Why Do We Love Bad Boys......

Bad boys, the name say's it all. We often find ourselves wanting the man that has the edge, the one that is so exciting, thinks he's god gift to women, but don't give a shit about our feelings, yet keep us wanting more. And god forbid if the sex if incredible, that makes it even harder for us to leave. We all want that kind of excitement, the unpredictable nature of a man who is so unstable, we swear we can fix him, even upgrade him perhaps. But remember, he already comes into the relationship knowing who he is and knowing what he wants, so whatever plan you have for him is not even as big as the plan he has for you. Even the smartest of women fall for this kind of man. The allure is irresistible.

NEWS FLASH: Bad boys do not like other bad girls. They like the innocent, they like the strong, but not that strong. They also like a challenge, but in a different way than we do. They may have a bad girl as a side chick, because she might do things that "other" girl won't, either way, you won't be his one and only. And if he say's you are, then good luck with that.

I've had my share of bad boys. I must say the adventure was great, but it was not worth the pain I felt when I decided that this kind of "love" was not for me. As soon as I realized that this man will never change, I then began to make my own assessment of why I choose him in the first place. I knew that he was not marriage material, but he kept me on my toe's, and challenged me mentally. I knew he could never take care of me, but yet I invited him to be a part of my life. I just knew he was not good for me in the long run, but I was just too concerned with the short of it. I knew it! Thats why sometimes it's hard for me to believe that when woman who get involved with a man who is bad for them, are completely oblivious to what she is getting into. She is blind because she wants to be blind. We sometimes ignore the obvious and look for things that we won't ever see. We are intuitive creatures and we know, we just refuse to recognize, and that's where the trouble begins. There are some women who have no clue how to filter their emotions and logical thinking. They put that logical thinking on the side and go completely with our emotions. Relationship after relationship, coughing up the same result. That is backwards, we also have to be logical when inviting men into our hearts, and I am not sure when if ever will a bad boy be worth the investment. We are responsible for who and what we invite in our lives. The I don't know what happened, or how could he do this to me? syndrome is for teenagers.

There are some reformed bad boy's. After years of moving around, never making a commitment and being just overly tired of the drama, he might ultimately settle down with the chick that he has given the most troubles to. The one that stayed around until he actually grew up. That in turn makes her a real bad girl, because she supposedly tamed a bad boy, I guess. Or he might choose a young chick that does not know any better, all she knows is that he breaks her off and whispering "daddy" to him every now and then is enough. Whatever the case and the cause, please understand, there is nothing wrong with dating a bad boy, they are good if you just want to have a good time, with no commitments and get tuned up every now and then. But if you want love, you can find it in any man who is willing to not only complete you, but fulfill your every need, cater to your emotions and support you in every way. And guess what? You won't have to pay his cell phone bill for it to happen.

L, Peace and Love

Ok...soooooo

After a 6 month stint in what seemed like dating prison (3 months to get in and 3 months probation) I have regained my composure, gathered my thoughts and ready to get back into the dating game. Although I almost hate to refer to it as a "game" but that is what it is. You pass, you receive, you pass again, you slam dunk or you miss, then the clock starts all over again. I must admit I have not made some great choices as of late, but hey, I have got to meet some very interesting people along the way and I always believe as an evolving human being we should always be open to connect to other human beings. One of the reason's why people cheat, that desire to connect to something new. Anyway, another day another time. We may not always know a person's purpose in our lives, but I am sure if we thought long and hard we can find a lesson, whether good or bad, there is always a lesson. Once the lesson is presented we either continue on that same path or make some changes. When you do something different, you get different results. I could never date someone from 10 years ago, not only am I different, but if I dumped you then, there is no chance now. I never recycle the pool, not for anything serious anyway.

The first of week of my decision to get back out there, was not so great. I was not a dating fanatic before, but the stuff, I mean the men that are out there now seem a little jaded about the roles they are suppose to play in the life of a woman, well at least in the life of this woman. For example, upon meeting me one asked if I had my drink money, no silly, I don't buy drinks on the regular and if you are not buying drinks, then move along. Another asked, can you give me a kiss on the cheek, no sir, I don't know you, and even though you look like a nice piece of chocolate I refuse to place my lips on a face that I just meet, sorry. These things are simple to me, just plain etiquette per say. I do not have a laundry list of what I expect, although there are certain qualities I am attracted to. I just hope that when he opens his mouth the things that come out of it is as attractive as the package. Like a friend of mine said, "Do not have "high" expectations, just have expectations and the men who do not belong there will get weeded out". Especially when you already know what you do not like. We come already knowing what floats our boats, so that alone eliminates a lot. Even when we marry the "ideal" mate, we always tend to see other's that we are attracted to, don't blame me, it's human nature. Do not trick yourself into believing that this prince charming will be perfect, just perfect for you, if you allow him to be. I believe in love, attraction, lust and all that good stuff, but I also believe in building relationships, getting to know someone because there is no quick fix for a broken heart.

So as I embark upon making new friends and ending old one's, I am looking forward to this journey. I am excited because that is the story of my life, it's never a dull moment.


L, Peace & Love

Book Signing and Discussion

I had the pleasure of meeting with a few women who wanted to have a round table discussion about my book and other relationship issues and resolutions. We had a blast!

Please Don't Date Me-100 Reasons Why
L.L. Walton
http://www.amazon.com/Please-Dont-Date-Me-Reasons/dp/143276151X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1318313437&sr=8-1

Excerpt from NEW BOOK SHAME, Love, Lies & Lust

SARAH GREEN: The Socialite

My name is Sarah Green. I am a mother, wife and a friend of very few. I am married to a wealthy man whom I fell deeply in love with 10 years ago. Although I love my husband, I also hate what we have become. Our marriage has taken on a form of its own. He lives his life and I've created mine; financially we come together. Yes, he brought me a long way from the streets of San Francisco. A long way that I will never go back to. Sometimes it's a sad and lonely existence, but one that is remedied by small doses of cocaine and prescription marijuana.
I know my husband is having an affair. Any woman who claims she doesn't know when her man is seeking pleasures from another woman, is silly, uninvolved and should be cheated on. In this particular situation, I know he is having an affair because I set the whole thing up. He is having an affair with a man who is now a woman, and a beautiful woman at that. I know that my husband is weak. He only has power in the board room. Every where else he is a frail little boy waiting to be rescued by a blow job that's tainted with love. I guess I could yell, scream and be mad that he took the bait, but that would also mean that I would be surprised and right now I am not. She keeps him busy while I do what I want. With all this money, I do more than just shop. I make full use of my time and body.....

AMANDA RAE JONES: The Vixen

.....my step-father was a baptist preacher and my mother was a fool. He screwed everyone from the church secretary to the mother's of the church, all in the name of God. He also fathered two children with two different women. Women my mother brought into the church. Yes, she stayed and continued to praise God on the front left pew of the church every Sunday as if nothing was happening all around her. I guess if you do not acknowledge that something exist, then it probably really doesn't. She not only lived in denial she created it and rowed in it often in her little canoe. I guess it was a place of comfort for her. Her idea of being strong was not facing anything and going on with life like it was a perfect sunny day, even during a winter storm. I would have preferred her to be a drug addict that way at least she would be dealing with something. This denial thing is a silent killer and I believe at some point my mother began her silent death. It was a place that I never wanted to be . Religion and it's flaws, I had had enough. I grew up quick and empty. That's all you need to know, all that other shit in between is really none of your business.

KEVEN: The Gaysexual
I am a man who enjoys fucking men. I have a relationship with a woman who I adore sometimes, but there is something that a man gives me that she never will. There is an unfulfilled desire that is left lingering after I have been with a woman that is never there after I have been with a man. I am not sure if that makes me bi-sexual or just sexual. I have several children whom I have lost contact with and she has no idea that I have. Why bring up something you are not sure about. I have been in and out of jail so many times, that is seems like my second home. Every since I was 13 I have been trying to make it, just trying to hustle here and there.
.....When I meet Elizabeth she had a very nice smile. Her eyes were piercing and inviting. She was a nice curvy woman, although she seemed a little insecure about it, I loved that about her. Even in my least manly moments I needed a woman to hold on to. At first, we had good times and good sex. I liked being with her. She accepted me and all my misfortune, somewhere deep I loved her. But I knew that I needed him, I knew that whenever I would get out of jail we would be back at it. Something in me desired him more and her less.........

Have You Ever Been Dickmatized? (Adult Content)

Have you ever been dickmatized?

I know your thinking oh hell no! No, Not me! Well, if you have ever been in a relationship where the sex is immaculate and the man is not, then you have been dickmatized. He probably does not have a job, no education, no car, no real dreams or anything as such, but he can slang that 'D", so you put up with things that you normally would not because once he is inside you, you forget about all that other stuff that really should matter. Jill Scott said it best. "Where you get caught up in the whole sexuality of your relationship but it’s not going anywhere… Just somebody giving you the goods but not necessarily giving you the rest-or not expecting the rest from them.”

Being dickmatized is nothing to be embarrassed about. We as women have all fallen into some trap to make us believe that yes it will get better. We believe one day he will get a job or leave from off my couch or be able to take me out to dinner or sincerely care about me. Yes, that is that dick in action. It clouds our mental vision and creates an illusion of what we hope to be. It keeps us posted in that position until the next time he takes us to climax heaven. The tragedy comes in when we invest in the dick for the long-term and even sometimes marry the dick. Ladies, that is something you never do. You find yourself letting the dick drive your car, and you buying it clothes, food or even providing shelter for the dick. Let that dick go! If you are not ready to let the dick go and is finding it hard to say no, just think of your value and what you really want in a relationship. If you then find that all you need at this moment is some good dick, then have at it, break that mofo off! But do not invest more into it then it is investing in you.

There is no one that enjoys sex as much as I do, and having a healthy loving relationship where you are treated like a Queen and where love is reciprocated,is far more greater than just what a good dick can provide. Dick's come and go (literally). That is what they do, when you get tired of it, it will be more than happy to move on to the next, that's what it does, that's how it is, enjoy it for what it is and you too can move on. Trust me it does get better, but only if you require it to. It may have been the best dick you ever had, so you think, but dick is only as good as you are. Don't be desperate for the dick. You can not go around making dick demands when you have put up with it for years. The dick does not change. Beside's, as a woman you hold the key, your va-jayjay is way more powerful than his dick. (Those of you who do not know that, I will explain later).

I am writing this because I too, had to let go of some good ass dick. I can not even explain how sensational it was. For about 3 months it had complete power over me and I allowed it to happen. I found myself saying I love him, when I really just loved the dick. It was crazy! How could this be happening, I know better than this! Then one day I just snapped out of it. I intentionally created a nice ambience, bought champagne and candles for my last romp with this dick, then I said farewell. Once it was gone, I regained my power. I accepted it for what it was and considered it to be a test. I could have accepted the dick and that half ass man I was getting, but I needed more and those sexual sessions was not enough.

Now I am more prepared and ready to welcome a more fulfilling and realistic relationship; I have always been the monogamous type, that good dick was just a sidebar. I have no regrets about my decision to have a relationship with some good dick, every girl should have at least one. Just know when it's time to move on and let that good dick go and replace it with some good love.


Lavidus

The Change.....

There is so much I want to say, but you have probably heard it before.

There is so much that you should know, but you probably don't realize it.

L.L.Walton

The Luxury of Life

Do you really know what the luxury of life is?

Do you wake up to breakfast in bed. Do you live where there is an endless ocean view? Is it money that never runs out? How important is that life, when happiness is free? There are those that live that life and are the saddest people on the earth. I do not have much, but I am rich in love and I can truly say that I am doing better than most because I am thankful for all that God has given. For me, it is not the material things that you can see that might display my level of happiness, it is in my conversation, my giving, my time and my decision to spread happiness where ever I go. If I have $2 dollars giving half to a complete stranger is pure happiness to me. I teach to give, because holding on to whatever assets you glorify can be easily taken away. Taking a moment to share is a deposit into the gates of heaven. Helping another with sincerity opens the heart to receive abundantly. I know this, I experience it almost daily. It is how I have survived even through some of the hardest days and nights.

I have been given a lot and I have gave a lot. I did not realize that there are so many people who find me deserving of all that is good. You rarely find people who would give you the moon if that would make me happy, but I have that in my life. I will also add that that love is not there because I have a big house, a nice car, an ivy league education or thousands in the bank. It is there because of my character. I have a sincere interest in the happiness of others. I want everyone who tries to succeed. I believe there is more than enough success on this earth to share and we all can have a piece of the pie, so get yours. I must warn you, you will not get your rewards by cheating, lying, stealing or pretending. The quest has to be pure and willing. The universe supplies every need. Whatever thought you process in mind, it can come into existence, like a well written movie.

So I ask again, what is your luxury of life? Are you giving and receiving abundantly? If there is anything you need to change or recreate in your life, you can. It begins with you. The luxury is the reward of life and whatever it holds for you.

Peace and Love:)

It's been A long time......and I may never come back

I always tend to find it amazing when the course of life changes so much and so fast that when you wake up and realize what road you're on it's too late, the crash is already in progress. What can you do? Do you hope that you survive or do you hope death is the final answer to life's unexpected questions.
I know that I am not living the life that I want, but only I can change that. When you are unstable and think you have it almost together then boom! It's all over, something else appears. Something that makes you want to give up on life altogether. Something that can only hinder you in the long run. It is such an unfamiliar place that you go over in your head how you arrived at this location in the first place. You're smarter than that. You have convinced yourself that this is the right choice even though you have no idea what you have chosen. When the mask starts to peel away, you find that you've made a serious mistake. One that can not be recovered,one that you may never recover from. Even God is looking at you in dismay.
So the tears continue because the truth was never told. You're still trying to make it right, but you know deep inside there is no room for hope, so you die slowly. I never ask why. I know why. Somewhere at sometime the universe decided that I needed and wanted this. That I will never get the life I so really want because the devil works overtime on those who try to get from under the blanket of fate. So the fear sets in. You call it happiness, because that's what you want to see, when the real is that you are miserable and everything you touch will be. So another battle I fight and I anticipate the sleepless nights, because there is no answer for those who never know what real life is. Lies,lies, the lies, they have to continue because you bought the first one. But I know better right? Of course I do, so now I must put it all to an end, what other choice do I have? You can't love a species that's never been loved, not even from the womb. What you live by is what you die by. There is no happy ending for those who cause heartache and pain. I was chosen because I looked the part. Easy prey because I have an heart. A dream stealer because it has no dreams of it's own. So again I must stand up, fight my own battle, be my own hero and save my own life, because all around me are my enemies, no one to help or set me free.


Peace.

Gettin' older and Better

I know I should be embarrassed for taking this long to blog, but life is kicking in real fast and I just got a chance to slow down.

It's really a new year and as the second week glides on through I will have aged by Friday, by one year. One fast year, and I heard they get even faster as you get older. No, I am not complaining, I've looked to this age since I was half this age and it is something about getting there that makes me appreciate the journey. I had no idea what I would be doing. Maybe the marriage with kids, corporate job and all that American pie stuff. I have done some of it, but the road I am traveling now is up to the almighty and its wide open. The possibilities are endless and I am up for the surprises, focusing on all that is good and expanding my mind. I am appreciating my body and nourishing my spirit.

I am no longer "watching" my figure, but watching it form into nothing but woman. My thick thighs that wrap around his body are perfectly formed for touch and admiration. The thickness in my waist is there so I can appreciate the ass that has formed beneath it. I am woman and I love it! I am no longer concerned about the young chicks that because I "look" their age think they can compete. No,my child I am in a league you could only dream to be in, no competition here; Shiiit I pulled a dude your age yesterday,now who's the competition?

I am loving me even more. Congratulating myself for never compromising, even when I wasn't sure. I am confident in my growth, my decisions and mistakes. I am a growing flower that's rooted in soil that is moist and fertile, you dirt lovers need not apply. I am on a mission of fulfilling my dreams and living them, with few stops along the way. I am moving in an unstoppable motion that only God orchestrates, so I wait for my next instrument to be used. I am in love, a love that is so strong it can be felt for miles; this time I recognized it. I am ready to fly,soar above all to see. So take a seat and enjoy the show.


Peace and Love:<>

Happy New Year!

OMG! can't believe we are finally here in the 2011! My birthday is in about 8 days. January13th. The luckiest number in the world.


Smooches, tune in for new updates, dating scenarios and experiences.

L.L