Moving On....

There are so many cycles to life. I believe we go through phases as part of our growth and changes are made to either force us to become better or remind us that we are in the same fuck up situation. Sometimes people choose to be in a sad existence. I really can't be bothered. Living in a cess pool of denial and self deprecation, who needs that?

So I am moving on. I see it. You don't realize that you have become what it is you hate in others. You missed the point of your own fucked up way of thinking and living. Instead you kill yourself daily, with that liquid disease. I would feel sorry for you, but I can not.

It's funny how even the happiest person can be drowned out by misery if you stick around it long enough. So this is where I exit. I tried. To get rid of you is no real loss to me, biology has us linked forever, but only half way. I wish so much more for you in your life. I hope you find your way and along the way, you become a better person. I let you go before, and my kind heart found you and let you in again. Those were the most peaceful moments in my life, so I am going back to that.

I have always known that I can do more for people, then they can do for me, and I accept that fate. I am a dynamic person so I give off energy that people are curious about. I do not have a point to prove, my spirit says enough. I observe and I understand that even the most educated can be the most ignorant people,it's almost appauling. But it just confirms what I believe, education cannot change what you are, and it barely gives you the right to say what it is you think you know.

Good Bye, I wish you all of the best life has to offer. I have very broad wings to spread and everyone's waiting.

Different Than You

All my life I've had significant experiences that help me become the woman I am and the woman I will be. Life to me is filled with lessons that either we learn from or continue to repeat. Some of us learn quick, others do not learn at all.

I have also been one that believes in the freedom that truth allows, so I try to live my life in the light. I acknowledge my imperfections, nurture them and accept them as a part of me. Never will I confess perfection or claim that I know it all, I will leave that to the idiots. I will say I talk what I know, my experience allows me to. And anything I say I can definitely back it up. I try to steer clear of people who talk too much about nothing or say demeaning things on behalf of ignorance, I know I am not like them the minute I walk into the room. I will never be like them, because I am different.

I choose freedom, instead of a closed mind.
I choose truth, instead of denial.
I choose to live, instead of just existing.
I choose to excel, instead of just get by.
I choose to love, instead of hate

What's in me God made.

What Are U Made of?

Some people are made out of sand.
Some people are made out of clay.
Some people are made out of dirt.
While others may be made out of shit.

Some people are made out of rock.
Some people are made out of stone.
Some people are made out of bone.
While others are made out of gold.

Some people are made out of water.
Some people are made out of flesh.
Some people are made out of heart.
While others are made out of just things.

Since there are so many ways you could have been made
Your fate is determined by what ground you've laid.
Whether strong or weak, hard or soft whatever it is you may be
Is the mirror a true reflection of what you see?

So I ask, what are U made of?

The Cut Off.....

Yeah, so ummmmmm there is nothing more bothersome to me than a man having heavy equipment and not knowing how to work it. Damn! What a waste!

I have been seeing this guy on and off for about a year. Nothing special really,nice to hang out with, but a little too bitchy and boyish for me,so I can only tolerate him in small doses. Now, after this last little rapture, I've decided to completely cut him off, he is just as lame as the guy that introduced us. He is a good father and I wish him the best...toodles..again.

Moving forward and looking forward to the August festivities. It will be my first time going to an award show and participating in a fund raiser that is actually for a good cause. It will also be the month that my book is officially on the market. The last quarter of the year should be great and filled with all that God promised.

I hope everyone is having a great summer, I am so far!

Please Don't Date Me-100 Reason's Why

OMGoodness!

This is one of those nights that I sat back and reflected on my accomplishments so far. It is also one of those nights when I can not sleep because my brain is in overload and I am imagining all the things that are in the process of coming into fruition.

One....my book will be published this month!!!! Please Don't Date Me. I am more than thrilled and I am working on volume II and my third book. That is my first love, writing.

Two...I will be moving. I thought about several places to move,thought of even going back to the ATL, but God said stay posted for a while longer. My daughter is still in school and the move would probably be traumatic for her. I get to shop for all new furniture and stuff. Yippee!!

Three...Where the hell is my husband!! LOL!! I gotta laugh at myself on that one. I know God is preparing me and him, because I know I am a piece of work!

Peace & Love Ya'll Gotta Get Some Sleep!

Black and Unfamous....

Wow, there's a new group of people that have surfaced in my neighborhood. They are called the "Elite". You know the well established black people with somewhat deep pockets. I say somewhat because, I am really not sure how deep. Don't really care.But to give you an idea I must say they consist of mostly married women, with wealthy husbands. Some may cheat others may not (and I am talkin' about the woman since I see them out the most). I have seen their husbands out on other occasions, but did not know that they were the husbands that belong to these particular type of women, that in itself is another story. (hehe) Gosh they dog their husbands so bad, I am almost sure that they (meaning the husbands) are cheating as well. I think some think that is a perk of being somewhat wealthy. When they are in the presence of each other, the front is on thick. They act as if they are the perfect wives,others just don't bring their husbands at all, I guess no time for putting on that front.

Anywho.

They sit out at local bar's get incredibly drunk. I mean wasted and go home. This is not a weekend thing. It usually takes place any time during the week. I happen to fall into a place on a early week day and there they were in full effect. The conversation was bleak,it got a little more interesting when the alcohol took effect. The husbands began to ask questions and as you may know I do not like married men asking me anything, so I have a fake name and fake information. You will never walk into a bar alone acting like you know me. Never. The woman just watched from afar, checking to see what type of woman I am. Watching to see if I was going to do some shit on the under. Well, ladies, I would not want your man even if he were single. I keep it real simple. His money will not ever entice me. You will never leave because the money is just too good and he will never leave because it would cost too much money, so the cycle continues. One lady was waiting on her man hand and foot, maybe because they were the only couple that was not married and she looked a little insecure. She was the very accommodating type. The type that would be mad at the woman instead of her man for cheating. Ok,good for you.

I am sure there are circles of people that get together and shoot the breeze in a natural way on all levels of life. The kind that it does not matter that your income is or your tax bracket, they are just good people. The demise of the institution of marriage is on the rise and it is because of the people that do it for the wrong reasons. Get it together, make love and mean it. Life is really good, Do you really have to live in a fake existence pretending that it is all good in your hood? Now if they really wanted to step their game up,I would take them to hang out with my friends from the other side of life. The Self-made Millionaires Club, gotta love a man who goes out and get's it and chick's too!

No one is quite ready.

Happy Father's Day?

I often hope that those who are father's are doing the best job that they can. But more often than not, I have ran across father's who have either been absent or have ruined their children. This is not to say that mother's cannot ruin their children, it does happen, but for whatever reason there are more absent father's than mother's.

My father has been absent from my life, all my life. I do not know the full story of my existence. My mother has choose not to tell me, but cover the real story with lies's and that is her way of either protecting me, or concealing her shame, I don't know. She was young. Being a mother at 16,I can not imagine. But her decision has affected my decisions regarding men all my life. I often believe that there is something lost, an wound open and never closed when there is a missing parent. The interesting thing about all of this is, maybe because I have never had my father, my daughter's father's are not in their live's either. One because of death, so there was no choice in the matter, the other because he simply chooses to not be a father. Maybe he has no idea of what that means either. Which brings me to what we attract. I knew this man would not be a father, yet I still had my child. I was almost ok with him not being there,simply because I was so familiar with not having a father myself and I seemed to have turned out o.k. I knew how to raise my daughter in a way that she would be strong, loving and independent. Yet, I believe that she still needs to have her father. I long to know who my father is, is he still alive? Does he want to know me? There are so many secrets held in the southern states of America, that there is a real possibility that I may never know. There is a man who my mother says is my father, but neither one of us believes that we are related. There is no connection,it's like not having a father at all.

Although I look like my mother, there are things my mother have been that I could never be. I have had two step-father's and I did not get along with neither of them. I have been given the gift of seeing people for who they are and I can not pretend that you are not what you are,even if you are pretending to be something else. I choose to not fake anything in my life, because I live in the truth. My mother married for her to have a husband,not for her children to have a father.

So,where am I going with all of this? Father's love your daughter's,and raise your son's. Stop the destructive cycle of not being in the life of our children; please start taking care of what we brought into the world. We need you in a positive way.

I know not having my father has affected my relationships. Maybe I would have made better choices, been a little more patient. I thank God for those who have been a father figure in my life. The cause has not been completely lost. God always takes care of his children. Although my mother married twice, I still had no idea of what a man looked like. A man that would take care of his family, honor his wife/girlfriend/mother of his children, love and not destroy his children. I know it exist and I will have it in my life as an example to my daughter's.

My journey has lead me to this moment. Thankful that I am not a bitter woman because of what I didn't have. Thankful to be able to recognize what is good and true because of what's in my heart. I choose to create a better life for my myself and my daughter's. A true child of God and I walk in his light for he is the only father that I know. Thankful that although I am strong, God will not give me a son until I marry his father.

Happy Father's Day.....OneLove