A short story about People with degree's who spend their time at the Jungle gym.

I  had the pleasure of working at a jungle gym that had more problems than any organization should allow.  The fact that it was ran by a unprofessional, tardy, inconsistent director was clearly an indication that this would definitely come to an quick end for me or her.

It was filled with people who were in love with their titles, a high turnover rate and just plain stupidity.  Jabba, the certified career coach had the nerve to sit down and tell me how all of her friends own business's and that she was this and that. I mean, who sits and talk about themselves to someone who didn't even show any interest of knowing about you in the first place.  I am not a psychologist, but I think it was her way of justifying her insecurities.  A way to promote what she lacked. I thought it was entertaining nonetheless.  Why didn't she talk about her pseudo-happy marriage that didn't turn out as expected?  Being the breadwinner is not for every woman; not being able to ever be surprised by your hubby or taken to dinner or have anything initiated by him due to lack of funds would take it's toll on any head-strong, independent woman in a marriage, especially when he is cheating.  All that work for nothing, better keep that money coming in guurrlll!

Then there was Sally, who coined herself "Genius", but could not figure out how to check a message from a phone line, with the manual in front of her.  Of course you are my dear, a genius among fools; an organizational psychopath.  Her perfection was her flaw, if she made one mistake, she would flush to a bright red, and looked as if  she was about to overdose on anti-depressants. OCD at it's best, she thrived in an environment that she had total control of, otherwise a mental institution was in order.

The Director was a suppressed woman and for obvious reasons, being married to an Mr. Potato Head had it's burdens.  She was the lesser of the two and he apparently had his way, all day and with whomever.  So she acted like any woman who was not getting what she needed at home, by dressing inappropriately and flirting with anything that gave her a dab of attention. If she only knew how much of a mess she looked.  You know there are no clowns allowed in the jungle gym. And you had the nerve to assume I was taking from the cookie jar. Oh Anna Mae.  Sally does not even like you and  Ms. Jabba forget about your bright ideas, they will never be implemented. 

Once I summed up the characters, I begin to play my game to see what character's I can develop.  I begin to tell my own stories. Stories that seemed so unbelievable, at that point I had to excuse myself to go laugh.  I never told them the truth, I gave them enough to swallow, chew and then share with the rest of the cotton stuffed animals.  It was a real life fairyland. Why should I share my great life with these educated cartoon chracter's?   I may be a lot of things, but what I am not is insecure and cheap.  There was no way I could afford my lifestyle on that salary.  So of course, I had other incomes, dummy. I came in way ahead of you.  I do not gossip, that's for simple minds and you all proved that all to well that you are completely comfortable with talking about "other" people.  I do know a lot about a lot of ccharacters so Ms. Director, you didn't have to tell me about your reputation, you have done well to brand yourself as the airhead within the most popular of communities, they see you and just smile with sympathy. No one is jealous, trust me.  You spread your poison to tarnish reputations, when yours is in shambles.  (FYI: People who divert their energy on another person's life, simply have no life of their own).    Be careful what you talk about, karma is a bitch in a red dress and she never fails to return her favors.

After I was done with the foolery, my brains could not take any more, I hit the door flying.  I had saved enough chucky cheese coins for the holidays and to bring in the new year with a grand new plan.  Yes, I  have plans and it includes giving myself in a way that may help someone else.  Not for my ego, but my desire to serve others.  My advice, the next time you want to blame someone else for you being incompetent, make sure they are under the age of 5.  Those are the only people that could survive in your jungle gym.  Sally is book smart, but lacks the creativity to be open to other avenues of getting the play area complete and is not a team player, but a team slayer.

This was written with cartoon characters in mind and none of these people exist, at least not in my world.  Just a day in the life at the jungle gym

Smile for the camera.-----chheeeese.

LLW

Just My Experience......

I often hear of women who are having problems with their man, or problems with their relationship.  Those things are bound to happen when two people are trying to come to common ground in each other's lives.  Having a disagreement is not always a bad thing. You get a chance to see where the other person is coming from, that is if you are communicating in a way that allows each person to really say what they feel.  But we can't always blame our unhappiness on the man.  As women, we have to be responsible for who we choose too.

So here's my experience:

1. You can't expect a man to grow up if you keep acting like his mother.  Naturally women cater to the nurturing  role, sometimes while stripping the man of his manhood.  If he needs a mom , let him go to her. You are no competition.

2.  He's only an asshole because you've accepted his asshole behavior.  Why should he change?  If you want to be with him, then you change and accept it.

3.  Men are easy to please.  Their level of complication is limited.  If he is extremely complicated, or never satisfied, then maybe there are other issues that need to be addressed.  It's not your problem to fix.

4.  There are plenty of single men.  And all  the good men are not  married.  Unfortunately, some of the married one's are hanging out like they are single. Don't fall for it.

5.  Don't change yourself to fit his mold.  He has to love you just as you are. Period!

6.  Everything that feels good is not good.  Give that euphoric feeling  that comes in the beginning when love is new some time.  Time reveals truth.

7.  If you just want a sexual relationship, then don't get emotionally involved.  Set the standards from the start.

8.  Never give a man more credit than he deserves.  You are creating a fantasy and setting yourself up for disappointment.  See him for who he is, then decide.

9.  Men are always drawn to different things, don't change to be someone else to get a man like your friend. What works for them, may not work for you.  And it may all seem rosy on the outside; I am sure your friend is not sharing all the dirt.

10. Forget about a timeline. The I need to get married at this time, or I need to have a baby at this time or anything that limits your freedom to enjoy where you are in life.  We are all born at different times for a reason; one reason may be to travel different paths of life.

11.  Don't expect to find prince charming while you are still dealing with frogs.  Be clear, be open, and be single.  There is nothing wrong with enjoying the freedom of being single.

12.  Ladies, it's ok to cater to your man.  A real one will appreciate your trust and your willingness to please.  Make him feel like he is in control, even when we know who really is. ;).

***NEWSFLASH***  You can have anything you want, aim high and believe it!

LLW-Peace & Everlasting Love

Sometimes......

Sometimes people are so occupied with what appears to be right, they lose a sense of what really is.

Sometimes I wish that boy that I loved saw me for who I was instead of who he wanted me to be.

I didn't fit the family profile.

Never mind that I have the intelligence of a woman with a thousand degree's or the beauty that transcends nations. 
He wanted a type....so his loss.

Sometimes the engine that drives you gives out on that politically correct road, there is no return, so where do you go?

Sometimes if you love and follow what that inner voice says, you might just end up happy.

Life has no specific design for anyone, but a puzzle for us to fit, our own pattern, our own way of life.
One chance, one life, no fear or failure, because it is all perfectly designed.

The road blocks, the tears, the disappointments, the pain, the loss, all ultimately lead to victory.

Sometimes if you never give up, that dark road gets a lot brighter, so bright that whatever you imagined it to be becomes obsolete, because something even greater has made it's appearance.

Sometimes if you be honest with self you will find self being happy with who you are at that moment, at that time.

Sometimes if you just check yo' self, you will find what you already know.

A glow, a shine. a gift so impeccably designed that your flaws are perfect. Accept it.

Sometimes. if you just close your eyes, you are already there, that life you desire already exist before you occupy it. 

Let it be.  Just let it come, sometimes.



Advocate for Love, LLW

FreeDUMB!

FreeDUMB! What does that mean to you?

I am a Writer!

I am a writer, so that gives me a freedom that few will experience

I am a writer, the ink in my pen is the gas that fuels the tips of my fingers to give you my soul

I am rock star with the pen, introducing you to my way of thinking and taking you along on this lyrical trip

I lose myself in the characters that I bring to life, someone, someplace, at some time, doing something that brings you to my place of joy or complete satisfaction.

One Woman, These Men!

One Woman, Three Men (Man #1) Fall 2015

There was nothing amazing about him, but his dick. He was somewhat attractive, with his high school education, he was nothing that I would look at twice, but he became the missing piece to an otherwise boring existence.  The attraction I am not sure, our worlds would have never collided, but the convenience was that he did not require all the necessities that a normal man would. I could see him, dismiss him and call him when I wanted more.  Keep him around often enough for him to feel needed, but not enough for him to think that I was in love, or wanted to establish any kind of meaningful relationship. That's what I needed right now, someone who did not ask a lot of questions and who would not interrupt my everyday life.

His innocence to the world was almost unbearable.  He had never traveled outside the state, yet alone the country, not even to the next city.  His life was filled with his hood.  All he knew was his hood.  A life surrounded by drug use and poverty.  He was the perfect candidate for what I  had in mind. He had never been in love, never took care of anything, never strived for anything greater than his environment, just lived a very selfish and useless life, with moments of monetary victories through robberies and taking from others.  Shit, I didn't even know how old he was. That was his life; none of which was my business.  His purpose in my life would be to compete the task of satisfying me until my husband returned from prison; he had 10 more years to go.

It was our first date.  He did not have a car, so I picked him up.  This normally would be a problem for me, but I wasn't in this for the long haul; I was in it for temporary satisfaction.  He lived in the hood.  The same  hood I grew up in and moved away from.  So as I drove my new C-class Mercedes, all eyes were on me, thank god for tinted windows.  I did not want to be seen.

He was dressed in sagging jeans and a white T-shirt, typical B-boy fashion, except he wasn't a b-boy; he lacked the skill to hustle, he was a five and dimer.  He wreaked of weed and vodka, he was happy and loaded, so  I decided to not take this man out in public.  I will start slow and take him to a hotel instead to find out exactly what he was working with.  I needed to test the merchandise of my short-term investment.

After a long night of complete satisfaction, I saw that my husband had called several times, so he had to go.  "Hey Boo".  There is nothing more irritating than hearing a man call you boo, when you have no intention of ever being his boo, so I just looked at him.  "Hey you got some change?  I spent my last on these new kicks an' shit, I did that fa' you".   Here he is wanting me to appreciate him spending his last whatever on himself, that was actually for me, and now he wanted to be reimbursed for it,  ain't that some shit.  I gave him the change because as far as I was concerned I had just fucked Idris Elba or  Denzel Washington.  I don't know who this nigga is, so I gave him the change to go back to where he came from, until I wanted him again.

EXCERPT from SHAME- Love, Lies & Lust

..."But who was I foolin’ this bitch could have me chopped up and mailed to a third world country before I could even formulate the thought to steal her husband.  So I shall obey and play nice".- Shelly Price

©2013- SHAME, Loves, Lies & Lust by L. L. Walton