See Ya' Soon!

Thank you for your part in making my dream of being an author and podcaster remain true,  it means more than I can express.  I am taking time off for some serious self-care and to grieve the loss of my mom.

Please feel free to continue to listen to my podcast and visit my blog. During this time your support and donations will be more than appreciated.  I love and honor you as listeners and readers, so stay tuned the best is yet to come.  

Enjoy the seasons of life and you will hear from me soon.💝💥💋❤

Be Kind. Be Safe. Be Love.💕✨🎉

Lavidus

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Photo credit: Enjoy this article!   Black Women & Self Care

#2023 TheTakeOver

"Relationships"

Does your relationship suck? Are you happy?  Are you satisfied or are you just going through the motions?   What kind of relationship are you in right now? Here we are, we have chosen to co-exist in his conflict of personalities, although we have the approval of our friends and society, we are miserable. Or here we are and we have made it so far, there is no one I'd rather be with than you. What is your reality?

There are several different types of relationships, some work and some do not.  Most relationships are based on the agreement of two people to be faithful,  to just have sex with each other, and to hold hands in public.  Others are more conspicuous, they never show public affection, and are insanely jealous but are in an open relationship.  Whatever works, right?  Who defines your relationship? Is it better to hold on to comfort because it's familiar or is it too costly to take a risk on what you really want?

Relationships fall into one of three categories, or maybe all three.  If there are other categories, please chime in, I would love to know your status.  

1. We have been together so long that we are no longer lovers, just friends.  The love is there, but not really.  At this point, it will be too hard to start over and no one puts up with my shit better than you. Although the kids are grown and we are still together this relationship has been over for a very long time and I am just waiting on you to get hit by a bus, Love you.

2.  I love you, but my feelings have changed. I would tell you but the divorce will be too costly and the image we have created together will crumble.  So we will continue to pretend as if we are happy, just like our friends. How embarrassing it would be for our marriage to not last longer than theirs?  I will just have a small affair every now and again and pretend I don't know about your shenanigans and we'll come together on special occasions, and holidays, ok? 

3. It's always new.  You look at each other and you are able to bring out that same fire from day one.  You have had your bad days and you have had your good days, but you have always had each other, so the storms have never been lonely.  People can feel the love between the two of you and it makes them happy.   You give, you serve and you love each other and it shows.

Relationships are always what you make them.  You choose the person, and the time you spend.  Love is whatever you say it is, that definition is up to you.   Relationships help to define us, change us, and to make us better.  Hopefully, you are in a relationship that brings out the best in you even when you are not feeling your best.  Hopefully, you are in a relationship that makes you feel like the greatest, even when you do feel great.  If you are not in a fulfilling relationship, hopefully, you have the courage to change it.  Be with someone who you can completely be naked with, with your clothes on.  Find that love, be that love and you cannot go wrong.

Peace & Love

Teena Marie- Square Biz  💚💚💋Happy Friday!!

Lavidus

Intentional Living

Are you living your life with intention or are you on auto-pilot?  Are you doing the same thing every day, with no variation to the program?  Does your environment support your health?  Why do we live so vicariously through people who are living fake lives instead of honoring and recognizing those who are innovators, the rebellious, the thinkers, and the doers?  The creators, the people who are truly in touch with themselves and unattached to outcomes.  How intentionally are you living?

Every day I wake up, I am grateful, but often I have no real plan and I don't have it all figured out.  I only hope to check off a few things from my to-do list and enjoy my day.  I used to give myself a lot to people, situations, jobs and often found myself with little to give myself.   Once I decided to change that, I began to see the true nature of those people who benefited from my kindness.  It made me even more aware of how much I gave of myself with little in return.  One thing I know about givers is they never really expect anything, they find joy in someone else's joy, but they also can get exhausted and resentful if given to the wrong people or situations.  I decided to go inside and find the core of what I am about and why a lot of things just had to be.  I had to be betrayed to find my strength.  I had to make a few bad decisions to find a better way.  

When you go on that journey of self-discovery you find out a little about who you are each day.  Each day you build on that and become stronger in who you are and in what you believe.  Knowing yourself is essential to healthy living, essential to those necessary boundaries, and essential to how you decide to proceed through life. Each day we decide if it will be a  continuation of the previous day or a whole new day to do something different.  It is always our decision.  If there are any distractions, obstacles, or unexpected things that come up throughout the day, take a moment to think about how you will handle them.  

 

How much time are you spending doing exactly what you want to do?  How often are you in the presence of people who uplift, accept, and love you just as you are?  You do not have to be anyone else but yourself to receive love,  have success, and anything else you want in this world.  But first, accept who you are.  Accept the shitty parts of yourself, as well as the great.  

Self-acceptance is very powerful because it takes away the judgment of others and it forces them to accept what's different and it forces you to stand in that power.  Oftentimes, it also forces those who oppose you to either look at themselves and their actions and accept who they are or fall deeper into the abyss of self-denial. Again, you choose.  

 Life becomes a simple place to exist when you are intentional with your thoughts and actions.  Not only are you aware of what you are doing, but you are also creating your desired outcome. When you are taking care of yourself, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually you are also helping taking care of others. When you spend an exorbitant about of time thinking about what someone else is doing, stalking, gossiping, and complaining, you are taking away from yourself and voluntarily giving up your power to people who barely even think of you.

Aaliyah- At Your Best ( You Are Love)💝💝💖

Peace & Love

Lavidus

Open Mind

Do you have an open mind?  Do you see things clearly or as you want them to be?  Can you accept opinions and beliefs that differ from yours without any judgment?    Do we all need to be doing and saying the same things in order to make progress?   I value your difference.  I don't need you to always understand where I am coming from, just respect the difference.   I enjoy hearing opinions that are different from mine because it offers the opportunity to learn something new.  I hold no preconceived notions other than the character that an individual may present to me.  How open are you to accepting the things that you do not understand?

It is natural for us to judge. Our mind requires us to come to some conclusions about how we engage and it helps us to create our perception of who we are engaging with.  How willing are you to put all your restraining beliefs behind you and accept the difference of the person you are judging.  Are you open enough to allow a person to introduce themselves before you cast them in a category based on your experience?

Having an open mind means you are willing to consider other perspectives or at least try new experiences.   An open mind can be the introduction to a whole new world.   A person who does not know how far they can go because they limit themselves will not expect you to go any further than what they can conceive.  Our limitations are not always intentional. Some are programmed, others are chosen and some are not even aware of their limits or can understand how a person can be limitless.

We are all subject to our beginnings. Within that beginning are conditions and those conditions help develop who we are, what we believe, and how we think. It has been made impossible for us to all be the exact same. You can have six siblings who grew up in the same household, and each one will have a different perception of what that experience was.  We are all in the same household sharing a different experience and somewhere in all of who you are, in who we are, lies the gift.  That gift is recognizing who you are and what you bring to the world. You are important, you are important and you are very important.   People have a tendency to believe that importance and monetary value are the same and it is not.  There are people with a lot less who are more willing to give you the shirt off their backs and give you some of what they have because no matter what their experience has been, they are not so out of touch with the human experience and are still able to give.

When you do not have an open mind and are not open to new experiences you are choosing to practice a form of ignorance.   Imagine judging someone who has experienced life differently than you. A person who has gained and experienced life through their own personal lens and you judge them and call them ignorant because you do not understand.  How would you feel to be judged by what you don’t know, instead of who you really are?  Everyone will not wake up, and that is part of their purpose.

 

Life is pretty simple.  We all want to be loved, accepted, and respected.  For a moment forget about race, forget about time, forget about all the injustices of the world and just love someone today. Forgive someone today. Be sweet and kind because it's free.  We are all experiencing this battle for our souls. This urgent buildup of something new, this breakthrough, this new way of existing, and believe me, it's here.    Open your mind and visualize what you want to see in the world and be just that.  

Chaka Khan-Angel

Peace & Love

Lavidus