Are You a Friend or Foe?

I have been blessed with the ability to accept people as they are, without judging.  Unfortunately, that has allowed some people to enter into my life, who never deserved to be there in the first place.  I am too friendly, as some would say.  I can  not even have a simple conversation with a man, without him assuming that I want something from him or I have some ulterior motives.  Take a look at yourself, now look at me, why would you be that person?  I have never been a thirsty woman, or desperate for anything, especially when it comes to men. 

I can not complain that I allowed someone in my life who turned out to be less than a friend.  There was no one there who said that I should or shouldn't (well my real girls was like, really?) But it was my choice, so when they act as they are by being a backstabber, a person who can't be trusted, it should not have been  no surprise to me.  What made me think that being their friend would change them?  Silly me.  The wonderful thing about me is I am not friend "needy".  I have a few real friends, whom I trust and love and we share a true sisterhood of respect.  We enjoy conversation about our lives, loves, children, so when I invite an outsider into my circle and you betray that trust, there is no come back.  I will treat you the same, but from your life, I will disappear. No need to address an issue, no need to argue, or get all political about it.  Just know that I see you, and I believe what I see.

As I have gotten older, the people I call friends have diminished to associates, and the associates have become people I know.   How many of you can call your friend to cry, or vent or just let it all out, with no judgments and without hearing another version of what you shared from someone else?  The level of friendships that I am embarking upon are those made of love and acceptance.  Time out for being a catty woman, or jealous or envying someone else's life.  I love where I am, and love even more where I am going.  As time goes on, I will slowly invite you into my world.  It's an amazing place.

The lesson I have learned is, although I will continue to be my usual friendly self,  I will continue to accept people as they are, I will continue to respect and love those that I meet, however, I will not let anyone in my life that clearly do not deserve to be there.  It's important that you know who  is for you and who is pretending to be for you.  As I heard someone say, "Sometimes losing friends means that you are growing up."   I believe it creates room for those who really deserve to be there. 

It's a new year, and along with getting that new body, having a new or better relationships, starting that business, or making any kind of significant change, you have to get rid of the nonsense that serves no purpose.

Peace & Love, L

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Only One Life....So Live!

When I often think of the path that my life has taken, the choices that I have made and the way I have lived my life, the more comfortable I have become with accepting what it is.  This is my life, I only get one shot and I better make it the best shot ever.

I have always made decisions based on me.  It may have been a selfish way to live, but my life has been my responsibility.  My mistakes have been mine, I own them.  I am not a people pleaser.  I have been blessed with so many talents and gifts that I often lose my focus on what it is I really want.  All the things that I could be, have been replaced with all the things that I am and will be.  As I grow and become more accepting of what my life's path is, I am opening up and  loving  more of what I have become.  I am falling in love with my imperfections, as much as I am falling in love with my gifts.   And yes, I am gifted.

When you have lived a life of being misunderstood, jealousy, betrayal, loss of loved one's and just plain disrespected, you may ask why.  Why have you been chosen to feel so many unsolicited emotions.  Why did this happen, or why did she say that, why is the negative so much easier to believe than the truth?  But the real question is to not question.  You can not control any one's perception of you.  You can not let anyone's idea of you determine your destiny.  You can share  what you want people to know, but people will  still be more accepting of what they feel is true and what makes them comfortable, and sometimes it may have nothing to do with you. So, learn to not take it personally, and more importantly, stop being the victim. No one owes you more than you owe yourself.

I've learned that to certain people it doesn't matter how kind you are, how much hair you do, how much money you spend, how many errands you run, how much you support them, that person may still feel that they are doing you a favor by letting you do those things.  When in fact, it has been your kindness that has allowed you to overlook their flaws. So it is not really about how kind you are to someone who does not "get it", it's about choosing people who will appreciate your kindness. Changing the way you are perceived by truly investing in yourself, your heart, and where you spend your time makes a big difference.

My thought process gets complicated sometimes, I watch, listen and learn, and I probably take in too much information, but I love it, I take joy in human nature, the good, the bad and the ugly.  We are all fascinating creatures, but not all of us, are using what was given to us at birth.  Some of us, will truly miss out on what this gift of life is really about.   Living a true life takes courage, love and acceptance.  Living your life means that you don't care what anyone thinks about your choices, demand that they respect it, or keep it moving.

My intent is  to help you see the real you, the you that you sometimes neglect.  Don't worry about people so much, surround yourself with those that will help you get to where you need to go, those who will love you anyway and who will tell you the truth.  A lot of people are living in the dark, afraid to let go of their issues, playing the blame game, and go through life on constant victim auto-pilot.  That is their role, all they have is bad news and gossip, that is what they do, then let them do that, just limit your involvement, limit your contact  to negative people and things, do not constantly let them download all that shit on you. 

There are a lot of people who talk positive, but are living negative, and are still wondering why they are still on that vicious merry go around of a life. Nothing stays the same, and if you are not growing and changing and becoming better, that you are stuck on that tread mill, running fast to no where. Free yourself, let go of garbage, forgive those who have tried to poison your existence, it's never to late to live, because you only get one life.

Peace & Love, LLW