Please Don't Date Me-100 Reasons Why- PICK IT UP!

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I am never dating black men again!

"I am never dating black men again!", were the words that screamed from the mouth of Angela Stratton. Power attorney for the Stratton, Jones & Marr. Yes, Angela had managed to make partner before she turned 30 and now owns a third of the thriving firm. She was born out of poverty and managed to navigate her way through life by making mistakes and having no regrets. Being intelligent, financially secure and beautiful has some how been a blessing and a curse. But Ray Lovette had played her for the last time. Seeing, dating, loving Mr. Ray Lovette was something that made her very happy. She was in love with him and like some of the things we love, want and think we need, it is sometimes not good for us. It was their history that kept her there mentally, but is was his dick that kept her there physically. It was love on the battlefield. Ray appeared to be all that any woman would want. He was appealing, one minute in the same room and you are drawn to his green eyes and baritone voice. His confidence swallows the air in the room, and only through him could you breathe. He was also an attorney, not yet partnered, but fierce in his own right. He was her main squeeze. There were other lovers, but none so compelling than him. He was the one that she allowed to break her heart over and over again, like a bad addiction. Throughout her life she has had many lover's, changed a few boys to men and as far as men go, they have never been an issue. Her motto: "Got 99 problems but a dick ain't one." She has always been the tried and true chick. She never holds grudges from past loves, but never goes back either. In her mind, there is no need to recycle the past. Traveling was her favorite pastime, and taking up lovers in Italy, Rome or Fiji has been the hobby. You might refer to her as a vixen or maybe even a bitch, but that is expected when a woman knows her power and Angela wore it on her sleeve and wasn't afraid to let you know about it. It was the day of the Attorney's Appreciation Night, she spent the whole day preparing for this event. It was like prom night for attorney's. She had been escorted by Ray for the last three years and was looking forward to seeing him tonight. They would usually talk briefly the morning of the event and see each other when the limo picked her up, but today it was already noon and she had not heard from him. She went on with her day, getting ready, manicures, pedicures, eyebrows, bikini waxing and whatever else that needed maintenance. Her dress was Gucci, a sleek black gown with a drop back. It allowed to room for body error's. It was starting to get late, the ball began at 8 pm and it was now 9, then 10 and no call limo or Ray. Being the woman that Angela is she called her driver and she attended the event without Ray. Everyone was there, everyone looked beautiful, but as she walked through the crowd saying hello's and engaging in small talk, she looked on the balcony and there he was, and he wasn't alone. (Stay tuned for how this story unfolds!)

Insecure Woman-Shame! Shame! Shame!

There is nothing more dangerous and sad then women with low self-esteem and insecurities. I almost hate to be in the company of those bitches because with insecurity comes, jealousy, hate and some other shit that you have nothing to do with. Being the confident, easy-going, out-spoken woman that I am, while in my presence an insecure woman will always be reminded of what she is not. She probably would wonder why her shit ain't polished or why has she settled for married, unavailable or even gay men to be in her company; then be mad at you because you have standards. The bitch is crazy! She also recruits and hangs around other insecure women because who other can condone your messy behavior and applaud your lack of self-love than another insecure women. Yes, I am calling all you bitches out on your shit because I am tired of you looking at me like I am the root of your fucking problems. I don't even know you. My advice is to find yourself. Try getting to the real problem with yourself. Was it lack of a father? No support? Abuse? False sense of self? I don't know, but I do know that you look like a damn fool blaming other women who are doing their thing, respecting themselves while holding and appreciating healthy relationships with other women. Sometimes being friends with females can be difficult. There is a lot of things that can happen in the course of a relationship. Believe me you, my friend circle has gotten very small and I am not mad. It's part of my growth process and you can not take everybody with you on your journey through life. Nor can you share your plans, because they are dream killers in the highest degree. I do not need friends in the form of enemies. Although I am very aware, I may keep you around just so you can have a front row seat at the movie of my life, starring me, of course. I mean, what the fuck else do you have to talk about? Apparently, ain't shit going on in your life worth mentioning. So, please save that fake ass, "You're my friend shit", I know what a friend is, I am one. Banish them from your life and if it's family, limit the contact, these people can sap the life out of you; bringing you down makes them feel real good. So with all that being said, every woman at some level has something that they may be insecure about. That is natural, we have that moment, we change it, fix it, talk about it or whatever. But, when you are mad at (HATING) on another woman because she's pretty, she got a man or some other shit you lacking, then you have a problem that needs to be addressed. Some women will get a laugh out of this piece because as soon as they started reading this, they knew somebody who fit the profile, others will be offended and let their insecurities take over and get mad or whatever, who cares, go take a nap, sleep on it and come back refreshed and get your shit right. Somebody needs to tell you, your attitude and thought process stinks. And to be honest I am not bothered by it, the next time you see me, if you see me, I am going to be even more FIERCE! Peace & Love Bitches! PDA: This was written out of love. :)

An Insecure Man

I had the pleasure of meeting up with an old friend from junior high school. This was apparently someone who remembered more about his crush on me then I did on him. I remember us being childhood friends, he remembered a hot-steamy junior high school romance. I was like ok...whatever, things for me did not become hot and steamy until I was over 30, but if you say so. I agreed to meet and hang out and shoot some pool and have some drinks. Nothing major and definitely quite innocent. Since I love shooting pool and it is one of my favorite pastimes, I could not wait. If a man can shoot pool, I would welcome the competition. My initial impression of this man was that he probably had a woman at home, which is why I blew him off for a month. I knew he was not anyone I would date, but I was cool on seeing an old friend. He always called from a blocked number, and asked to not ever call him at this particular number, you know all the red flags that he had a woman and again someone I would never consider dating. Now here's where things started to go left. A few days before the meeting he admitted how he had a woman at home and they were having problems. I had to laugh, that is the number one reason why men cheat, or say they are cheating, "they are having problems at home". And I guess seeing me will make it all better, right? I was like ok, not really interested in hearing your problems, we're just hanging no big deal. I actually had fun, but after a few games and drinks he started to share what he likes and why he cheats as if he was anticipating on cheating with me. He said that there is nothing better than getting "new pussy" (immature and a turn-off). I was like oh and your woman is happy with that? He said, "I have a good woman at home, she knows I've cheated in the past, but not so much now". I said, "So she thinks you no longer cheat?" He said, "I take care of home and my girl is happy with that. (disillusioned and confused). I was like when a man cheats on a woman habitually she is bound to cheat as well, all is takes is a better dick and some attention. "Oh no, not my woman. I said, Ok Sherlock, I guess you were expecting to fuck tonight, but that's not going to happen. I guess you are happy at home, that's why you cheat. You obviously have a bigger problem or it is not big enough to fuck your "good woman" back to happiness? She has my sympathy or appreciation if she is fucking around on you too. Never under estimate a woman and what you think makes her "happy". "You don't know my woman". "I know, but I am a woman and if she is as good as you think she is, she's also smart enough to counteract your bullshit, which is probably why she is staying in the relationship, you are paying for her pain somewhere you just don't know it yet". It looks like you are the one with the problem. As soon as I left I felt no need to even act like I even ever had this moment with this old friend from junior high school. I was very disappointed to see how dismissive he was of his "good woman", over the possibility of some new pussy. Sad to see that at his age (40+) that he was still trying to conquer some pussy. Really? On an even sadder note is that somewhere, somehow some ill informed woman fell for this bullshit and he got laid one night. This man was obviously very insecure, feeling the need to conquer pussy is so high school. He hasn't had the chance to grow up or even has a clue as to what it is to be man, ironically to him conquering as much pussy as possible makes him a man, when in reality it makes him the opposite. (clueless) I would suggest therapy. He was clearly perpetuating an act that at some point was successful, until he meet me. Peace & Love L

Life & Relationship Coach

Are you the pretty girl that is always a friend but never a wife? Are you forever the "side chick" and never the main woman? Do you want women to love you for you and not your assets? Are you mature enough to maintain healthy relationship? Are you dating the same kind of woman or man and expecting to get different results? Are you divorced and wonder what happened? Are you simply tired of being single, but refuse to date outside of what you want? I am embarking on a new career as a Life & Relationship Coach. My vast experience in giving advice and existing in several family, love and work relationships have broaden my knowledge that I would like to share with you. Happiness is entirely up to the individual, I can help you find untapped areas and emotions that you may not have addressed within yourself.

Please stay tuned for the 1st Annual Relationship Forum where we will put it all out on the table and create a healthy, loving environment for you and for those you love.

You can email me your questions regarding your life and relationships to lavidus88@gmail.com

Peace &  Love, L

Money to Live or Die

I felt compelled to state the obvious when it comes to prescription drugs and celebrities. There is a serious problem going on when you are in an industry that supports, condone and watches your demise as you become a victim to the legal killer called prescription drugs. Someone and everyone needs to be held accountable. Marilyn Monroe, Dorothy Dandridge, Jimi Hendrix, Bruce Lee, Elvis Presley, Gerald Levert, Rob Pilaus (Milli Vanilli), Dana Plato (Different Strokes), Anna Nicole Smith, Pimp C, Heath Ledger , Michael Jackson and most recently and the most sad, Whitney Houston. When will it end? The other side of this is, these artist/celebrities are supposedly grown responsible adults who make the decision to take drugs and alcohol while knowing the risk. The doctor's that prescribe the drugs know the risk. That's just like a drunk driver making the decision to drive, knowing there is a possibility that he would hurt, kill himself or someone else. But the average drunk driver does not have an "team" or entourage taking care of your every need. And there is a bartender who can and will cut you off if needed. These doctors that prescribe these drugs, only see a means to a very deadly end. There are several people around celebrities who are getting a paycheck to either speak up or turn their head. Most of them are turning their heads and then turn back around when there is a death...oops! That's the culture of the industry. How can you survive in the belly of the industry beast? You have to have people who are stronger than you around and who are willing to risk their jobs in order to tell you the truth. There is no love, just a whole lot of loss. As the days pass and the new news becomes the old. As several commentators discuss the matter with no solution in sight and as the day turns into night, this will always be what it has always been; a little "secret" problem that makes so much money that no one dares to speak up against it. To one of most prolific icons, Whitney "Nippy" Houston, RIP. LLW

Why Do We Love Bad Boys......

Bad boys, the name say's it all. We often find ourselves wanting the man that has the edge, the one that is so exciting, thinks he's god gift to women, but don't give a shit about our feelings, yet keep us wanting more. And god forbid if the sex if incredible, that makes it even harder for us to leave. We all want that kind of excitement, the unpredictable nature of a man who is so unstable, we swear we can fix him, even upgrade him perhaps. But remember, he already comes into the relationship knowing who he is and knowing what he wants, so whatever plan you have for him is not even as big as the plan he has for you. Even the smartest of women fall for this kind of man. The allure is irresistible.

NEWS FLASH: Bad boys do not like other bad girls. They like the innocent, they like the strong, but not that strong. They also like a challenge, but in a different way than we do. They may have a bad girl as a side chick, because she might do things that "other" girl won't, either way, you won't be his one and only. And if he say's you are, then good luck with that.

I've had my share of bad boys. I must say the adventure was great, but it was not worth the pain I felt when I decided that this kind of "love" was not for me. As soon as I realized that this man will never change, I then began to make my own assessment of why I choose him in the first place. I knew that he was not marriage material, but he kept me on my toe's, and challenged me mentally. I knew he could never take care of me, but yet I invited him to be a part of my life. I just knew he was not good for me in the long run, but I was just too concerned with the short of it. I knew it! Thats why sometimes it's hard for me to believe that when woman who get involved with a man who is bad for them, are completely oblivious to what she is getting into. She is blind because she wants to be blind. We sometimes ignore the obvious and look for things that we won't ever see. We are intuitive creatures and we know, we just refuse to recognize, and that's where the trouble begins. There are some women who have no clue how to filter their emotions and logical thinking. They put that logical thinking on the side and go completely with our emotions. Relationship after relationship, coughing up the same result. That is backwards, we also have to be logical when inviting men into our hearts, and I am not sure when if ever will a bad boy be worth the investment. We are responsible for who and what we invite in our lives. The I don't know what happened, or how could he do this to me? syndrome is for teenagers.

There are some reformed bad boy's. After years of moving around, never making a commitment and being just overly tired of the drama, he might ultimately settle down with the chick that he has given the most troubles to. The one that stayed around until he actually grew up. That in turn makes her a real bad girl, because she supposedly tamed a bad boy, I guess. Or he might choose a young chick that does not know any better, all she knows is that he breaks her off and whispering "daddy" to him every now and then is enough. Whatever the case and the cause, please understand, there is nothing wrong with dating a bad boy, they are good if you just want to have a good time, with no commitments and get tuned up every now and then. But if you want love, you can find it in any man who is willing to not only complete you, but fulfill your every need, cater to your emotions and support you in every way. And guess what? You won't have to pay his cell phone bill for it to happen.

L, Peace and Love