An Insecure Man

I had the pleasure of meeting up with an old friend from junior high school. This was apparently someone who remembered more about his crush on me then I did on him. I remember us being childhood friends, he remembered a hot-steamy junior high school romance. I was like ok...whatever, things for me did not become hot and steamy until I was over 30, but if you say so. I agreed to meet and hang out and shoot some pool and have some drinks. Nothing major and definitely quite innocent. Since I love shooting pool and it is one of my favorite pastimes, I could not wait. If a man can shoot pool, I would welcome the competition. My initial impression of this man was that he probably had a woman at home, which is why I blew him off for a month. I knew he was not anyone I would date, but I was cool on seeing an old friend. He always called from a blocked number, and asked to not ever call him at this particular number, you know all the red flags that he had a woman and again someone I would never consider dating. Now here's where things started to go left. A few days before the meeting he admitted how he had a woman at home and they were having problems. I had to laugh, that is the number one reason why men cheat, or say they are cheating, "they are having problems at home". And I guess seeing me will make it all better, right? I was like ok, not really interested in hearing your problems, we're just hanging no big deal. I actually had fun, but after a few games and drinks he started to share what he likes and why he cheats as if he was anticipating on cheating with me. He said that there is nothing better than getting "new pussy" (immature and a turn-off). I was like oh and your woman is happy with that? He said, "I have a good woman at home, she knows I've cheated in the past, but not so much now". I said, "So she thinks you no longer cheat?" He said, "I take care of home and my girl is happy with that. (disillusioned and confused). I was like when a man cheats on a woman habitually she is bound to cheat as well, all is takes is a better dick and some attention. "Oh no, not my woman. I said, Ok Sherlock, I guess you were expecting to fuck tonight, but that's not going to happen. I guess you are happy at home, that's why you cheat. You obviously have a bigger problem or it is not big enough to fuck your "good woman" back to happiness? She has my sympathy or appreciation if she is fucking around on you too. Never under estimate a woman and what you think makes her "happy". "You don't know my woman". "I know, but I am a woman and if she is as good as you think she is, she's also smart enough to counteract your bullshit, which is probably why she is staying in the relationship, you are paying for her pain somewhere you just don't know it yet". It looks like you are the one with the problem. As soon as I left I felt no need to even act like I even ever had this moment with this old friend from junior high school. I was very disappointed to see how dismissive he was of his "good woman", over the possibility of some new pussy. Sad to see that at his age (40+) that he was still trying to conquer some pussy. Really? On an even sadder note is that somewhere, somehow some ill informed woman fell for this bullshit and he got laid one night. This man was obviously very insecure, feeling the need to conquer pussy is so high school. He hasn't had the chance to grow up or even has a clue as to what it is to be man, ironically to him conquering as much pussy as possible makes him a man, when in reality it makes him the opposite. (clueless) I would suggest therapy. He was clearly perpetuating an act that at some point was successful, until he meet me. Peace & Love L

Life & Relationship Coach

Are you the pretty girl that is always a friend but never a wife? Are you forever the "side chick" and never the main woman? Do you want women to love you for you and not your assets? Are you mature enough to maintain healthy relationship? Are you dating the same kind of woman or man and expecting to get different results? Are you divorced and wonder what happened? Are you simply tired of being single, but refuse to date outside of what you want? I am embarking on a new career as a Life & Relationship Coach. My vast experience in giving advice and existing in several family, love and work relationships have broaden my knowledge that I would like to share with you. Happiness is entirely up to the individual, I can help you find untapped areas and emotions that you may not have addressed within yourself.

Please stay tuned for the 1st Annual Relationship Forum where we will put it all out on the table and create a healthy, loving environment for you and for those you love.

You can email me your questions regarding your life and relationships to lavidus88@gmail.com

Peace &  Love, L

Money to Live or Die

I felt compelled to state the obvious when it comes to prescription drugs and celebrities. There is a serious problem going on when you are in an industry that supports, condone and watches your demise as you become a victim to the legal killer called prescription drugs. Someone and everyone needs to be held accountable. Marilyn Monroe, Dorothy Dandridge, Jimi Hendrix, Bruce Lee, Elvis Presley, Gerald Levert, Rob Pilaus (Milli Vanilli), Dana Plato (Different Strokes), Anna Nicole Smith, Pimp C, Heath Ledger , Michael Jackson and most recently and the most sad, Whitney Houston. When will it end? The other side of this is, these artist/celebrities are supposedly grown responsible adults who make the decision to take drugs and alcohol while knowing the risk. The doctor's that prescribe the drugs know the risk. That's just like a drunk driver making the decision to drive, knowing there is a possibility that he would hurt, kill himself or someone else. But the average drunk driver does not have an "team" or entourage taking care of your every need. And there is a bartender who can and will cut you off if needed. These doctors that prescribe these drugs, only see a means to a very deadly end. There are several people around celebrities who are getting a paycheck to either speak up or turn their head. Most of them are turning their heads and then turn back around when there is a death...oops! That's the culture of the industry. How can you survive in the belly of the industry beast? You have to have people who are stronger than you around and who are willing to risk their jobs in order to tell you the truth. There is no love, just a whole lot of loss. As the days pass and the new news becomes the old. As several commentators discuss the matter with no solution in sight and as the day turns into night, this will always be what it has always been; a little "secret" problem that makes so much money that no one dares to speak up against it. To one of most prolific icons, Whitney "Nippy" Houston, RIP. LLW

Why Do We Love Bad Boys......

Bad boys, the name say's it all. We often find ourselves wanting the man that has the edge, the one that is so exciting, thinks he's god gift to women, but don't give a shit about our feelings, yet keep us wanting more. And god forbid if the sex if incredible, that makes it even harder for us to leave. We all want that kind of excitement, the unpredictable nature of a man who is so unstable, we swear we can fix him, even upgrade him perhaps. But remember, he already comes into the relationship knowing who he is and knowing what he wants, so whatever plan you have for him is not even as big as the plan he has for you. Even the smartest of women fall for this kind of man. The allure is irresistible.

NEWS FLASH: Bad boys do not like other bad girls. They like the innocent, they like the strong, but not that strong. They also like a challenge, but in a different way than we do. They may have a bad girl as a side chick, because she might do things that "other" girl won't, either way, you won't be his one and only. And if he say's you are, then good luck with that.

I've had my share of bad boys. I must say the adventure was great, but it was not worth the pain I felt when I decided that this kind of "love" was not for me. As soon as I realized that this man will never change, I then began to make my own assessment of why I choose him in the first place. I knew that he was not marriage material, but he kept me on my toe's, and challenged me mentally. I knew he could never take care of me, but yet I invited him to be a part of my life. I just knew he was not good for me in the long run, but I was just too concerned with the short of it. I knew it! Thats why sometimes it's hard for me to believe that when woman who get involved with a man who is bad for them, are completely oblivious to what she is getting into. She is blind because she wants to be blind. We sometimes ignore the obvious and look for things that we won't ever see. We are intuitive creatures and we know, we just refuse to recognize, and that's where the trouble begins. There are some women who have no clue how to filter their emotions and logical thinking. They put that logical thinking on the side and go completely with our emotions. Relationship after relationship, coughing up the same result. That is backwards, we also have to be logical when inviting men into our hearts, and I am not sure when if ever will a bad boy be worth the investment. We are responsible for who and what we invite in our lives. The I don't know what happened, or how could he do this to me? syndrome is for teenagers.

There are some reformed bad boy's. After years of moving around, never making a commitment and being just overly tired of the drama, he might ultimately settle down with the chick that he has given the most troubles to. The one that stayed around until he actually grew up. That in turn makes her a real bad girl, because she supposedly tamed a bad boy, I guess. Or he might choose a young chick that does not know any better, all she knows is that he breaks her off and whispering "daddy" to him every now and then is enough. Whatever the case and the cause, please understand, there is nothing wrong with dating a bad boy, they are good if you just want to have a good time, with no commitments and get tuned up every now and then. But if you want love, you can find it in any man who is willing to not only complete you, but fulfill your every need, cater to your emotions and support you in every way. And guess what? You won't have to pay his cell phone bill for it to happen.

L, Peace and Love

Ok...soooooo

After a 6 month stint in what seemed like dating prison (3 months to get in and 3 months probation) I have regained my composure, gathered my thoughts and ready to get back into the dating game. Although I almost hate to refer to it as a "game" but that is what it is. You pass, you receive, you pass again, you slam dunk or you miss, then the clock starts all over again. I must admit I have not made some great choices as of late, but hey, I have got to meet some very interesting people along the way and I always believe as an evolving human being we should always be open to connect to other human beings. One of the reason's why people cheat, that desire to connect to something new. Anyway, another day another time. We may not always know a person's purpose in our lives, but I am sure if we thought long and hard we can find a lesson, whether good or bad, there is always a lesson. Once the lesson is presented we either continue on that same path or make some changes. When you do something different, you get different results. I could never date someone from 10 years ago, not only am I different, but if I dumped you then, there is no chance now. I never recycle the pool, not for anything serious anyway.

The first of week of my decision to get back out there, was not so great. I was not a dating fanatic before, but the stuff, I mean the men that are out there now seem a little jaded about the roles they are suppose to play in the life of a woman, well at least in the life of this woman. For example, upon meeting me one asked if I had my drink money, no silly, I don't buy drinks on the regular and if you are not buying drinks, then move along. Another asked, can you give me a kiss on the cheek, no sir, I don't know you, and even though you look like a nice piece of chocolate I refuse to place my lips on a face that I just meet, sorry. These things are simple to me, just plain etiquette per say. I do not have a laundry list of what I expect, although there are certain qualities I am attracted to. I just hope that when he opens his mouth the things that come out of it is as attractive as the package. Like a friend of mine said, "Do not have "high" expectations, just have expectations and the men who do not belong there will get weeded out". Especially when you already know what you do not like. We come already knowing what floats our boats, so that alone eliminates a lot. Even when we marry the "ideal" mate, we always tend to see other's that we are attracted to, don't blame me, it's human nature. Do not trick yourself into believing that this prince charming will be perfect, just perfect for you, if you allow him to be. I believe in love, attraction, lust and all that good stuff, but I also believe in building relationships, getting to know someone because there is no quick fix for a broken heart.

So as I embark upon making new friends and ending old one's, I am looking forward to this journey. I am excited because that is the story of my life, it's never a dull moment.


L, Peace & Love

Book Signing and Discussion

I had the pleasure of meeting with a few women who wanted to have a round table discussion about my book and other relationship issues and resolutions. We had a blast!

Please Don't Date Me-100 Reasons Why
L.L. Walton
http://www.amazon.com/Please-Dont-Date-Me-Reasons/dp/143276151X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1318313437&sr=8-1

Excerpt from NEW BOOK SHAME, Love, Lies & Lust

SARAH GREEN: The Socialite

My name is Sarah Green. I am a mother, wife and a friend of very few. I am married to a wealthy man whom I fell deeply in love with 10 years ago. Although I love my husband, I also hate what we have become. Our marriage has taken on a form of its own. He lives his life and I've created mine; financially we come together. Yes, he brought me a long way from the streets of San Francisco. A long way that I will never go back to. Sometimes it's a sad and lonely existence, but one that is remedied by small doses of cocaine and prescription marijuana.
I know my husband is having an affair. Any woman who claims she doesn't know when her man is seeking pleasures from another woman, is silly, uninvolved and should be cheated on. In this particular situation, I know he is having an affair because I set the whole thing up. He is having an affair with a man who is now a woman, and a beautiful woman at that. I know that my husband is weak. He only has power in the board room. Every where else he is a frail little boy waiting to be rescued by a blow job that's tainted with love. I guess I could yell, scream and be mad that he took the bait, but that would also mean that I would be surprised and right now I am not. She keeps him busy while I do what I want. With all this money, I do more than just shop. I make full use of my time and body.....

AMANDA RAE JONES: The Vixen

.....my step-father was a baptist preacher and my mother was a fool. He screwed everyone from the church secretary to the mother's of the church, all in the name of God. He also fathered two children with two different women. Women my mother brought into the church. Yes, she stayed and continued to praise God on the front left pew of the church every Sunday as if nothing was happening all around her. I guess if you do not acknowledge that something exist, then it probably really doesn't. She not only lived in denial she created it and rowed in it often in her little canoe. I guess it was a place of comfort for her. Her idea of being strong was not facing anything and going on with life like it was a perfect sunny day, even during a winter storm. I would have preferred her to be a drug addict that way at least she would be dealing with something. This denial thing is a silent killer and I believe at some point my mother began her silent death. It was a place that I never wanted to be . Religion and it's flaws, I had had enough. I grew up quick and empty. That's all you need to know, all that other shit in between is really none of your business.

KEVEN: The Gaysexual
I am a man who enjoys fucking men. I have a relationship with a woman who I adore sometimes, but there is something that a man gives me that she never will. There is an unfulfilled desire that is left lingering after I have been with a woman that is never there after I have been with a man. I am not sure if that makes me bi-sexual or just sexual. I have several children whom I have lost contact with and she has no idea that I have. Why bring up something you are not sure about. I have been in and out of jail so many times, that is seems like my second home. Every since I was 13 I have been trying to make it, just trying to hustle here and there.
.....When I meet Elizabeth she had a very nice smile. Her eyes were piercing and inviting. She was a nice curvy woman, although she seemed a little insecure about it, I loved that about her. Even in my least manly moments I needed a woman to hold on to. At first, we had good times and good sex. I liked being with her. She accepted me and all my misfortune, somewhere deep I loved her. But I knew that I needed him, I knew that whenever I would get out of jail we would be back at it. Something in me desired him more and her less.........