See Ya' Soon!

Thank you for your part in making my dream of being an author and podcaster remain true,  it means more than I can express.  I am taking time off for some serious self-care and to grieve the loss of my mom.

Please feel free to continue to listen to my podcast and visit my blog. During this time your support and donations will be more than appreciated.  I love and honor you as listeners and readers, so stay tuned the best is yet to come.  

Enjoy the seasons of life and you will hear from me soon.💝💥💋❤

Be Kind. Be Safe. Be Love.💕✨🎉

Lavidus

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Photo credit: Enjoy this article!   Black Women & Self Care

#2023 TheTakeOver

"Relationships"

Does your relationship suck? Are you happy?  Are you satisfied or are you just going through the motions?   What kind of relationship are you in right now? Here we are, we have chosen to co-exist in his conflict of personalities, although we have the approval of our friends and society, we are miserable. Or here we are and we have made it so far, there is no one I'd rather be with than you. What is your reality?

There are several different types of relationships, some work and some do not.  Most relationships are based on the agreement of two people to be faithful,  to just have sex with each other, and to hold hands in public.  Others are more conspicuous, they never show public affection, and are insanely jealous but are in an open relationship.  Whatever works, right?  Who defines your relationship? Is it better to hold on to comfort because it's familiar or is it too costly to take a risk on what you really want?

Relationships fall into one of three categories, or maybe all three.  If there are other categories, please chime in, I would love to know your status.  

1. We have been together so long that we are no longer lovers, just friends.  The love is there, but not really.  At this point, it will be too hard to start over and no one puts up with my shit better than you. Although the kids are grown and we are still together this relationship has been over for a very long time and I am just waiting on you to get hit by a bus, Love you.

2.  I love you, but my feelings have changed. I would tell you but the divorce will be too costly and the image we have created together will crumble.  So we will continue to pretend as if we are happy, just like our friends. How embarrassing it would be for our marriage to not last longer than theirs?  I will just have a small affair every now and again and pretend I don't know about your shenanigans and we'll come together on special occasions, and holidays, ok? 

3. It's always new.  You look at each other and you are able to bring out that same fire from day one.  You have had your bad days and you have had your good days, but you have always had each other, so the storms have never been lonely.  People can feel the love between the two of you and it makes them happy.   You give, you serve and you love each other and it shows.

Relationships are always what you make them.  You choose the person, and the time you spend.  Love is whatever you say it is, that definition is up to you.   Relationships help to define us, change us, and to make us better.  Hopefully, you are in a relationship that brings out the best in you even when you are not feeling your best.  Hopefully, you are in a relationship that makes you feel like the greatest, even when you do feel great.  If you are not in a fulfilling relationship, hopefully, you have the courage to change it.  Be with someone who you can completely be naked with, with your clothes on.  Find that love, be that love and you cannot go wrong.

Peace & Love

Teena Marie- Square Biz  💚💚💋Happy Friday!!

Lavidus

Intentional Living

Are you living your life with intention or are you on auto-pilot?  Are you doing the same thing every day, with no variation to the program?  Does your environment support your health?  Why do we live so vicariously through people who are living fake lives instead of honoring and recognizing those who are innovators, the rebellious, the thinkers, and the doers?  The creators, the people who are truly in touch with themselves and unattached to outcomes.  How intentionally are you living?

Every day I wake up, I am grateful, but often I have no real plan and I don't have it all figured out.  I only hope to check off a few things from my to-do list and enjoy my day.  I used to give myself a lot to people, situations, jobs and often found myself with little to give myself.   Once I decided to change that, I began to see the true nature of those people who benefited from my kindness.  It made me even more aware of how much I gave of myself with little in return.  One thing I know about givers is they never really expect anything, they find joy in someone else's joy, but they also can get exhausted and resentful if given to the wrong people or situations.  I decided to go inside and find the core of what I am about and why a lot of things just had to be.  I had to be betrayed to find my strength.  I had to make a few bad decisions to find a better way.  

When you go on that journey of self-discovery you find out a little about who you are each day.  Each day you build on that and become stronger in who you are and in what you believe.  Knowing yourself is essential to healthy living, essential to those necessary boundaries, and essential to how you decide to proceed through life. Each day we decide if it will be a  continuation of the previous day or a whole new day to do something different.  It is always our decision.  If there are any distractions, obstacles, or unexpected things that come up throughout the day, take a moment to think about how you will handle them.  

 

How much time are you spending doing exactly what you want to do?  How often are you in the presence of people who uplift, accept, and love you just as you are?  You do not have to be anyone else but yourself to receive love,  have success, and anything else you want in this world.  But first, accept who you are.  Accept the shitty parts of yourself, as well as the great.  

Self-acceptance is very powerful because it takes away the judgment of others and it forces them to accept what's different and it forces you to stand in that power.  Oftentimes, it also forces those who oppose you to either look at themselves and their actions and accept who they are or fall deeper into the abyss of self-denial. Again, you choose.  

 Life becomes a simple place to exist when you are intentional with your thoughts and actions.  Not only are you aware of what you are doing, but you are also creating your desired outcome. When you are taking care of yourself, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually you are also helping taking care of others. When you spend an exorbitant about of time thinking about what someone else is doing, stalking, gossiping, and complaining, you are taking away from yourself and voluntarily giving up your power to people who barely even think of you.

Aaliyah- At Your Best ( You Are Love)💝💝💖

Peace & Love

Lavidus

Open Mind

Do you have an open mind?  Do you see things clearly or as you want them to be?  Can you accept opinions and beliefs that differ from yours without any judgment?    Do we all need to be doing and saying the same things in order to make progress?   I value your difference.  I don't need you to always understand where I am coming from, just respect the difference.   I enjoy hearing opinions that are different from mine because it offers the opportunity to learn something new.  I hold no preconceived notions other than the character that an individual may present to me.  How open are you to accepting the things that you do not understand?

It is natural for us to judge. Our mind requires us to come to some conclusions about how we engage and it helps us to create our perception of who we are engaging with.  How willing are you to put all your restraining beliefs behind you and accept the difference of the person you are judging.  Are you open enough to allow a person to introduce themselves before you cast them in a category based on your experience?

Having an open mind means you are willing to consider other perspectives or at least try new experiences.   An open mind can be the introduction to a whole new world.   A person who does not know how far they can go because they limit themselves will not expect you to go any further than what they can conceive.  Our limitations are not always intentional. Some are programmed, others are chosen and some are not even aware of their limits or can understand how a person can be limitless.

We are all subject to our beginnings. Within that beginning are conditions and those conditions help develop who we are, what we believe, and how we think. It has been made impossible for us to all be the exact same. You can have six siblings who grew up in the same household, and each one will have a different perception of what that experience was.  We are all in the same household sharing a different experience and somewhere in all of who you are, in who we are, lies the gift.  That gift is recognizing who you are and what you bring to the world. You are important, you are important and you are very important.   People have a tendency to believe that importance and monetary value are the same and it is not.  There are people with a lot less who are more willing to give you the shirt off their backs and give you some of what they have because no matter what their experience has been, they are not so out of touch with the human experience and are still able to give.

When you do not have an open mind and are not open to new experiences you are choosing to practice a form of ignorance.   Imagine judging someone who has experienced life differently than you. A person who has gained and experienced life through their own personal lens and you judge them and call them ignorant because you do not understand.  How would you feel to be judged by what you don’t know, instead of who you really are?  Everyone will not wake up, and that is part of their purpose.

 

Life is pretty simple.  We all want to be loved, accepted, and respected.  For a moment forget about race, forget about time, forget about all the injustices of the world and just love someone today. Forgive someone today. Be sweet and kind because it's free.  We are all experiencing this battle for our souls. This urgent buildup of something new, this breakthrough, this new way of existing, and believe me, it's here.    Open your mind and visualize what you want to see in the world and be just that.  

Chaka Khan-Angel

Peace & Love

Lavidus

Celebrity Knews!

If you listen to my podcast you will know that I rarely talk about current events.  I rarely talk about celebrities or politicians or comment on too many fluff stories.  Some are just characters playing their part in the world, designed for a specific purpose and some are not.  I have noticed a slight trend that will soon affect you and me.   How important is it to be able to say what you want to say?  What if your opinion is offensive to a group of people or a religion, should you not be able to have or share that opinion?  What if you wore your opinion on a t-shirt?  When practicing your free speech, should you be banned and shut down or honored and respected?  

A few recent events have piqued my interest in the celebrity world.  Let’s begin with Andrew Tate, (who oooozzeess confidence among other things) who has been banned from all social media outlets because of his opinion on women or was he speaking facts?   Are these the same social media outlets that will only show my videos if I show some ass, or expose some cleavage or do some really dumb shit, you mean all of a sudden care about women?  Do you mean to tell me the social media outlets that shadowban, and that has a debilitated algorithm really care about women?   Oh ok. 

Let's move on to Kanye "Genius" West, who apparently said something anti-semitic, and was banned from all social media outlets. He must have said something that was true because if it was a lie, why protect it so much?    These news outlets speak lies all day every day and no one has shut them down.  Why?    I am not one to force-feed you information, and hold your hand and lead you to the promised land, we have several other people for that. However, I do believe Kanye has planted a seed, what are you going to do with it?  

Are we slowly approaching the dismantling of our free speech?  Your opinion does not matter unless it supports the current agenda.    Everybody is offended and wants to cry about a long gone past when we should be focused on the here and now.  "The future is not promised, but it is there for the taking."   When people can be shut down for speaking an opinion in the form of truth, then you just may be next.   To those who are offended about everything, you need some healing.   You shouldn't be allowing a person's words to control how you feel about yourself. This particular paradigm is made to keep you in a low vibrational state.  It's designed to keep you experiencing things that make you feel, sad, lonely, and hopeless and it is currently clashing with the higher frequency that is already here.  So the truth has to be told. The truth has to rise to the surface and if you are on the right side of truth, you will too. 

Andrew Tate and Kanye West are just a few examples of people getting shut down for speaking what they know to be the truth.  Are these social media outlets really protecting us, or preventing us from knowing the truth?  They have given us this drug and now since we are addicted and can use it to our advantage, you want to take it away or control how we use it.  That's not what drug dealers do.  Well, maybe we should just get off the drug, start detoxing right now and put social media on a skinny diet because we are the people that hold the power of their existence, not the other way around.

 In this modern world, you should be able to voice your opinion and your beliefs, without anyone getting offended because you can either agree or disagree.  Why should I hold my tongue because you are not mature enough to accept an opinion that is in contrast to yours?  Why should I not share what my experience is, because you have not experienced it?   If you want me to believe in your dubious stand for me, remind me of my resistance, strength, and the uniqueness of my DNA.  Constantly reminding me that my ancestors were slaves, or that we were victims of brutality, and treated unfairly is not empowering.  I can turn on the news for that.  Stop watching movies that do not reflect where you are going.  It's one thing to be entertained, but if you would notice, do you really need to be constantly reminded of the past?  The past is dead and gone.

 Is Andrew Tate really as misogynistic as they say he is, for being what he believes is a man?   Is Kanye West so wrong for saying who he believes are the real Jews?  He is not being any more offensive than the people who pretend they are black.  Pay attention.   Keep empowering yourselves with the truth, because it does set you free.  Continue to watch what is being said and who is saying it.  As things become more convoluted, even more things will become clear, because nothing is what it seems, including me.

Kanye West-Flashing Lights   

Peace & Love

Lavidus

When It's Good to You, But Not Good for You

Greetings Beautiful People....💋💜💛💚

Owwww have you ever had something that was so good to you but not good for you?  Why is it that the hardest people and things to let go of are the things that provide us with the greatest high, but just simply is not good?  Things that we have to sneak to get it or that are tempting just feel better when we get them, right?  Whether it's people, places, or things,  re we really addicted, is that forbidden fruit that appealing? Or is it just something that we need to experience in order to get to where we need to be?

I used to love this man.  At least I thought I loved him,  I loved what he did with his magic wand.  I loved how he could maneuver around my body.  I loved how he could conquer and revive, ya know what I mean?  Had me completely blind to the facts.  But silly me, those were moments that I thought it was love.  He knew exactly what it really was because that's how he operated.  I thought well damn, it can't be this good with everybody?   Turns out it wasn't but he didn't find that out until he left and tried to come back.  Anyway... It didn't matter how good or bad it was, he was serving it up like hotcakes during Sunday Brunch. He was spreading it around like almond butter with all the nuts.   I could have easily chosen to continue to be blind, but what it was and what it wasn't became even more and more obvious and neither of us could not ignore the facts. .  He belonged over there and I belonged up there. We were on different shelves of life and I didn't have time for him to catch up. And besides, just because he looks the part, does not mean he knows the part.   

One more donut is good to you but may not be good for you.

One more night might be good to you, but may not be good for you.

Telling that lie might sound good to you, but in the long run, may not be good for you.

I know we all have experienced something that was so so bad but felt so so good, temporarily.  But for the love of ourselves, in order to keep our sanity and self-respect, we must let go of those relationships that only provide moments of happiness and years of despair. Let go of that job that seems to just drains you and keeps you from what you really want.  Letting go of that one-sided love, letting go of living an unfulfilled life.  I know that toxic shit can feel so good, temporarily.  But once you fully let go, you'll realize it wasn't the toxic shit that felt good, it was what you imagined it to be, you kept being disappointed by what you hoped it to be.  You created your own disappointment by believing something that you knew wasn't true.   There is strength in our lessons so don't be afraid of making mistakes, it's your chance to change and be honest with who you really are.   Learn to love yourself enough to know when something is good to you, but not good for you. 

Chocolate Love- Sanura & Raheem DeVaughn

Peace & Love

Lavidus

Are You A Compliment or Insult?

 Does the person in your life compliment you?  Are they a true representation of who you are and what you love for?   One person may look at your relationship and not understand the connection, but see the love. Another may not see the love, but understand why you are together.  I believe when it comes to choosing partners, lovers, wives, etc. you should be able to compliment each other, not just physically, but spiritually as well.   Whomever you decide to lock it down with, that person represents a part of you.  Look at the person you love, the person you are married to, or the person you are dating.   Yes, that's how you feel inside.  So, are you a compliment or an insult?  

Would you want someone to tell you you're the best, even when you are not?   Or would you want to be accepted and loved just as you are, flaws and all?   When you compliment someone you are also complimenting yourself, you are acknowledging yourself in them. There is no way you can be in a relationship with someone and not see parts of yourself, whether you like those parts or not, that person you have chosen represents a part of who you are.   If someone is acknowledging that you are not the best or the most intelligent, they are also acknowledging that in themselves.   If someone is loving you, accepting you, and giving you all they got, it's because they have that love within themselves to give. You cannot see (yourself) something in someone else and not acknowledge it in yourself.

Make me believe that I am exceptional from the rest, or make me feel special and not just someone you can get because you can not get anyone else.  What people fail to understand is love does not require you to lie to make the other person feel better about themselves.  Love does not require you to validate the unstable actions and mental state of someone who is truly incapable of maintaining a healthy relationship, because now you're married.  One of the sweetest things about love is you do not have to be too much of anything to receive it.   You do not have to be the best at anything.  You don't have to be perfect.  You just have to be able to share and reciprocate and be the yang to my yin.

Are you brave enough to love who you love?   Does the man or woman in your life compliment you?  People often say that life is short and time waits on no one, but there are millions of people living in relationships that they regret, being misrepresented by the person they love.  They won't even walk down the street and hold your hand, because they have made up their mind that you do not represent them.   Make sure you are with someone who truly represents who you are and who can love all sides of you. You do not want someone who will just compliment you behind closed doors.

Peace & Love

Lavidus

Please Don't Date Me-100 More Reasons Why (AudioBook)