Do You.

Photo Credit: "See the Snow"  by LLW

If you like it, I love it. Do you. 

I am not sure if people realize what “do you” means. It’s an expression to do what's best for you, to do what works for you, and anything with “You” in it, do it.   I admire people who can be authentic, stand alone and go against the grain and still come out on top.  It always leads to bigger and better things.   The right people always seem to show up.  It's just that you have to be aware when the wrong ones sometimes get there first.  They'll come around smiling and grinning like they have all the genius ideas when they could not formulate an original thought, even if you gave it to them. 

Know yourself, so you won’t have to manufacture other people's ideas and thoughts, find your own. Know yourself, so you won't have to emulate the character of someone you do not even know. The lost are really lost, so be careful who you follow.  I hear people saying the same thing in a hundred different ways and the person that says it the hundredth time, appears to have all the credibility when all they really have is popularity. I’ve also learned that it’s not what you are saying, it's who’s saying it. Pay attention, it's easier to accept the truth from someone you like or admire, even when they're telling a lie. 

I am very hopeful for the future. These old paradigms, ways of thinking, and popularity contests are going to be far in the past.  They will be in no one’s memory.  Will that be you?  It will not be a time in history when someone says,   "I remember when Dr. Joe got five thousand likes on his tweet, it was so amazing!  Or  "I remember when Ms. CanDo had over a million followers, that was so profound." No. No one is going to be saying that. No one is going to be thinking that.  So maybe you should think about what you want your legacy to be?  What difference will you make in this world?  Someone asked me, what is my purpose? My purpose today is to enlighten you to your own power.  I’ll reveal more of what my purpose is as I go along.  If I am not saying anything that encourages you, or if you do not resonate with anything that I am saying, do not listen, do not follow me. I will not be offended because I want you to go wherever you are feeling empowered.  

I want you to be a success, whatever success is to you.  I am actually looking forward to when I am sitting on the beach of a lawn, writing my autobiography while my assistant sends out my bleets. Bleets that you can only receive if you have my app. Membership will not be for the miscellaneous.  People always say enjoy the present, enjoy right now, tomorrow is not promised and you’re right. But, my mind wanders, my imagination is vivid and I can not help the happiness I feel when I travel to the future. Let your mind create the earth you want, the power is in you. Allow yourself the freedom of being exceptional and unique.  Do not assimilate to something that does not fully represent you.  Use your innate power to be, whatever it is you want to be. You do not need anyone's permission.  Just be patient with yourself and let your “Fearless Freak Flag Fly” (c). 

Peace & Love 

Lavidus 

You Choose...

I find it quite interesting when people get into relationships and then wonder how they got into these relationships.  It's like, you choose a duck and now you are mad because the duck is quacking. Who's fault is that?  Is it theirs, because it has always been their nature to be a duck, to have duck ways, or was it the duck in you that resonated with that duck? I'm just saying, let's put the blame where it belongs because we all have to be made accountable for what we choose.

Let's not be discouraged by circumstances and do not let anyone make you feel bad about where you've been or where you are in life.  Every stage in life is temporary, grow from it, learn from it, and keep going. Stay focused, because you are already who you want to be.  I guarantee when you get to wherever you think you maybe want to go, they'll still be lookin' from where they're still at.   Do not let anyone tell you how to feel or how to respond to this world or how to show up in it.  We are all in this world, but some of us are out of this world.  We are having all these experiences, trying to manage our thoughts and stay focused on the prize, whatever that prize is.   You choose.  Do not let anyone tell you what to do.  You choose.  There shouldn’t be anyone thinking about you more than you think about yourself.  I do not mean that in a selfish way.  We are all taught to always think of others. I get it, but who got you more than you?  When you can have you, work on you, understand you, and forgive yourself for all the shit you didn't know, recognize all the pieces and try to put it all together the best way you can, that's all you.   Even on an airplane, they tell you to give the oxygen to yourself first.  Heal yourself. So we can heal this hurt nation. Her feelings have been hurt and we all know what happens when a woman is scorned.  She tears up cities and brings down nations. Destruction has to take place. The land needs to be plowed and turned over for these new seeds to be planted. Save your own life first! Heal yourself first! It's a continuous process, growth never stops, and you’re supposed to be getting better at this. Are you?

When you elevate your mind, you don’t talk about the same subjects you talked about five years ago.   You can barely be around the same people. I know I can’t. I am a foreigner. I had to reprogram and re-educate myself. I have the curiosity of a child, soaking up all this new information, so I am not even the person I was five years ago. I had to let go of all this pain that I was harboring and I choose to forgive and move on and let it all go.  The old me had to go, and I had to get to know myself all over again, and I love her. Are you willing to do the hard work alone, or do you need a pat on the back or congratulations in order for you to keep going?  Maybe you need permission to state your claim. Or maybe you feel your transformation needs a team effort?  I don’t know, You choose. 

I do know this, you have a unique path that's all yours, so don't give up on it.  Don't give up on your story.  You need to be here to tell it.  We all need each other right now in the right way.   Don’t let your heart go astray. Be accountable. Be responsible for your decisions, every single one of them.  What are you learning about yourself right now? Are you being brave? Are you being courageous?  Are you an active participant in the course your life is taking? Are you the Captain or a sailor?  Are you The Queen or are you a princess? You choose. 

Peace and Love

Lavidus

  

It's A Party!

                            

                                            "The Sun"  By LLW

"Usually when people look down on certain qualities in you, it's because they themselves are conditioned to see those things as bad, and the deeper the conditioning is, the more forcefully they will try to shut it down or shame it in you."  

( I am not sure who the author is, but If you do, please share it with me.)

Enjoy Your Day!👄😂😂

Lavidus

"The future is bright for those who can look into the sun." LLW

It's Just My Advice

I often hear of women who are having problems with their men, or problems with their relationship.  Those things are bound to happen when two people are trying to come to a common ground in each other's lives.  Having a disagreement is not always a bad thing. You get a chance to see where the other person is coming from, that is if you are communicating in a way that allows each person to really say what they feel.  But we can't always blame our unhappiness on the man.  As women, we have to be responsible for who we choose as well.

So here's my Advice:

1. You can't expect a man to grow up if you keep acting like his mother.  Naturally, women cater to the nurturing role, sometimes while stripping the man of his manhood.  If he needs a mother, let him go to her. You are not her competition.

2.  He's only an asshole because you've accepted his asshole behavior.  Why should he change?  If you want to be with him, then you change and accept it.

3.  Men are very easy to please.  Their level of complication is limited.  If he is extremely complicated, or never satisfied, then maybe there are other issues that need to be addressed.  It is not your problem to fix.

4.  There are plenty of single men and all the good men are not married.  Unfortunately, some of the married ones are hanging out like they are single. Don't fall for it. If they are unhappy, leave the situation.

5.  Don't change yourself to fit his mold.  He has to love you just as you are. Period!

6.  Everything that feels good is not good.  Give that euphoric feeling that comes in the beginning when love is new, some time.  Time reveals the truth of how someone really feels and their intentions.

7.  If you just want a sexual relationship, then don't get emotionally involved.  Set the standards from the start and stick to it.

8.  Never give a man more credit than he deserves.  You are creating a fantasy and setting yourself up for disappointment.  See him for who he is, then decide.

9.  Men are always drawn to different things, don't change to be someone else to get a man like your friend did. What works for them, may not work for you.  And it may all seem rosy on the outside, but  I am sure your friend is not sharing all the dirt that goes on on the inside.

10. Forget about a timeline. The, "I need to get married at this time", or "I need to have a baby at this time" or anything that limits your freedom to enjoy where you are in life. We are all born at different times for a reason; one reason may be to travel different paths of life.

11.  Don't expect to find prince charming while you are still dealing with frogs.  Be clear, be open, and be single.  There is nothing wrong with enjoying the freedom of being single and taking your time to choose.

12.  Ladies, it's ok to cater to your man.  A real one will appreciate your trust and your willingness to please him.  Make him feel like he is in control and he deserves all this love because we all know who really is. ;)

If you want some personal advice or need further clarification, book a session with me and let's talk about it. 

       Always know and believe You can have anything you want, aim high and believe it!

Peace & Love

Lavidus

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Question of the Day!

 Thank you all for listening to my podcast and reading my blog, I appreciate your love and support. 💗💗💋

I love my husband and I married him because he is a great provider, but we are not sexually compatible.  Every time I try to spice up the bedroom, he is either too tired or just not interested.  I am not sure how we got to this point, but I am ready to call it quits or have an affair to find some kind of sexual satisfaction.

I would like to commend you on trying to find a solution instead of having an affair and inviting another party into your marriage.  Although many couples have found adding another partner to the relationship has been successful, I understand that option is not for everyone.  I would suggest you have a serious and honest conversation about your needs and ask him what he needs from you as well.  Maybe there are some underlying issues that are lying dormant that need to be discussed.  The longer you are with someone, the communication should become easier because you both are evolving adults.  Some people like to think that sex in a relationship is not important, but I believe it is.  It can become the life or death of a relationship.  So do all you can to save it, bring the spark back, and reignite that passion. But if the passion was not there in the beginning and he is just a provider, I am not sure what more you can expect.

 

Lavidus

"

Friday The 13th

Today is Friday the 13th, and although it has been associated with evil and bad luck, I often like to refer to it as the luckiest day of the year. I was born on January 13th and I have only experienced one bad day on Friday the 13th and it was due to karma.  I believe I told the story of finding two hundred dollars in the movie theater and I guess I should have turned it in because in some strange way on Friday the 13th while out celebrating my birthday, I had exactly two hundred dollars stolen from me.  It has been known throughout history that numbers carry a powerful energy and the number thirteen is no different.

We are approaching a full moon and a lunar eclipse this weekend, so we are in for a lot of transformative energy and a lot of purging of the old. People can no longer hide behind their masks, a lot will be revealed, secrets will be exposed, etc.  A lot of your lives will never be the same, so embrace the change and ride the wave and prepare for the next chapter of your life.

 According to the Stress Management Center and Phobia Institute, Friday the 13th is the most feared day in western society.  Seventeen to twenty-one million people are affected each year.  Some people avoid taking flights or doing any kind of business and if you’ve noticed a lot of office buildings do not have a 13th floor. The number thirteen is linked to Christ's Last Supper, where the 13th disciple betrayed him (Gotta watch the Judas in your life).   It is also associated with rebellion and lawlessness.  On Friday the 13th, there have been freak accidents, weird occurrences, and unexplained events.  

Friday the 13th is not bad at all. The original meaning is very lucky and represents the day of the Goddess. It is a day to worship your divine feminine. It is a day to honor the divine feminine in and around us.  It symbolizes the 13 moon cycles and the 13 menstrual cycles that a woman may have.  In numerology, the number thirteen represents the death of the matter or to oneself and the birth of the spirit, and the passage to a higher level of existence.  The number thirteen breaks down to the number four, which represents stability, self-expression, loyalty, and patience.  Numbers are all around us, and their meanings can be quite powerful if you are aware. 

Instead of fearing this day, embrace the day like you would any other day by honoring your beautiful and divine self.   Your thoughts and decisions will create your good or bad luck.   If and when your plans fail, don’t worry,  it’s just the universe way of keeping you on your toes. There is a lot of nefarious energy floating around desperate for a drink of what is pure.  Protect yourself, manage your thoughts, and do not let anyone interfere with your Friday the 13th. 

Peace & Love

Lavidus

REFERENCES:

bing.com google.com

Purple Lotus Spiritual Healing, Inc. 

Hate2Love

They love it when they can use and abuse you

But hate it when you cut them all off

They love it when you can open wide and let them dive all the way in

But hate it when you close the legs of life permanently 

They love it when they think they have gotten away with something and the coast is all clear

But hate it when the unexpected appears

They love it when you are there thick and thin

But then hate it when you realize they weren't even a friend

They love it when you walk beside them and that ego gets stroked

But hate it when they can't produce that same feeling with the next, can’t fix it, it's broke

They love it when you give all you can because that's what your love requires

But hate it when they fumbled it all for an unfulfilled desire

They love it when they think they're doing better than you

But hate it when they find out they never really knew you

They love it when you are struggling, failing, and appear to be down & out

But hate it when you change it all and go farther than they have ever been, no clout

They love to play in the dark and do things from the back

But hate it when the light shines on all their true acts

They love it when they smile in your face, and want what you got

But hate the work and their own mirror so they’ll never get your spot

They love it when they think no one has your back and you're standing all alone

But hate it when….Imma’ leave that one alone

They love it when they try so hard to ruin your reputation with lies

But forget that it’s really their rep on the line this time

They love to watch, stalk and hope

But forget those ALL seeing eyes ain’t no joke

They love it when they think you can't do any better

But hate it when better is all you do

They love it when they can spread their hate & despair 

But hate it when no one really cares

They hate to love, don't they?

But send them all love anyway

Their class on self-love and admiration was missed

Although it's not too late, I insist

The next time a lack of love is in your presence

Send it all back with a kiss.💋

Lavidus

“Put it in their face, so their eyes can see.” LLW

Trauma Bonds

Are you in a trauma bond? Are you in love with your abuser?  A trauma bond is a deep emotional attachment that develops in a relationship characterized by abuse that's emotional, physical, or both.  Have you bonded with the person that has caused you the most pain?   Do you see that as the only relationship you deserve, because of how you feel about yourself?  Usually, when a person bonds with an abuser, it is because there is something missing in them.  An abuser is an abuser, their methods do not ever change.  When you are on the receiving end of trauma and you are making decisions that are against your highest good, then there will be more lessons to follow.  There is an insecurity or unhealed area of your life that makes you believe by keeping the abuser around proves to the abuser, that whatever they did to you, you were not affected by it. When in fact, developing any kind of relationship with your abuser is a true indication that you were deeply affected.

These trauma bonds are relationships that are built on pain and hurt, offered by temporary satisfaction of validation, reward or acknowledgment.   Are you strong enough to stand alone?  Are you strong enough to recognize the sickness of your own mind in order to change it?  Do you love yourself enough to stand up for not only yourself but for what is right?   If you are in a relationship that is not fulfilling, supportive, and loving then what are you doing?  Trauma bonds can be developed in any kind of relationship.  These bonds can be created with mothers, fathers, friends, and anyone who feels that they can abuse and belittle you in order to feed their ego because we all know that they all are really just children.  Be careful who you listen to because a person telling you bad advice can keep you bonded in that situation. (Repeat)   I know that some of you like that toxic shit.  You were born into it and know absolutely nothing about being loved and loving yourself.  Some people look for drama and ways to cause destruction.  Well, those days are well on their way out the door and so are the people that carry that energy.

There are three major signs of trauma bonding. I am sure most of us have experienced some kind of trauma bond or are in a trauma bonded relationship right now.  The excitement can be great, but the long-term effects can be devastating.  All I can say to that is, when you know better, you do better.

1. They make excuses for the abuser.  If you feel you have to validate someone's abusive behavior, or make yourself look small because you believe you have to save face to remain in the relationship, then you are in a trauma bond. 

2. If you have to lie and pretend to be happy with your situation, the truth will definitely set you free.   You are not helping anyone by denying yourself the happiness you deserve.

3. Seeking contact with people who you know caused you pain.  They don't care and probably wondering why are you still around.  They will only use you up and spit you out.

Trauma bonds do not turn into happy relationships.  You have to leave the relationship, the people, and the situation in order to heal and take a good look at yourself.  You must understand and realize that most people do not change, especially if their poor character has been working for them.  It has more to do with yourself and who you allow into your life and what you accept. Focus on yourself, strengthen your intuition, and use discernment when deciding who gets a front seat in your life.  We all experience things, but your response determines the outcome.

Peace & Love

Lavidus

 NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE 1-800-799-7233

Question of The Day!

I let my husband experiment with anal and although it was not as bad as I thought, he now prefers anal over my vagina, what do I do?

It's all fun and games until you find out what he really likes.  I first must commend you on wanting to please your husband and trying something that he likes, so my answer will be two-fold.  How did you decide to let him experiment with anal?  Did he ask?  I often find that some men actually like anal, but because it is so closely related to being the sexual preference of someone who is gay, or bi-sexual, straight men tend to not want to admit that they like it.  You can ration it out, like blowjobs, or give it to him on special occasions.  However,  if he prefers it too much, then he may actually be bi-sexual or gay, because I do not know any straight men that prefers anyone's anal over some vagina.  

If your man seems to prefer anal over your vagina, then you might want to have a discussion on what he really likes and fall back on giving him what he wants until you are clear. If it is not pleasing you as well, then why continue to do it?  Continuing to please someone by allowing them to do something that you are not into, will only breed resentment.  Check out your sexual activity when you tell him that he can't enter through the back door anymore and you will find out your man's real sexual preference or if it's your vagina that he really likes.

Lavidus