How to know when You're Slummin'

A few years ago I had my first slumming experience. It was fun and exciting, but I knew that it would be short-lived. For those of you who do not know what slumming is or is confused about how it relates to you, please let me explain. Slumming is when you are with a guy or a girl who you have nothing in common with, you're not even on the same intellectual level. You may even say that being with this person is dating beneath your "normal standards". You would have committed a slumming faux pas if you are ever seen in public. People would wonder how you two are together, how the hell did that happen, or what is she doing with him or her? There is no real connection except that the sex is insane, which is ultimately the glue that keeps you together.

Let me give you some examples, Janet was slumming when she got with Jermaine Dupri. I mean, the boy likes strippers and lesbians, good for a moment, but not a lifetime. Tiger Woods was slumming when he got with plenty of the miscellaneous hood rats from all over the U.S. He took slumming on a whole 'nother level. Jesse James was slumming when he cheated on Sandra Bullock with that tattoo chick. This slum act can be contested because he actually is still with this tattoo chick and that may constitute him as just slum himself. (And they too have since broke up.)  Bill Clinton was slumming when he let Monica Lewinsky give him that blow job.(Talk about dicks that will make you famous...lol).

During my slum expedition my family was damn near in an uproar. They were confused and sad. They thought I would fall in love, have a baby and marry this fool. That was the last thing from my mind. He served a purpose and at that moment that was all I needed. My mistake was letting them know who he was. Of course, when you have a family that see you as this college educated little innocent girl,(no matter how old I get) who likes having a boyfriend and is easily persuaded to do things that I would not normally do; they went into panic mode. This guy was not what they wanted for me; and I just wanted one thang, I mean thing.:) Aahhhhhhh family. They have no idea about the man eater I really am ("I am the envy of all women and I rule the men". ERYKAH BADU) and I do nothing to dispel their idea of me.  Any who.

A man will often slum more than a woman. Although we have our moments of weakness for men who are clearly not good for us, it takes time for us to get there, it has to be a phase or something. A moment in time that we allow ourselves to be and do something outside the norm. For me, I just needed a young man that could go the distance, keep up and then shut up! Men, however, tend to actually go after the slum chick, they are easy, available and will do anything. (i.e. Kat Stacks). She usually looks less attractive then the girlfriend or the wife and has nothing going for herself but maybe a fat ass and ummmmm well, a fat ass. Some men do not care how many and who has went up in that before them, they just want a piece of the pie (Kanye West).

O.k now that you have been edjumacated, I am sure you have a clear understanding of what slumming is. It's nothing bad, and although you will be judged harshly for it, try not to let it ruin your life. There is hope after slumming, you can move on and get a man that actually is more your speed like Janet did. She is now with a tall billionaire, that is so yummy. Yes, an upgrade was definitely in order. You can get that boyfriend that you often dream of in your head, he is out there. As women we have the power to get any man on the planet. Ladies, please recognize that power! And men don't underestimate it! And for men and women alike, try not to make slumming a everyday  life long thing, because being a slummer is really not a good look. It perpetuates insecurity and you will be inviting a long life of drama.

As some people often do, like, you totally would not want to marry one (in my valley girl voice).

Peace and Everlasting Love, Ya'll

Marriage Made in Heaven?

I often wonder about the institution of marriage these days. Where has all the love gone? These days it seems that marriage means, "Let me see how much bullshit I can throw your way before we decide to get a divorce". Or maybe it just means as long as I have someone to lie next to at night,who cares how dirty they are.

I see there are a lot of things that a person can go throw in a marriage that I simply do not think that I am built for. For instance, finding out that my husband is really gay, being cheated on numerous times or even being lied to.  Fathering other children, or having an "open" relationship. I am not sure those are things that God intended for marriage to be. It is a license that says you will be with me no matter what, I will love respect and honor you as my husband or wife and we will do our best to keep it together. I do not think that involves other people, but yet, people who are married participate in the swingers lifestyle. Sharing or swapping wives and or husbands, like it was placed in their vows.

I see husbands and wives cheating left and right. I see children being affected by it all. I see insecure women holding on to something that is not there anymore, just to say that they have a husband, is misery that important? Is the "look" of marriage more important than what it really is suppose to mean?  I see men putting up with disrespect from their wives and taking on lesbian lovers.  If that is what is the "norm" these days in marriage, then I'll pass.

 I probably won't ever get married because I am just too old fashioned. I believe a man should provide for his family. I believe in loyalty. I am liberal enough to know that the roles may change, but the rules still apply. There are rules you go by when you decide to get married. Rules, that are often broken so much, that you have to makeup more rules to accommodate the ones that were broken. I believe they should also share some responsibilities, whatever those responsibilities are should be decided between the two.It saddens me when I see a woman professing her love for her husband when her husband has others. Does she know? Is she putting on a front? Maybe they have an understanding.  the decision has been made to stay in it for the kids or financial reasons.  I don't know, but I know that at some point the institution of marriage really meant something.  And if did not involve checking a person's credit score. 

I know that marriage is hard, shit having a regular relationship is hard, but I think you should never invite other people into your marriage, EVER! And when you marry for the wrong reasons, it makes it that much harder. Maybe that's why it's hard, that ole' human need that desires another is natural. It's all about control and having respect for what you have at home. Unfortunately, some people have completely lost that. The want to be needed and desired from their husbands or wives becomes the responsibility of a mistress or the pool guy.   If it's just  for a night or ten years, that need eventually gets meet, along with the violation of your marriage vows. Is it really worth it?

I can have someone in my life and never get married, that's because I believe marriage does not validate a good relationship. Maybe one day I will cross that line, maybe I won't, either way I will have a clear understanding of who I am, and who I have invited to be such an intricate part of my life.

If you are married or in a relationship that may lead to marriage, do something special tonight for your loved one. Kiss her longer, hold him tighter, let them feel your love.  Communicate what it is you want and need.   You have to keep the spark alive at any cost, because if you don't someone else will. 

Back At It!

After a wonderful night at the Mary B.Morrison venue, I went out with one of my best friends for a late night dinner.

For some reason I have this incredible ability to hear conversations that I could careless about. Maybe because I have limited vision and you know if one sense if lost the other's are increased,or at least one is, mine is hearing. (the human body is amazing) Anyway, I hear a little man talking to his homeboy commenting on me and my friend. His words were, "Yeah dating pretty women is work,they require too much,they probably lonely,no man and mad, while glaring at us. OK this is the guy that also has a woman to the left of him. No she was not the most attractive woman, and I can understand his choice, based on his comments he seems a bit immature and insecure and any other "im" or "in" you can find. The fact that he was one step from being a midget also explained his disposition. Even though I prefer a tall man,I have nothing against a short one, as long as he has it where it matters and they usually do. But this mofo was losing it in all areas, bad attitude, gossiping about women and looking like a fucking gobbler. What nerve to speak ill about any woman, I guess he knows what he will never have.

I believe men know what kind of woman they can get. They do not dream big in that area because a man will only go for what he think she can get,and believe me if you give him any inclination that there is a inkling of a possibility of getting that a man will wait and be good to you, just based on the possibility. Women, we know from the jump. We just have to take the time to find out if this mofo is crazy or not. There are those who think they can get any woman, (I love them the most). The one's that have that superman ego and think they are God's gift to all women, they gamble, and put it all on what they can do with the dick. Like one woman said "Dick is forgettable". And I must add also too easy to attain, too available and ready and hard to get rid of sometimes. You can take that gamble with me, give me your best shot and I will enjoy it for what it is, just don't call me I will call you.

My first Appearance!!

Tonight I had my first appearance introducing my first book, Please Don't Date Me-100 Reason's Why

First I would like to say thank you to Mary B.Morrison, who gave me the opportunity to introduce my book at her venue. It was very exciting and I was very nervous, so nervous that I thought I would just freeze. I have to practice speaking in front of people. The fact that I am incredibly shy in front of strangers probably showed a bit. I also forgot my business cards, duh! This was a learning experience and a clear reminder to always "be ready".

Although I am very tired tonight, my adrenaline is still flowing through my body and I am wide awake, anticipating my next move. Planning this book signing, for real and stop procrastinating is my next move. I am so excited about this new venture.

Stay tuned, it gets better.

Good Night!

He winked at Me:)

Out hanging with friends watching football, trying to stay cool from the heat. I rarely get out socially and I thought I would take advantage of the hot weather and maybe flirt with someone.

We were all at the bar talking and laughing. I told the little 25 year old that was sitting near by with the gold grill how old I was and went on to have some kind of weird conversation about cougar's and how he was a tiger or cub or maybe even a pup. Not too sure what the point was, I was a little tipsy and just passing the time.

Then there he was.

I had seem him in this place before, but made no attempt to have a conversation or make eye contact. I just thought he was some guy that just hangs out at the bar. He was very tall, very handsome and after checking him out for a while, very friendly, did I say attractive? Ok. The evening went on and then I looked up and he winked at me. A nice wink, a flirt, who knows how long it took him to actually do that. (Men don't usually say anything to me, they just stare) And what did I do? I smiled and looked away from embarrassment of being winked at. I know, I know, sounds crazy, but that's exactly what happened. I did not look at him again and then he was gone. Wow,lady Good job!

So, I am not sure what he is about or why I froze up like a still photo, but I thought about it all night. My lack of dating these days has me completely unaware of what it looks like when a man is actually interested. I have got to get out more often. My friend said that he is "good people". I am not sure what's supposed to happen after this,but I am going to go back to that bar one day, just to see if he's there, maybe I will wink at him next time.

Untimely Meeting.......

There is a certain feeling I get when I meet people from my past is trying to get into my future. It's mind blowing to me because I am not always sure why this person is here in the first place, so my brain's begin to scramble, then I can not sleep,only because the intentions that are being presented are false and I see it and feel it and I wonder why.

If you are amazed that you are in the presence of someone and find that you are experiencing unexpected pleasure then,enjoy it for what it is. It does not necessarily mean that you are suppose to be a permanent statue in someone's life. This could all be temporary, like the weather, so dress accordingly.

I feel an energy that makes me afraid. What I see and feel are in conflict and it is what I feel that must win this battle, because my eye's and ear's are deceiving me. My intuition is never wrong. My insight allows me to see what is being hidden. Have you ever listened to someone and you knew that they were bullshitting you? But you listened anyway? Yeah, that's the feeling. You look at the source and you know that this can not be, but what you feel is true so you shake hands with that enemy and send him on his way, knowing that he is not there for the benefit of you, but for his own naive selfishness. I am no fool, but you are for thinking so.

Good Night, we will see how this story unfolds.

Follow Me...If you Dare

WOW!


Last night was a blast, did some light weight promoting my book and got some pretty good reviews. Now is the time for me to say when I am doing this book launching party. It will be a celebration indeed. I guess I have been procrastinating on that a bit because I am so shy and I do not really like the spotlight that much. It really makes me nervous. But this shall be another thing that I conquer....one day:)

I am so happy right now, I am fulfilling a long time dream and I know this is just the beginning of a beautiful journey.

Peace and Love Ya'll!!!