Mind Madness

It's pretty sad that I only get a chance to write on my blog every 10 days. My mind is so blogged up with everything in life that I seem to forget to release the madness. There is so much going on in the universe and with people that sometimes I need to be away from it all.

Ya know I love the warm weather, so I was out in it. I faked on a date the whole weekend. I am just not into him so why bother. I faked in a nice way, I choose to spend time with my daughter instead. I checked on people to see what they were doing, and for a Sunday nothing much was happening, even for those who said they were doing something. I was in the mood for love, well sex and since I have cut off my hook-up. I was left to ponder about a few other aspects of my life that may appear to be lacking......lol

There are so many people who want to see me in a relationship, and happy. But my happiness does not mean being with a man. Happiness is being able to express myself through writing. Happiness is eating pecan praline ice cream at midnight and not having to worry about my weight. I am happy now, and I think when the time is right that man will add to that when I am ready and not a moment sooner. But sex however, damn, that is an immediate need. I also most hate that the one that gives it to me EXACTLY like I like it, is miles and miles away.....damn, damn, damn. And the sad part is that no one else will do. So, I go without. I could call him and he would come, but then he would get made cause then I would want him to go back and that would start another fiasco and blah, blah, blah. And these Cali boy's if not most all of them are in question and pretty fucked up if you ask me....lol.
I would rather do something else.....like watch a flick.

Anyway, during this time, I am working out everyday. I am making some great progress, I kind of like it. I have one of my friends work out with me and we are on a mission to just be healthier. I love my body, I am naturally muscular, so toning takes no time. My legs are my favorite and his too....lol

I am getting sleepy, I wanted to write some of my book tonite, but I cannot figure out what the damn password is I placed on my document. That's just retarded! I am so frustrated by that. Maybe that is a sign that I should go in another direction, who knows. My goal right now to invest for the next three years so I can write full-time. My dream is to be a stay at home mom, with my son and write all day, while my hubby works. That sounds so not like me, but that is where I am headed. Just watch and see....