He was what I call, "My truth".
He made me so weak when I saw him, and if he ever spoke to me I probably would faint.
He was the finest thing I ever have seen, he moved like a tiger in the woods
His kindness was in his eyes, eyes that I never wanted to meet with mine, cause I would melt into submission and let him have his way, so
It was as if he knew me, like he created me.
His smell was so deep and his lips felt like wetness and softness made a sandwich with love
His face was heavenly
I would run for cover, pretend to ignore, then stare at him. Love or Lust? With him, it's forever so this is love.
I would stage left to avoid eye contact, cause if he knew how I felt, then it would be over.
This love affair that I was havin' all by myself would no longer be
My eyes would tell his story, longing for his touch to restore me
Back to the reality of him and I, our souls will find each other in the skies
I wanted him
I needed him
It made no sense
Yet, all this I was feeling left me wit' no sense.
I would give him what he needed, whenever he needed, and that's no lie
I was powerless, but with him, I feared not
I would let him take over my body with just one kiss
Making love to my mind, until I could no longer resist
This was the beginning of forever....
I am in love.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Monday, May 12, 2008
Assumptions....
It is my destiny to be the best innovative writer on the planet. My life is a script that is being written and directed by God himself. A story that is not complete, but will begin and never have an ending. I live in the creative light. And unless you are an creative person, you cannot possibly understand the objects and scenes that cross my mind daily. I write to stay free and to not let what I know, destroy me or make me a negative person. My heart is filled with love and joy. I choose to live in the light and enjoy this gift that was given to me. Along with my many other gifts, it is writing that gives me the most pleasure. I write because it allows me to face my own truth. You can be a bull shitter in the verbal language, but writing what's true and what is filled with love pushes all bullshit aside. Walk a day in my flip-flops, 3-inch wedges or stiletto's and see how beautiful it is.
I shine. And from the looks of it, I must shine all the time, because all my life I have come across people who are so curious about what makes me tick. All you need to know is I walk with God, I write with God and God shines through me. I am a born leader.change agent, trend-setter and so on. I am the Mother of my Nature. Every freckle and mole that crosses my body, my eyes, my lips he/she orchestrated this Divine being so that I represent him or her. So this path that I am taking, this walk through life, these people I meet, those that stay and those that go, remember me; and in remembering me, please remember that I am just a vessel, it is God who made me, so take your complaints and hater tendencies to him/her.
Smooches
I shine. And from the looks of it, I must shine all the time, because all my life I have come across people who are so curious about what makes me tick. All you need to know is I walk with God, I write with God and God shines through me. I am a born leader.change agent, trend-setter and so on. I am the Mother of my Nature. Every freckle and mole that crosses my body, my eyes, my lips he/she orchestrated this Divine being so that I represent him or her. So this path that I am taking, this walk through life, these people I meet, those that stay and those that go, remember me; and in remembering me, please remember that I am just a vessel, it is God who made me, so take your complaints and hater tendencies to him/her.
Smooches
I fully enjoyed mommies day and the whole weekend as a matter of fact. Thank you all for all the love. I was really hung over and was texting people back while I was between dreams. I was on auto-pilot and it all ended this morning when I woke up and realized that I was no longer where I was when all this madness started. If I were to share with you what kind of weekend I had, you would not believe me. I am living a true rock star life and it's not on purpose, I am just fabulous like that.
However, I will share with you a few tid-bits here and there, I am not quite ready to be a complete open book. Just a bit of advice, I am not sure why I attract women who are insecure, maybe there were I was when I meet them, but I do know it's time to hang out with more confident women who are making moves and helping to change people lives. That is one of my life goals, and the only way to do that is to be around that type of energy. My mind is just too great to just sit around and gossip about average people. Maybe because their lives are soooo lame, that talking about other people makes them feel good about themselves,and maybe supplies some kind of joy. And here I am talking about them. It's only because I do not understand when people do that. I do know it's starting to get a little annoying. I guess when you are married and unhappy that is your only option. I don't know, but I do not live on that planet, so I am getting off at the moon, I have better shit to do.
Anyway, I went on to hang out with some of my artsy friends on mother's day. We had sushi and a lot of drinks. It was very fun, we enjoyed each other's minds. Talked about the joy of men or having them and the joys and pains of being a mom. After I drove over to one of my "Friends with "BEEN NEE FITS" house in a horny stumper, and topped off the weekend with some extra special stuff. Ya' know the kind of stuff that makes you real proud to be a woman. I also whipped his ass in dominoes, something that I have not been able to do since we meet. There is something exciting about competing against a man, beating him at his own game, and having him take his revenge out in the sheets.....yummy!!!... So I went to sleep feeling like a champ!!
However, I will share with you a few tid-bits here and there, I am not quite ready to be a complete open book. Just a bit of advice, I am not sure why I attract women who are insecure, maybe there were I was when I meet them, but I do know it's time to hang out with more confident women who are making moves and helping to change people lives. That is one of my life goals, and the only way to do that is to be around that type of energy. My mind is just too great to just sit around and gossip about average people. Maybe because their lives are soooo lame, that talking about other people makes them feel good about themselves,and maybe supplies some kind of joy. And here I am talking about them. It's only because I do not understand when people do that. I do know it's starting to get a little annoying. I guess when you are married and unhappy that is your only option. I don't know, but I do not live on that planet, so I am getting off at the moon, I have better shit to do.
Anyway, I went on to hang out with some of my artsy friends on mother's day. We had sushi and a lot of drinks. It was very fun, we enjoyed each other's minds. Talked about the joy of men or having them and the joys and pains of being a mom. After I drove over to one of my "Friends with "BEEN NEE FITS" house in a horny stumper, and topped off the weekend with some extra special stuff. Ya' know the kind of stuff that makes you real proud to be a woman. I also whipped his ass in dominoes, something that I have not been able to do since we meet. There is something exciting about competing against a man, beating him at his own game, and having him take his revenge out in the sheets.....yummy!!!... So I went to sleep feeling like a champ!!
Monday, May 5, 2008
Friday, May 2, 2008
Bi-Polar Moment!
Have you ever did something and wake up and wish that you never even went there. Yeah, I had one of those moments last night and with an X. Remember how I was blabbing about how an X would be an last option considering all the other options I had, well I got rid of all my options and was left with an X. This is the 2nd time in 5 years that I went back to old faithful and for the second time in five years, I wish I could rewind the tape, it makes you remember real quick why they are X's in the first place.
The night was kind of generic, ya know the late night pick up, then the late night food and drinks. The drinks really got me in the mood and my thought process went out the window. It's amazing how a man acts when he wants something, so I pretended like it was sincere and let the night take it's course. I also knew it would be great writing material.
I am not going to bore you with the details, just know that sometimes it's better to wait for that one who can give it to you just like you like it and however long you want. I almost hate that he spoiled me in that way, but he did and it makes me want him even more, and he knows it. If I were to tell him about last night, he would say that I deserved to not be satisfied because he is the only one that can. Damn, the truth hurts! What I experienced last night must have been the result of the recession.
I am laughing at myself because I lead some men to believe that I am this lonely writer waiting to be rescued and taken care of. Those are just the seeds that I plant. My life is a bundle of joy and I carry "a pocketful of sunshine". Those who truly know me, know what's up, and those that don't, are standing on the sidelines wondering if they could see me tonite. If they only knew.....lol
The night was kind of generic, ya know the late night pick up, then the late night food and drinks. The drinks really got me in the mood and my thought process went out the window. It's amazing how a man acts when he wants something, so I pretended like it was sincere and let the night take it's course. I also knew it would be great writing material.
I am not going to bore you with the details, just know that sometimes it's better to wait for that one who can give it to you just like you like it and however long you want. I almost hate that he spoiled me in that way, but he did and it makes me want him even more, and he knows it. If I were to tell him about last night, he would say that I deserved to not be satisfied because he is the only one that can. Damn, the truth hurts! What I experienced last night must have been the result of the recession.
I am laughing at myself because I lead some men to believe that I am this lonely writer waiting to be rescued and taken care of. Those are just the seeds that I plant. My life is a bundle of joy and I carry "a pocketful of sunshine". Those who truly know me, know what's up, and those that don't, are standing on the sidelines wondering if they could see me tonite. If they only knew.....lol
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Tender
He was like a warm breeze between my legs
He left no part untouched
When he was not there, I felt him so much
A true King indeed , one that could not be denied
He tamed the beast in me just by one look from his eyes
He handled me the way a man should
Caressing my mind with images of words unheard
Giving me everything that I deserved
His kiss was magic it made my heart pound
I've never been kissed so deeply
His tongue introducing itself to me
My body he would get to know intimately
For it was my mind that he went through first to get to me
He left no part untouched
When he was not there, I felt him so much
A true King indeed , one that could not be denied
He tamed the beast in me just by one look from his eyes
He handled me the way a man should
Caressing my mind with images of words unheard
Giving me everything that I deserved
His kiss was magic it made my heart pound
I've never been kissed so deeply
His tongue introducing itself to me
My body he would get to know intimately
For it was my mind that he went through first to get to me
Mind Madness
It's pretty sad that I only get a chance to write on my blog every 10 days. My mind is so blogged up with everything in life that I seem to forget to release the madness. There is so much going on in the universe and with people that sometimes I need to be away from it all.
Ya know I love the warm weather, so I was out in it. I faked on a date the whole weekend. I am just not into him so why bother. I faked in a nice way, I choose to spend time with my daughter instead. I checked on people to see what they were doing, and for a Sunday nothing much was happening, even for those who said they were doing something. I was in the mood for love, well sex and since I have cut off my hook-up. I was left to ponder about a few other aspects of my life that may appear to be lacking......lol
There are so many people who want to see me in a relationship, and happy. But my happiness does not mean being with a man. Happiness is being able to express myself through writing. Happiness is eating pecan praline ice cream at midnight and not having to worry about my weight. I am happy now, and I think when the time is right that man will add to that when I am ready and not a moment sooner. But sex however, damn, that is an immediate need. I also most hate that the one that gives it to me EXACTLY like I like it, is miles and miles away.....damn, damn, damn. And the sad part is that no one else will do. So, I go without. I could call him and he would come, but then he would get made cause then I would want him to go back and that would start another fiasco and blah, blah, blah. And these Cali boy's if not most all of them are in question and pretty fucked up if you ask me....lol.
I would rather do something else.....like watch a flick.
Anyway, during this time, I am working out everyday. I am making some great progress, I kind of like it. I have one of my friends work out with me and we are on a mission to just be healthier. I love my body, I am naturally muscular, so toning takes no time. My legs are my favorite and his too....lol
I am getting sleepy, I wanted to write some of my book tonite, but I cannot figure out what the damn password is I placed on my document. That's just retarded! I am so frustrated by that. Maybe that is a sign that I should go in another direction, who knows. My goal right now to invest for the next three years so I can write full-time. My dream is to be a stay at home mom, with my son and write all day, while my hubby works. That sounds so not like me, but that is where I am headed. Just watch and see....
Ya know I love the warm weather, so I was out in it. I faked on a date the whole weekend. I am just not into him so why bother. I faked in a nice way, I choose to spend time with my daughter instead. I checked on people to see what they were doing, and for a Sunday nothing much was happening, even for those who said they were doing something. I was in the mood for love, well sex and since I have cut off my hook-up. I was left to ponder about a few other aspects of my life that may appear to be lacking......lol
There are so many people who want to see me in a relationship, and happy. But my happiness does not mean being with a man. Happiness is being able to express myself through writing. Happiness is eating pecan praline ice cream at midnight and not having to worry about my weight. I am happy now, and I think when the time is right that man will add to that when I am ready and not a moment sooner. But sex however, damn, that is an immediate need. I also most hate that the one that gives it to me EXACTLY like I like it, is miles and miles away.....damn, damn, damn. And the sad part is that no one else will do. So, I go without. I could call him and he would come, but then he would get made cause then I would want him to go back and that would start another fiasco and blah, blah, blah. And these Cali boy's if not most all of them are in question and pretty fucked up if you ask me....lol.
I would rather do something else.....like watch a flick.
Anyway, during this time, I am working out everyday. I am making some great progress, I kind of like it. I have one of my friends work out with me and we are on a mission to just be healthier. I love my body, I am naturally muscular, so toning takes no time. My legs are my favorite and his too....lol
I am getting sleepy, I wanted to write some of my book tonite, but I cannot figure out what the damn password is I placed on my document. That's just retarded! I am so frustrated by that. Maybe that is a sign that I should go in another direction, who knows. My goal right now to invest for the next three years so I can write full-time. My dream is to be a stay at home mom, with my son and write all day, while my hubby works. That sounds so not like me, but that is where I am headed. Just watch and see....
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