Jealousy and Envy

"They say that jealousy and envy are crueler than the grave well,  some of you have one foot in." LLW

What makes a person so jealous and envious that they would ruin their own lives in the process?  

What is it about yourself that you hate so much?  It is your lack of love and attention?  You sit and watch other people get loved on and treated special and you don't see no part of that in your chosen life or relationship so their happiness just makes you so sad.  Are you one of those people that sit in your large home with a large bank account and envy those with less?  What is it?  Do you hate your mirror so much that you would rather destroy another person because daily you admit to yourself that you are less and unworthy?  Let's talk about how you can recoup some self-esteem and start loving the skin you're in.

First, I will share with you the difference between jealousy and envy. People often mistake jealousy for envy, when they are two different emotions. Jealousy is the feeling that you will lose what you already have, like a relationship,  or a job.  Envy is the feeling that someone has something that you don't have, like a beautiful face, a nice home, or a rich gorgeous boyfriend, things like that.  Jealousy is having a man or woman in your life and not believing that you have the confidence or self-esteem to keep them.  You believe there is someone better than you who she/ he will eventually choose. Even though that has not happened yet, your thoughts will manifest that reality.  Envy is scrolling on someone else's page day in and day out hoping that because you hate them so much they will get uglier or experience some kind of downfall. What you don't realize is that the more energy you put into a person the bigger they become.  The more you talk about them, the more success they will experience. It doesn't matter if what you are saying is negative or positive, the attention you are causing them to receive is what matters. So, please let a hater promote you.

In order to grow from being jealous or envious, you have to know your worth. Only those who feel they are not worthy will constantly invite the experience of jealousy or envy.  The person that you are jealous or envious of more than likely does not even know.  They probably trust you and love you and here you are plotting against them for no other reason but the fact that behind closed doors, you hate yourself, your life, and all that you represent. The extinct of someone's jealousy may not be apparent at first, but 90% of the time, jealousy and envy are experienced by people you know.   It's usually the people that clap for you in your face and stomp on your name behind your back; the people you grew up with, the people you call friends and family.

In order to get passed those feelings of incompetence, find out what you like about yourself.  What makes you unique?  Check in on yourself and be honest with yourself.   Make a list of the things that you want to change and work towards it.  Make a list of what you could do better and do that.  It will not be easy to undo all the negative things you may believe about yourself.   You are more valuable than the people that you compare yourself to.  We are all traveling on this journey, and we all have our roles to play.  If the role you are choosing is to be a jealous and envious person all your life, then you have already sold yourself short.  You have already given up and you owe yourself more than that.   

Peace Within

Lavidus

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Painting photo" Envy & Jealousy " by Harry Weisburd

Your Inner Child

A lot of us need mothers and a lot of us need fathers.  When we are children if the emotional aspect of ourselves is not met and we become adults we will seek that emotional fulfillment in our relationships. We will look for acceptance, we will look for that validation, we will look for that nourishment and love. And when they can't find it, or when they don't recognize it, we will destroy whoever is trying to give it to them.  It's almost like, they need you to hate them as much as they hate themselves.  

When the inner child is not healed you run into all kinds of problems as an adult.   Along with sabotaging your relationships, you blame and remain an eternal victim of circumstance.  You can only grow and be fruitful when you are accountable when you are able to look at yourself and accept your true nature.  You can't blame momma and daddy forever.   There are those who refuse to heal because of the attention that it garners for being an eternal victim.  That attention fulfills a level of satisfaction, and it allows them to point the finger at someone else.  Being in a relationship with a person with an unhealed inner child is like being in a relationship with a child.  There is a lack of communication, mind games are played and instead of addressing their feelings, they do things behind your back to interfere with your progress or create situations where you need them.  

I remember when I was dating a guy who I had over for breakfast. It was his first time that he was having breakfast with my children and I had made pancakes and sausage, typical breakfast stuff.   I cut up my daughter's pancakes because she was five years old at the time. The guy I was dating asked me why didn't I cut up his pancakes? At first, I thought he was just being funny, but he wasn't and I asked him if he wanted me to call his momma to come cut up his pancakes because I was not going to be cutting up pancakes for a grown-ass man.  Throughout the relationship, I realized he was just grown physically.  There was a child in him waiting to be paid attention to and acknowledged.  Of course, I did not know that at the time, but yes, that was his inner child speaking.  

The journey to self can seem long and tempestuous and there are no shortcuts.   You have to learn to address ourselves before we address other people.  The path you are on is yours alone, so find the strength to accept your place in the world.  You don't have to be like anyone else, but yourself.  You don't have to compare yourself to anyone because there is no one like you.  Sometimes we have to become the parents that we needed and love ourselves unconditionally, with no judgment.  Pursue those things that bring you the most joy.  Play and be a joyous, fearless child, the world is yours.

Peace Within

Lavidus

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CandleByLights Officially Open!

Greetings Dahlings,

My Etsy candle store is officially open!  If you love candles as much as I do, you are going to love giving these as gifts, or for your own personal use.  They smell delicious and I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

Thank you all for your support!💕💕

Click the link below and enjoy!

CandleByLights - Etsy

Your New Suit

 

Do you really know the people you think you know?  Has anyone in your life changed so drastically that they are unrecognizable? Have you changed?  Do you have the same people in your life for the last twenty years? Do you still trust them?  Do they trust you?  Every day, everything around you changes.  The seasons change, the trees change, and the animals in their natural habitat change.  Are you changing?  Have your mind and emotions caught up to your natural age, or are you still stuck in 1996?

One of the problems with having long-term friendships and long-term relationships is the rate at which someone changes.  You can never determine when those changes will take place, they just do.  Events, circumstances, and the desire to change are some of the things that can ignite that pivotal moment at any moment.  Either those changes extend the relationship or situation or it ends it completely.  There are no wrong answers, just paths to choose. Paths that lead to a better you.  There are some people who will never change and that is their choice.  You have to be brave.  You have to love and accept what you see in the mirror and a lot of people are not ready for that.  Never looking up, never looking down, they are just following the yellow brick road.   When you do change, when you do let go and allow, the need to resist or figure it all out goes away.  The come-up is no longer appealing.

I have changed a lot.   I had to remove and be willing to let go of all the relationships that served no real good purpose in my life. I had to remove titles and judge people by their actions.  I had to take a good look at the part I was playing in my own demise and remove myself and gravitate to those who match my vibe and speak my language.   Some would like you to believe that you are not who you say you are, or that you are naive, or that you are not worthy of anything but what they provide.  Well, those who have been through the fire and are still here, know that that is not true.  If anything you learned how to enjoy your own company.  You learned to study yourself and master yourself and see through people.  When you master yourself, you get to see the old self in those old people.  You get to see why they were in your life and why they come back. How many of you have run across an old X or someone from your past and thought, how the hell was this person ever in my life? I actually had sex with that?  You get to see why those people are in your past and why they must remain there.

When you upgrade your mind and your vision of the world and the people in it changes, you can no longer entertain what was.  If they are not growing with you, I guarantee they are growing against you.  You can only wish them well on their journey and thank them for the experience.   You can't put on a new suit and go sit in the gutter.  You can either go back to who you used to be and keep on that gutter suit or you can keep your new suit clean and be around other people who are wearing new suits and who can appreciate your new suit glow.  They know what it took to get there, and they can applaud you and your new suit because they earned one too.

Peace Within

Lavidus

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What Are You Ready For?

What are you ready for?

Are you ready to forget to remember?

Are you ready to strip your personality down to the root 

So you can fiend and find your truth?

You're not foolin' anyone, but yourself

So, don't you want to be free or someone else?

Will you forever feast on the illusion of your egotistical desires?

Or will you taste freedom and rise higher?

What are you ready for?

Are you ready to walk away to save yourself?

Are you ready to love yourself deeply and unapologetically?

Are you ready to ride alone, become strong and then ride again?

What are you ready for?

Are you friends with the things you summon in the night?

Are you ready to receive what you dished out times thrice?

What are you ready for?

Are you ready to remove the roof off yo' brains?

(A closed mind won't get you far, you'll go insane!)

What are you ready for?

Are you ready to receive from all your hard work?

Are you ready to celebrate and step into this new chapter filled with all that you asked for?

All that you dreamed about?

Are you ready to be all that you are?

Are you ready to accept all that you are not?

Are you ready to handle yourself properly with tenderness, compassion, and forgiveness?

What are you ready for honey? Because it definitely coming, swiftly.

Can you handle all that's coming your way?

Or will you falter, remain lost, and shifty?

Are you ready to fly and be extraterrestrial?

And watch everything you touch turn into gold?

Are you ready to spread real love and walk in the light?

And accept the dark because you know balance soothes the soul and compels the heart

Whatever you are ready for, that is what you'll see

So dream big, challenge yourself and watch your company

Peace & Love

Lavidus

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Claim Your State

I feel amazing!  I feel good and nothing will interfere with how I am feeling.  How I choose to feel today has nothing to do with you, so I hope you don't get offended by my natural high. I am incredible, I can do the impossible, and go farther than the sky.  That is how you must greet each and every day, claim the state you want to be in, and be it.  That is how you beat defeat and manage disappointments, by claiming your state. When the storms of life are washing you all over the place, find a location where you can quiet your mind, and embrace yourself.   You can affirm, "I am Powerful" in order to change your mood, or "I am Love" or you can just say "Fuck It" and have an even better day.  Whatever you claim, whatever you state let that be what rules your day.  

Everything in life is not always positive, some people are perpetual assholes and like to claim that state. Some people are so far from their own reality that another persons life seems like home. The live for disruption and chaos, because that is where they feel alive. You have to learn to not take another persons life path personally, and recognize them when you see them. All those who go against the many laws of life are often faced with the creation of their own reality and that is not your problem. 

Have you ever been having a bad day and someone calls you and says, I love you? How did that make you feel?  Those words at that moment changed your mood and became the words that you didn't know you needed to hear.   Your words can not only change your mood but the mood of others.  Although it is impossible to remain positive all day every day, you can become aware of your thoughts and the energy that you spread, and the energy that you receive.  When I am not feeling my best, I really don't want to be around anyone.  I play music and I'll have my own concert, with Janet Jackson as one of my backup dancers.  I look at myself in the mirror and I remind myself of who I am and what I am capable of.  I am human, I make mistakes, and I experience pain.  I take those moments and make them beneficial for me and allow them to be the foundation of my strength.  I do not dwell on it. I feel it, and I let it pass. I store those moments for future use because none of what happens in our life is in vain.  If we pay attention, we always get what we deserve, and what we deserve is always based on our actions and decisions. 

It is a small world that we live in, full of connections, redirections, distractions, and people trying to find their plot, copy what you got, and steal your claim to  fame.  The originals will rise and the fake will melt because no one else has your name.   Don't lose sight of who you are.  No matter what is going on outside of you, and around you, do not lose what's inside of you.  Do not let the world convince you that you need to be anything else except what you are comfortable with being.   Everyone wants to be able to exude that priceless energy, or at least get close to it, so be selective, because everyone is not worthy.  You have more influence than you think, for those who don't think. So, take this moment and make it yours and claim your state.

Peace & Love

Lavidus

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Take Your Time

Take your time, why are we in such a rush to get somewhere?  Why are we in such a rush to be or to do the next thing?   We are moving so fast that we no longer have time for time.  Are we in such a rush to be the next or the "New You" that we've left the unhealed part of ourselves behind?  We tuck the hurt, only to have reality rear its ugly head around Spring time when you thought that he or she was the one. Or after you have folded on that gym membership for the third year in a row, baby, just take your time.  There is no rush to improve perfection, every day leads to the new you, so what's the rush?

We bombard ourselves with the impression and the good intentions of becoming these new versions of ourselves.  Although that is possible, we must also be realistic and to not sell ourselves the same bargain of change that the world is offering us. Can we really change from December 31st to January 1st?  Can we really forget our old selves and forge ahead with this new identity and instantly forget the past?  No, I think not.  Well, maybe temporarily.  We all know that long-term change takes time, commitment, and determination and most of us give up by January 13th.  Each year we set ourselves up for another whirlwind relationship that begins with the promise of an unmet resolution.  I am suggesting that you take your time and give yourself a break before implementing changes that mentally you may not be ready for, be gentle with yourself.  

I mentioned earlier on a post on my Twitter (@LLWriter) that January should be the transition month.  If it takes 21 days to officially implement and make a change, then it should take just as long before we make a full commitment to these hopeful resolutions.  We should just spend 21 days thinking about what we want before we actually move towards it.  We can make resolutions every single day.  We can also take baby steps every single day. What we often do instead, is set expectations so high that we intentionally set ourselves up for failure. How many times have you had to start over?   Although there is nothing wrong with having to start over, in order to believe in the impossible, you must do what's possible first, so take your time with these necessary changes. 

In 2019, I was almost 200 pounds.  I was uncomfortable and I wanted to lose weight quickly, so I was starting and stopping all these different methods.  I failed at so many diets that I just stopped trying.  My body then started to reject the things I no longer needed, like energy drinks and sugar.  I no longer wanted to drink alcohol and I stopped eating certain foods.  My body naturally craved more vegetables and home-cooked meals, so that's what I gave it.  I made that change and although I had no idea what was happening, I went with what my body was saying and I lost forty pounds before I knew it. I became my ideal weight without even thinking about it.  Once I removed the desire, the solution came to me.   

Sometimes we have to pull away from the things we want the most, just to release the desire and allow the flow.  We don't always have to chase the things we want, if we truly deserve them they will come to us and it will be effortlessly.  So, take your time.

As this new year moves along, go with the flow.  Keep your intentions in mind, and in heart, but allow room for flow and take all the time you need to get to where you are going.  I am not saying that you rest on your laurels or let procrastination be your guide, all I am saying is there is no rush.  What's yours will always be yours and the destination will always be there.  Enjoy the journey and this experience while witnessing the miracles in your life.

Peace & Love💓💓

Lavidus

Why 80% of Resolutions Fail

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year Everyone!! January 1st has arrived and at this time of the year, I like to reflect on what has passed, the lessons I've learned, and the experience I've gained.  This year was more about discovering who I am, finding out who is around me, and trusting what I feel.  Maybe you have allowed yourself to let go of false beliefs, let go of unauthorized perceptions, and let go of people, places, and things that do not serve you, support you, or love you.  If you have let go of those things, then Congratulations!  You are ready for the next level of this experience called Life.  

It gets easier to recognize who belongs and who doesn't.  It gets easier to let go and cling to those things and people that actually leave you feeling good.  Change is good, and growth is even better.  You owe it to yourself to allow yourself to experience life through more than one stagnated lens.  Free Yourself.

One of the most beneficial things I did in 2022 was to have boundaries.  You can not control how people view you, you cannot control what they say and you cannot control what they think.  But you can control how you respond, you can control if you continue to be in their space and you can control if they are allowed to be in yours.  Having boundaries has been the most loving thing I did for myself.  It helps you to determine rather quickly who can be in that area of your life and who cannot.  Gauge how you feel after people leave your space.  Do you feel, "Wow, I can't wait to see them again!" Or is it more like, "Wow, where the fuck did my energy go?" Do you feel energized, or are you left feeling depressed and drained?   Spend time with people who can reciprocate real love and not just say the words.   Learn what it feels like to be accepted and loved so that an imposter won't stand a chance.   Gain the experience of knowing when there is an even exchange or atleast a similarity in the level of energy you are experiencing so that all of your sweetness will be returned and not just taken.

 

I've learned and I've closed doors and chapters. I've accepted people for who they are and moved around them accordingly.   Everything feels new and unchartered.   The world is changing and it seems like we are in the midst of whatever this new world has for all of us.  I experienced so much last year and it definitely has changed me, in a good way.  Sadly,  it became more apparent how much people are not satisfied with their own lives.  I understand how making another person a distraction can make you temporarily feel good, but it does not change the facts.  I hope for all of you as this new season rolls around that you will find more time to focus on yourself and love the parts of yourself that you have yet to discover.

Peace & Love 💓💓

Lavidus

"Thank you all for your love and support.  It gets greater later, so keep going." LLW

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