Gettin' older and Better

I know I should be embarrassed for taking this long to blog, but life is kicking in real fast and I just got a chance to slow down.

It's really a new year and as the second week glides on through I will have aged by Friday, by one year. One fast year, and I heard they get even faster as you get older. No, I am not complaining, I've looked to this age since I was half this age and it is something about getting there that makes me appreciate the journey. I had no idea what I would be doing. Maybe the marriage with kids, corporate job and all that American pie stuff. I have done some of it, but the road I am traveling now is up to the almighty and its wide open. The possibilities are endless and I am up for the surprises, focusing on all that is good and expanding my mind. I am appreciating my body and nourishing my spirit.

I am no longer "watching" my figure, but watching it form into nothing but woman. My thick thighs that wrap around his body are perfectly formed for touch and admiration. The thickness in my waist is there so I can appreciate the ass that has formed beneath it. I am woman and I love it! I am no longer concerned about the young chicks that because I "look" their age think they can compete. No,my child I am in a league you could only dream to be in, no competition here; Shiiit I pulled a dude your age yesterday,now who's the competition?

I am loving me even more. Congratulating myself for never compromising, even when I wasn't sure. I am confident in my growth, my decisions and mistakes. I am a growing flower that's rooted in soil that is moist and fertile, you dirt lovers need not apply. I am on a mission of fulfilling my dreams and living them, with few stops along the way. I am moving in an unstoppable motion that only God orchestrates, so I wait for my next instrument to be used. I am in love, a love that is so strong it can be felt for miles; this time I recognized it. I am ready to fly,soar above all to see. So take a seat and enjoy the show.


Peace and Love:<>

Happy New Year!

OMG! can't believe we are finally here in the 2011! My birthday is in about 8 days. January13th. The luckiest number in the world.


Smooches, tune in for new updates, dating scenarios and experiences.

L.L

5 Ways to Ruin a Relationship

These days trying to keep a relationship together can be tedious. There are so many things to consider when dating.  The likes and dislikes, the ups and downs and just communicating can seem daunting. Things which can sometimes be simple, become way too complicated.

When we enter a relationship, we are happy we look forward to seeing each other and everything is peachy. We call each other when we say we are and we plan to see each other a regular basis. We are in sync and communicating with each other seems effortless. But then something happens. Somewhere along the line things start to get a little twisted and off balance. I call, you won't answer. I call again, and you still won't answer. I am busy when you're free and vice-versa. All the love in Pleasantville has gone down to the alley in Horrorville and you can't figure out what happened or maybe you can.

If you have done one or all of these things then you may be the culprit in helping in the demise of your relationship.

1. NEEDY: No one really likes to be with someone who needs them all the time. It is a sign of insecurity and needing constant validation is not a good look. Have a life or get one real quick.

2. OVER COMPENSATE: Sometimes it's really hard not to show someone how much you like them. I suggest you just do it all in moderation. Giving too much too soon, will ultimately lead to getting taken advantage of, walked over and used. If you are not up for all that, please stop, learn to take a little.

3. LIE'S: Starting a relationship with an untruth will lead to more untruth's. Soon you will be dancing to the tune of "liar, liar, pant's on fire". Just don't do it. In order for someone to get to know you, you must be completely honest about who you are. And if you are not sure who you are, stay single until you find out.

4. CHEATING: No one likes to be betrayed. If you have agreed on being exclusive with each other, then be just that. If the discussion has never come up, please don't leave your exclusivity to assumptions, people get hurt that way. The only thing you can assume is that you both are still on the market.

5. FRIENDS: Not everyone is going to be happy because you are happy in your relationship, not even your dearest bestes of friends, especially if he or she is single. Keep your relationship details between you and your mate. Having frequent discussions with other people regarding your relationship will only lead to misinformed advice and you back to being single.

Peace & Love

Black Girls Rock!

This past weekend I had the honor of hanging out with my teenage daughter. Since the birth of her little sister our daughter dates have become far and few in between, so this weekend I made sure it was all about my daughter, Imani Special Lee.

We began the weekend with going to see "Colored Girls", which was a very moving movie that said about a lot about women in relationships, love, adversity and finding themselves. Although my daughter has had what seems like a peachy upbringing, this does not leave her exempt from the obstacles that life can throw at you. Sometimes the things that life throws at you, wake you up or make you change your direction. Whatever the case there is no real way you can be prepared, you just have to be prepared to learn the lesson.

We then got up early Saturday morning to walk in the Caribbean Sounds 5K Walk for Sascoidosis research. The lesson: Always give,always serve and always give a hand to the person that needs it the most. We live in a individualistic society. Rarely are people helping each other; there is, however plenty of let's see how much I can get for less. The it's let's compare toys. It's all the root of insecurity, because no one can really compete,so it becomes an endless strive for an unreachable place to nowhere. My daughter said to me even though it was grueling for her to get up on a Saturday, she was glad she went. She felt good for doing something for someone else.


On Sunday night we ended the weekend by watching BET's "Black Girls Rock!". I wanted to us to watch this to further give examples of what she can do. My daughter and I have always had conversations ever since she was able to talk. I make sure that she understands that her opinion matters and that she has the power to have the life that she dreams of. To love herself and never seek completion through a man, drugs or the approval of others. A complete life begins with the love for yourself. There is no one on the planet who can give you what you can, they can only add to what you feel about yourself. I teach her to live with no fear, explore life and move to the beat your own drum.

I know my daughter hears me and although often my rants may sound like blah, blah, blah to her, my hope is that one day she will remember what I shared with her. I learned a lot from my daughter as well. I learned that she is growing into a very intelligent and caring young lady. She loves people and wants the best for everyone. With all the things that my daughter could be involved in as a teenager, today, like most days, I am proud of her. The things I shared with her regarding my life and how I prevail even through the darkest of nights. It's possible. When you defy what people think of you, you soon realize that they never mattered in the first place.

Kiss your daughters,Peace & Love

Voted! And then some.............

Hello, Good morning, Buenos Dias, Hola, it is Tuesday, November 2nd and I hope you went out there and gave your.2 cents because it matters!

Alrighty then!

It is that time of the year when the holidays are coming near and the end of this year is ending as well. I am still single (meaning not married;)). Although I am not sad to report that, I am however just appalled at the length men will go to do absolutely nothing. Well, maybe not, but anyway. I am a lot happier. The move gave me freedom of mind, the girls are growing and healthy. My first book has been published and life just looks a lot rosier these days. Things can only get better so I am looking forward to the new year.

I meet a man about a year ago. We would often see other out at the local bar. He seemed like a nice guy and physically he was delicious; tall, dark chocolate, chiseled face with big hands (j/k). When we eventually talked he told me he thought I was stuck-up (Imagine that) and that I had a man somewhere. I also found out later through numerous conversations with him, that he also thought I was "out of his league". Huh? Now this is a man whom even though we exchanged phone numbers never really called. He would be excited to see me at the bar and how he always talks about me, but thought I was too busy to be bothered with him. Now, I thought about how he just basically just convinced himself that he didn't deserve me and made no effort to confirm it. I also thought about how many men feel that way about a woman? How they may like someone and believe she would probably never talk to them for reasons they made up in their head. Although I believe that if you convince yourself that you don't deserve something or someone, you're probably right, but you must take a chance.

If there are moments in your life that you want to meet someone but you just admire them from afar or you think you don't deserve a chance, take a chance! You are curious and you want to know more about that person, so find out. I did something different by contacting a person whom I admire. That was different for me, real different, did I say how different that was? I did not wait for him to talk to me, maybe he too was playing that "I don't deserve mind game", as shy as I can be, I took a chance and you should too.

As far as me and that man, he let too much time pass us by. Although I did have a crush and it probably would have been a nice relationship, I am no longer interested. In this life you have to seize the opportunity and make the most of it or it will pass you by. I have moved my interest and curiosity to another suitor and now I am just enjoying the view.

How to know when You're Slummin'

A few years ago I had my first slumming experience. It was fun and exciting, but I knew that it would be short-lived. For those of you who do not know what slumming is or is confused about how it relates to you, please let me explain. Slumming is when you are with a guy or a girl who you have nothing in common with, you're not even on the same intellectual level. You may even say that being with this person is dating beneath your "normal standards". You would have committed a slumming faux pas if you are ever seen in public. People would wonder how you two are together, how the hell did that happen, or what is she doing with him or her? There is no real connection except that the sex is insane, which is ultimately the glue that keeps you together.

Let me give you some examples, Janet was slumming when she got with Jermaine Dupri. I mean, the boy likes strippers and lesbians, good for a moment, but not a lifetime. Tiger Woods was slumming when he got with plenty of the miscellaneous hood rats from all over the U.S. He took slumming on a whole 'nother level. Jesse James was slumming when he cheated on Sandra Bullock with that tattoo chick. This slum act can be contested because he actually is still with this tattoo chick and that may constitute him as just slum himself. (And they too have since broke up.)  Bill Clinton was slumming when he let Monica Lewinsky give him that blow job.(Talk about dicks that will make you famous...lol).

During my slum expedition my family was damn near in an uproar. They were confused and sad. They thought I would fall in love, have a baby and marry this fool. That was the last thing from my mind. He served a purpose and at that moment that was all I needed. My mistake was letting them know who he was. Of course, when you have a family that see you as this college educated little innocent girl,(no matter how old I get) who likes having a boyfriend and is easily persuaded to do things that I would not normally do; they went into panic mode. This guy was not what they wanted for me; and I just wanted one thang, I mean thing.:) Aahhhhhhh family. They have no idea about the man eater I really am ("I am the envy of all women and I rule the men". ERYKAH BADU) and I do nothing to dispel their idea of me.  Any who.

A man will often slum more than a woman. Although we have our moments of weakness for men who are clearly not good for us, it takes time for us to get there, it has to be a phase or something. A moment in time that we allow ourselves to be and do something outside the norm. For me, I just needed a young man that could go the distance, keep up and then shut up! Men, however, tend to actually go after the slum chick, they are easy, available and will do anything. (i.e. Kat Stacks). She usually looks less attractive then the girlfriend or the wife and has nothing going for herself but maybe a fat ass and ummmmm well, a fat ass. Some men do not care how many and who has went up in that before them, they just want a piece of the pie (Kanye West).

O.k now that you have been edjumacated, I am sure you have a clear understanding of what slumming is. It's nothing bad, and although you will be judged harshly for it, try not to let it ruin your life. There is hope after slumming, you can move on and get a man that actually is more your speed like Janet did. She is now with a tall billionaire, that is so yummy. Yes, an upgrade was definitely in order. You can get that boyfriend that you often dream of in your head, he is out there. As women we have the power to get any man on the planet. Ladies, please recognize that power! And men don't underestimate it! And for men and women alike, try not to make slumming a everyday  life long thing, because being a slummer is really not a good look. It perpetuates insecurity and you will be inviting a long life of drama.

As some people often do, like, you totally would not want to marry one (in my valley girl voice).

Peace and Everlasting Love, Ya'll

Marriage Made in Heaven?

I often wonder about the institution of marriage these days. Where has all the love gone? These days it seems that marriage means, "Let me see how much bullshit I can throw your way before we decide to get a divorce". Or maybe it just means as long as I have someone to lie next to at night,who cares how dirty they are.

I see there are a lot of things that a person can go throw in a marriage that I simply do not think that I am built for. For instance, finding out that my husband is really gay, being cheated on numerous times or even being lied to.  Fathering other children, or having an "open" relationship. I am not sure those are things that God intended for marriage to be. It is a license that says you will be with me no matter what, I will love respect and honor you as my husband or wife and we will do our best to keep it together. I do not think that involves other people, but yet, people who are married participate in the swingers lifestyle. Sharing or swapping wives and or husbands, like it was placed in their vows.

I see husbands and wives cheating left and right. I see children being affected by it all. I see insecure women holding on to something that is not there anymore, just to say that they have a husband, is misery that important? Is the "look" of marriage more important than what it really is suppose to mean?  I see men putting up with disrespect from their wives and taking on lesbian lovers.  If that is what is the "norm" these days in marriage, then I'll pass.

 I probably won't ever get married because I am just too old fashioned. I believe a man should provide for his family. I believe in loyalty. I am liberal enough to know that the roles may change, but the rules still apply. There are rules you go by when you decide to get married. Rules, that are often broken so much, that you have to makeup more rules to accommodate the ones that were broken. I believe they should also share some responsibilities, whatever those responsibilities are should be decided between the two.It saddens me when I see a woman professing her love for her husband when her husband has others. Does she know? Is she putting on a front? Maybe they have an understanding.  the decision has been made to stay in it for the kids or financial reasons.  I don't know, but I know that at some point the institution of marriage really meant something.  And if did not involve checking a person's credit score. 

I know that marriage is hard, shit having a regular relationship is hard, but I think you should never invite other people into your marriage, EVER! And when you marry for the wrong reasons, it makes it that much harder. Maybe that's why it's hard, that ole' human need that desires another is natural. It's all about control and having respect for what you have at home. Unfortunately, some people have completely lost that. The want to be needed and desired from their husbands or wives becomes the responsibility of a mistress or the pool guy.   If it's just  for a night or ten years, that need eventually gets meet, along with the violation of your marriage vows. Is it really worth it?

I can have someone in my life and never get married, that's because I believe marriage does not validate a good relationship. Maybe one day I will cross that line, maybe I won't, either way I will have a clear understanding of who I am, and who I have invited to be such an intricate part of my life.

If you are married or in a relationship that may lead to marriage, do something special tonight for your loved one. Kiss her longer, hold him tighter, let them feel your love.  Communicate what it is you want and need.   You have to keep the spark alive at any cost, because if you don't someone else will.