Missing Her

I miss my daughter. She is the light of my life and the reason I am trying so many avenues to make her happy and to secure her future. My daughter means everything to me.
I am a single mom and if you are single mom, you know how it is. It is not a easy job. I moved from California to Atlanta in order to search and find what it is that I truly want in this life. I have always loved writing, but I can only write when I am alone and my thoughts are clear. For the last year or so many things have been misplaced and out of order for me, yet through it all God has never left me.

This is one of the many sacrifices you make now to make things greater later. If you have ever sacrificed anything for someone you love, then you know what I mean. My daughter is the only constant thing in my life, that supplies an endless amount of love and understanding. She understands me more than most adults. I support her and she supports me. We have the most beautiful relationship a mother can have with her daughter. She is my gift from God, for her I'll do anything to ensure her comfort. Though being away from each other and me being the only parent in her life, it must be hard for her as well. No grandma or grandpa, auntie or uncle can take the place of her mommy and I know that. So I thank her for being strong as well. Soon we'll be together again, that day cannot come soon enough.

Now that I am here writing, I have grown in many ways. I have become more confident in my writing and less concerned about people. No longer will I down play my talents or intelligence to make people feel comfortable around me. I am intelligent first, God just happened to make be beautiful, talented, sexy, witty and all the above. I am super-natural...lol. Yes, tooting my own horn is something I have been reluctant to do. Now, I am embracing just being fabulous, eveyday. Just loving who I am as a woman and who I am becoming as a person, it's such a great feeling and wonderful place. I have let my past control my future long enough. God could not have planned my life better, I have lived it just the way he planned and with no regrets. I believe in doing and living how you want to. Life is too short to live by circumstances, or be in a relationship you don't like, work at a job you can't stand, put up with people who don't care about you. Get rid of all that, free yourself!

It's amazing that you think people may know you, but then they give you advice and you find out they do not have a clue as to who you are. People only treat you how you allow them to. People even make up ways you should be based on the time table of their life. People judge, and that is the most dangerous flaw in human nature. Walk a day in my shoe's then tell me how to live. People close to you, put you down, when they have never been up themselves. The enemy is always working, and I must admit it has done a great job on me for most of my life. That chapter is over.

God takes us through things, when greatness is on the horizon. God is always preparing us for the next phase of our lives, either we are prepared or we are not. My life has never been easy. There is nothing simple about me, I am as complicated as they come. I have had so many experiences and I could have given up, but I am still here climbing that mountain to what is my destiny, while learning to embrace what's to come and share my story. Without this path that came with wrong directions, missed signs and ditches, I would not be the woman I am. I had to find my own way. The journey is not over, this is a new beginning again.

Yes, at this moment I miss my baby so much, but I know in the end all of this would have been worth it.

I love you Special Lee.