accept an opinion that is in contrast to yours?  Why should I not share what my experience is, because you have not experienced it?   If you want me to believe in your dubious stand for me, remind me of my resistance, strength, and the uniqueness of my DNA.  Constantly reminding me that my ancestors were slaves, or that we were victims of brutality, and treated unfairly is not empowering.  I can turn on the news for that.  Stop watching movies that do not reflect where you are going.  It's one thing to be entertained, but if you would notice, do you really need to be constantly reminded of the past?  The past is dead and gone.

 Is Andrew Tate really as misogynistic as they say he is, for being what he believes is a man?   Is Kanye West so wrong for saying who he believes are the real Jews?  He is not being any more offensive than the people who pretend they are black.  Pay attention.   Keep empowering yourselves with the truth, because it does set you free.  Continue to watch what is being said and who is saying it.  As things become more convoluted, even more things will become clear, because nothing is what it seems, including me.

Kanye West-Flashing Lights   

Peace & Love

Lavidus

When It's Good to You, But Not Good for You

Greetings Beautiful People....💋💜💛💚

Owwww have you ever had something that was so good to you but not good for you?  Why is it that the hardest people and things to let go of are the things that provide us with the greatest high, but just simply is not good?  Things that we have to sneak to get it or that are tempting just feel better when we get them, right?  Whether it's people, places, or things,  re we really addicted, is that forbidden fruit that appealing? Or is it just something that we need to experience in order to get to where we need to be?

I used to love this man.  At least I thought I loved him,  I loved what he did with his magic wand.  I loved how he could maneuver around my body.  I loved how he could conquer and revive, ya know what I mean?  Had me completely blind to the facts.  But silly me, those were moments that I thought it was love.  He knew exactly what it really was because that's how he operated.  I thought well damn, it can't be this good with everybody?   Turns out it wasn't but he didn't find that out until he left and tried to come back.  Anyway... It didn't matter how good or bad it was, he was serving it up like hotcakes during Sunday Brunch. He was spreading it around like almond butter with all the nuts.   I could have easily chosen to continue to be blind, but what it was and what it wasn't became even more and more obvious and neither of us could not ignore the facts. .  He belonged over there and I belonged up there. We were on different shelves of life and I didn't have time for him to catch up. And besides, just because he looks the part, does not mean he knows the part.   

One more donut is good to you but may not be good for you.

One more night might be good to you, but may not be good for you.

Telling that lie might sound good to you, but in the long run, may not be good for you.

I know we all have experienced something that was so so bad but felt so so good, temporarily.  But for the love of ourselves, in order to keep our sanity and self-respect, we must let go of those relationships that only provide moments of happiness and years of despair. Let go of that job that seems to just drains you and keeps you from what you really want.  Letting go of that one-sided love, letting go of living an unfulfilled life.  I know that toxic shit can feel so good, temporarily.  But once you fully let go, you'll realize it wasn't the toxic shit that felt good, it was what you imagined it to be, you kept being disappointed by what you hoped it to be.  You created your own disappointment by believing something that you knew wasn't true.   There is strength in our lessons so don't be afraid of making mistakes, it's your chance to change and be honest with who you really are.   Learn to love yourself enough to know when something is good to you, but not good for you. 

Chocolate Love- Sanura & Raheem DeVaughn

Peace & Love

Lavidus

Are You A Compliment or Insult?

 Does the person in your life compliment you?  Are they a true representation of who you are and what you love for?   One person may look at your relationship and not understand the connection, but see the love. Another may not see the love, but understand why you are together.  I believe when it comes to choosing partners, lovers, wives, etc. you should be able to compliment each other, not just physically, but spiritually as well.   Whomever you decide to lock it down with, that person represents a part of you.  Look at the person you love, the person you are married to, or the person you are dating.   Yes, that's how you feel inside.  So, are you a compliment or an insult?  

Would you want someone to tell you you're the best, even when you are not?   Or would you want to be accepted and loved just as you are, flaws and all?   When you compliment someone you are also complimenting yourself, you are acknowledging yourself in them. There is no way you can be in a relationship with someone and not see parts of yourself, whether you like those parts or not, that person you have chosen represents a part of who you are.   If someone is acknowledging that you are not the best or the most intelligent, they are also acknowledging that in themselves.   If someone is loving you, accepting you, and giving you all they got, it's because they have that love within themselves to give. You cannot see (yourself) something in someone else and not acknowledge it in yourself.

Make me believe that I am exceptional from the rest, or make me feel special and not just someone you can get because you can not get anyone else.  What people fail to understand is love does not require you to lie to make the other person feel better about themselves.  Love does not require you to validate the unstable actions and mental state of someone who is truly incapable of maintaining a healthy relationship, because now you're married.  One of the sweetest things about love is you do not have to be too much of anything to receive it.   You do not have to be the best at anything.  You don't have to be perfect.  You just have to be able to share and reciprocate and be the yang to my yin.

Are you brave enough to love who you love?   Does the man or woman in your life compliment you?  People often say that life is short and time waits on no one, but there are millions of people living in relationships that they regret, being misrepresented by the person they love.  They won't even walk down the street and hold your hand, because they have made up their mind that you do not represent them.   Make sure you are with someone who truly represents who you are and who can love all sides of you. You do not want someone who will just compliment you behind closed doors.

Peace & Love

Lavidus

Please Don't Date Me-100 More Reasons Why (AudioBook)

Don't Affirm, Accept.

We all have these fantastic journeys that we are traveling.  These journeys we call life, we don't always have all the answers, nor do we always have it all figured out.  Some of us are able to ride the wave and manage this thing called life and others not so much.  When you resist, life gets complicated.  In order to cope and to make ourselves feel better, one of the ways we confirm our existence is through

 affirmations.  We affirm what we want, we affirm who we are, and we affirm who we aspire to be.  I am worthy.  I am strong.  I am somebody, but are you really?   During this episode, I explore the idea of accepting ourselves where we are first before we affirm who we want to be. 

I am on my own journey of self-love and self-discovery and it has not always been easy or nice.  I am not perfect by any means, but I always seek what I believe to be right and just.  Earlier in my life, some of my decisions were made based on my lack of confidence and on what was safe. I wasn't aware of the safety net that I had created for myself which also stunting my growth.  I was not always allowing myself to flow.  I was affirming "I am open to receive..blah blah blah..all that is divinely mine blah, blah, blah.  Affirming, but not willing to take the risk.  Believing, but not really ready to step out of faith.  I had to check myself and align myself with the words that were coming out of my mouth.  I had to enjoy, relax and accept myself at the stage I was at and then confirm with conviction who I was becoming.

Before you start affirming to what you want next or what you want to become, accept where you are right now.  Accept not being exactly where you want to be or who you want to be.   Accept your imperfections and what you don't like, and be open to making changes for your highest good.  This love thing is not about getting to a point where you have reached all these goals or made this much money, it's about accepting and knowing who you are before you get there.   You are who you are and your path is designed for you and you only.   Don't start looking in the mirror when you get a new outfit, or when you get those nails done, look at yourself right now.  Appreciate who you are and how far you've come at this very moment.  Once you do, whatever you want next is on the way.

Peace & Love

Lavidus

Please Don't Date Me-100 More Reasons Why (AudioBook)

Give Me...

Give Me

A man that makes me salivate from his intelligence and who gives

good brains

Play with my heart he'll never do, and I'll do the same.

Give Me

A moment with you to look into your eyes

So we can share our souls until we grow old and never die

Give Me

Your hand and walk with me, please

Let me walk through your mind, relax your shoulders

And put it all at ease

Give Me

One shot to show you what I've got

Do you have the time?  Because I got time, no one's lookin' at the clock

Give me 

The worried, the sad, and the unforgiven

And I'll show you that forgiveness is available to everyone who's livin'

Although you can't give me what I already have

It's up to me you and you to realize what it is we have within ourselves

Give Me

Your love and I will give it back

We are all here together, so stand strong, love hard and give it all you've got!

Lavidus

Decisions...

We all go through life making decisions that determine our fate.  It becomes something else when we make decisions to determine someone else's fate.  Some people tend think that they have this power over of the lives of other people and none over their own.  They do things to alter other people perception like telling lies or starting rumors that are untrue, not realizing that it was all a set-up for their exposure.  The cesspool of low vibrational beings is growing and growing and soon they will all fall in.  For those who live in a perpetual hell of their own thoughts and actions, for those who fail to do the work, for those who harbor feelings of jealousy, self-hate, and do not have the ability to love themselves, your lessons will be long and hard, and you'll remember the decision that got you there.  

You never have to worry about people who spend time doing ill things in secret and people who have ill intentions because it will all come to an end. So you stay focused on yourself, on your goals and on what you want to do in this world.  The cowards will turn on each other and you will find the mole among you, but it will be too late.  For those of you who have found comfort in your dark dealings, the light is on the way.   You should always know who and what you are dealing with when you decide to go to war.  You should also know who your opponent is, do some research because some of you obviously had no clue.  But I am sure right now at this very moment you just caught a clue, but again it's too late.

Every single day I wake up, I choose my day.  Every day I make the decision that this is the greatest day of my life and whatever happens it will be handled with ease.   I live in that energy and I live with those thoughts because I am the alchemist.  I understand now that I am the creator and anyone spending time with me in their thoughts, then they are adding to my elevation. It does not matter what you do, it's what I do and how I respond to what you do.   Are you ready to receive in full what you've dished out?  I hope it was a whole lot of love. Manage your thoughts and you will learn how to manage people and use their negative energy to create positive results.

Make the decision to no longer accept anyone's bullshit no matter who they are and what part they play in your life.  Especially if they made the decision to go against you, leave them where they left you.  Once you let go of those titles you can see the snakes and they can no longer hide. I have had a few eye-opening experiences.  Experiences that have let me know the extent people will go to interfere with your path.  People can be really dismissive when they want you to believe that you are the nobody.  They would not be doing all of what they do if you were not somebody.  No one bothers people who they think are nobodies.  It's usually the nobodies who are trying to emulate the somebody's.  You are somebody, so keep going, keep living just how you please and leave the rest.

Peace & Love

Lavidus

Hello September!

Hello September!

Glad you're finally here

August went by so fast that at midnight it disappeared

Oh September, I know you plan to bring the heat

The calm before the storm in these esoteric streets

The shift they say has taken place

Who cares?  If you don't have what it takes

Can you survive this mental plane with all these mental games?

Confusion is the name, and division it's still the same

No longer in a circle

Decisions have to be made

Verbal intelligence sound frame

Just call me Erkel

Love will soothe the heart and rule a nation unseen

Touch you in familiar places go beyond what is green

Create a land the vast majority can't even see

They look in the mirror as a reflection, the blueprint is you and me

Oh September, here you are again and again and again and again times three

And Still, I may ask

Will they forget all the pleasantries and get down to the facts?

Thank you, September for being here once more

May you reveal all that needs to be seen 

And restore some peace and joy

Bring unity, strength, and a warrior mindset

To those who can handle what is true so that we all never forget

We will push through with tenacity, and compassion and never give in or quit

You can have anything you want, just clear your mind and imagine it.

Peace & Love

Lavidus

Phenomenal Woman

Phenomenal Woman

BY MAYA ANGELOU

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.

I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size   

But when I start to tell them,

They think I’m telling lies.

I say,

It’s in the reach of my arms,

The span of my hips,   

The stride of my step,   

The curl of my lips.   

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,   

That’s me.

I walk into a room

Just as cool as you please,   

And to a man,

The fellows stand or

Fall down on their knees.   

Then they swarm around me,

A hive of honey bees.   

I say,

It’s the fire in my eyes,   

And the flash of my teeth,   

The swing in my waist,   

And the joy in my feet.   

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered   

What they see in me.

They try so much

But they can’t touch

My inner mystery.

When I try to show them,   

They say they still can’t see.   

I say,

It’s in the arch of my back,   

The sun of my smile,

The ride of my breasts,

The grace of my style.

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

Now you understand

Just why my head’s not bowed.   

I don’t shout or jump about

Or have to talk real loud.   

When you see me passing,

It ought to make you proud.

I say,

It’s in the click of my heels,   

The bend of my hair,   

the palm of my hand,   

The need for my care.   

’Cause I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

Poetry Foundation

Maya Angelou, “Phenomenal Woman” from And Still I Rise. Copyright © 1978 by Maya Angelou. Used by permission of Random House, an imprint and division of Penguin Random House LLC. All rights reserved.

Why Your Husband Prefers Her

Your husband prefers her for several reasons, but I'll just share a few. This is not a post to glorify men who cheat on their loving committed wives. Noo, this is a perspective that is often overlooked.  Just a short trip down an untraveled road.  People get into relationships and marriages without even being on the same page.  One might see it as a matter of convenience or a lapse in sound judgment and the other just might be deeply in love.  One may see it as an opportunity and an easy cover-up and the other may see it as a come-up.  You really never know until shit starts to go south.  But just in case you are wondering, I'll share with you a few reasons why I believe your hubby may prefer her.

Number One. Things just are not the same.  You got married for whatever reasons, and it had nothing to do with love, but you wanted to do what's right.   Or maybe it had more to do with timing than love. You felt like it was time and anyone would do.  Anyone that would say yes, will be considered the one.  Anyone that you could convince that what you both were feeling is really love.  The plan worked, you got married and you find out that you don't even know the person you married and it was downhill from there.  The only way out is into another person.  This person may help ease the reality of your chosen existence, so you get addicted to the feeling of that reality so much so that you can't let go.

Number Two. It's Easier.  They don't argue, and she doesn't ask for anything, so he gives her all he got.  Every time they are together it is a great time of conversation.  She never complains, and only gives her opinion if asked.  All she does is listen.  All she does is everything you used to, all the time. You used to hang on to every word he said, then you started to complain.  Then he was never enough.  Then he couldn't do anything right.  Then he found solace on her breast.  Then he found his peace.  Then he can't hear you anymore.  Then he mentally moves on.

Number Three. He prefers her because she allows him to be himself.  She is not looking to judge him and accepts all of him.  He doesn't have to prove or be anything other than what he is.  Every time he showed you a little bit of himself, you cut him down for the last time, so he never went there again.   He wanted to share his innermost feelings, but you had no interest.  You couldn't let go of his past mistakes so you intentionally made his future miserable.  Now you are mad because he choose her. Angry because his peace doesn't include you.  In dismay because you have crushed his feelings so much that he no longer cares about yours. 

Number four. He might just be in love.  The heart wants what it wants and sometimes there is no denying who that is.  He thought you were the one and he did all the right things, but the heart does not lie.  He thought you were the better choice and fit the profile of life, but the strife you caused made his heart turn sour. Those are just a few reasons why your husband may prefer her.  Everyone's situation is different, take what resonates.   I believe love conquers all and any relationship can be saved if both parties believe that it's worth it.

Peace & Love

Lavidus

I didn't Know What Love Was

I didn't know what love was until you walked into my life

A lover, a friend, made me forget that old life

You opened me up to new galaxies, took me on so many trips

I can never return back to who I was, you my love are a gift

I didn't know what love was until you accepted me through and through

Touched me in places with no hands, baby it had to be you

Carved a place in my heart so deep that we both fell in

Gave new meaning to love, an embrace that will never end

I didn't know what love was until you saw me at my worst

Lifted me up and carried me on your back, until I could stand alone

Never judged, just loved me until I found my own

I didn't know what love was until you showed me the way

Day or night, strong or weak you are here to stay

I tried to be brave and not need you at all

But you made it Ok, for me to fall

I didn't know what love was until you loved me anyway

Stood up for this love and without any delay

You become all I ever wanted so my heart can rest today

Knowing that you have me in every single way

I didn't know what love was until you told me and then showed me

So tonight, I will lay close to you, so I can hear your heartbeat

Knowing that we purposely choose each other as we sleep

I didn't know what love was until I saw it in your eyes

Each moment has led to this kiss and you between my thighs

I didn’t know what love was and now that I do, my heart is yours and I’ll be forever be true.

Lavidus

Is Your Perception Reality?

Have you ever been mistaken for something else? Have you ever been mistaken for someone else?  Have you ever been underestimated or taken for granted?  Has anyone ever judged you based on someone else's opinion?  Has anyone ever given you your opinion?  Many years ago in a semi-heated debate, someone said to me that perception is reality and no matter how you perceive yourself there is someone else who will always perceive you differently.  So, the question becomes who's perception is the truth?  (Especially, when you don't know who you are.) Is it what they see or what you see?  Is there any truth in someone else's perception?

I had my first job working in human resources as an HR Assistant.  I was coming from the property management industry, so I was excited about the opportunity.  The HR director who was also my direct report, upon our first meeting, made a few assumptions about me.   Although she hired me for the job, she wasn't sure if I could do the job.  (Side note: Have you ever been hired to do a job and you do the job so well, that now you're a threat?  You guys know how the work playground goes, it can be worst than high school.) Anyway,  Not only did I do my job well, but we also ended up being pseudo friends for a long period of time.  And she even shared the fact that she misjudged me because of what I looked like. I am often misjudged and I never take it personally, because I am also a surprise.  Another person's perception of you is none of your business unless it is aligned with who you are at that period of time.  People often evolve and change into people that we do not know, so be clear about who you are addressing, when you are addressing people behind those closed doors.  I understand that there is no way you can sum someone up accurately without getting to know them personally and even then, there are parts you will never know.

People make assumptions all the time. Sometimes they are right and sometimes they are wrong.  When assessing someone base it on your own facts.  I do not care how much experience you think you may have, there is always someone you can not figure out.  What you think about someone does not automatically become their reality, that is your reality, those are your thoughts.  Just because you think someone is a loser, does not mean that they are.  Just because you think someone is not worthy of the life they lead, not only is it not your business, but you do not know what they have been through to get where they are.   Maybe you think highly of someone, who really is a piece of shit.  I did once.  When your perception gets replaced with another truth, will you accept it? 

 Too many are trying to play God in other people's lives based on perceptions and low vibrational intentions.  Why waste your time?   Spending too much time trying to create storylines that will never exist, is bad for your health when they appear in your life.  It's time to heal that part of you that you haven't accepted.  The part that requires validation at any cost.  The price is already too high, so if you do not make the decision to face your own demons and heal the parts of yourself that have you bound, you will eventually be permanently stuck, paying that price for life. 

Is your perception reality?  Do you have a firm grip on your existence?  Do you know who and what you are?  Or have you tucked your mirror in your back pocket?  Your perception may be limited by your lack of experience or your willingness to be blind to the truth.   Are you open enough to see what's right in front of you?  You are creating your reality every day, just make sure your perception is your reality.

Lavidus

Deception-A Short Story

I am not in the business of condoning bad behavior but I must tell you the story of  Miss Sandra Dolls.  She was on the high end of the intelligent meter and a sociopath by nature.  She was clever and unsuspecting to both men and women who were often blinded and intrigued by her irresistible charm.  Anyone who tried to get into her energy would suffer the consequences of internal torture from attacks of their own mental imbalance.  She was not the one to fuck with, but you would not know that unless you tried.

Her husband was her King and so was her boyfriend.  The best lover she ever had was a pool girl from Italy.  She had no shame in her game and was an open book, so when it came to deception, she never took it lightly.  She would go to the end of the world for those she loved and would end the lives of those who came against her especially if it was without cause.   Damon was the love of her life and although he opened her up in ways that she could not return from, he also created a beast that he could not control.    Damon made her understand that being attached to someone is a weakness.  You would often find him saying things like "Love is a fallacy to compromise your heart and your ability to think clearly" or something like "Sex is only important if the people are.", so she always took notes. 

The summer heat was smoldering over her brown skin as she lay in the unrelenting sun by her diamond-shaped pool.  Damon approached her with her favorite drink and a proposition.  He was such a good provider, but a horrible negotiator.   She was curious as to what he had in mind.  Of course, he wanted another lover.  Normally, that would not be a problem, lovers come and go.  But she knew he was asking for a lover that he already had, and that was a violation of their trust and with all violations, an ending must occur.  She listened to his proposition while already knowing the outcome.  She would approve the union with a smile. 

She took a moment to reflect and felt quite despondent.  She could not comprehend why he would forget such a detrimental agreement.  Everyone knew that making the decision to become Ms. Dolls' adversary was always a deadly mistake.    Enemies relied heavily on the need for their perception to be correct while ignoring what is the truth.  Their ignorance leads the way and their arrogance always allows them to fall into her traps.    She took a moment to think about how she could save her husband, (this was husband number five) but that thought was short-lived.  A deceptive heart is unforgivable and his choice had been made.  Deep into the night when Damon was preparing to tell his lover the great news, he opened the door and to his surprise, Sandra's had his lover in a position that he had never seen before. 

Lavidus