X-boyfriend Again?

I have this tendency to keep in touch with x's. I can say it's not like it used to be, a few I had to let go. But those who have a true interest in what I am trying to accomplish, I keep near and dear, when I rise, they will rise. I am a friend til' the end. But other's they tickle me, so I send my blessings and hope our paths do not cross...LOL And now that I put that out there our paths will definitely cross. Anyway, there was this one boyfriend that I had whom heart I broke. Not an intentional thing, but a circumstantial thing. We ultimately departed with respect and as pseudo friends.

Fast forward, five years later, a few pool games and dry phone conversation and he tell's me he got married. I was very happy to hear that, but what followed left me confused and wondering why he got married. He went on to say that he and his wife has purchased a house, and I guess happy, except when he said, "It should have been you". Wow! My response was simple, "You are exactly with and where you need to be". That's how life works, and it makes no mistakes. But what's with the it should have been you deal. Man, aren't you happy? Why live in that part of the past? I guess he wanted to shock me about his marraige or throw it in my face in some back handed way. But why would I be jealous? I love it when people get together and make happy. Like I said before, I fall in love everyday. I am so far from being a hater, I would never wish or think anything against a blessed marriage. But dude, It should have been me? Your wife would be pissed!!!!

Anyway, there is particular boyfriend who baggered me for many years about being a friend, and then all of a sudden there was no friendship. Can there really be one? Maybe all these years he was just trying to get the panties, and when he did, I was sick with regret and he was I don't know, there was nothing to go back for, really. He's a good guy, with a good heart, and plus I can be a beast with matter's of the heart, so who know's, many blessings to him too. This ride is not for the faint of heart.

X-boyfriend Again?

Shut the F*ck Up!

Moving On

It seems like a century since I have written on my blog. For those of you who read it, I sincerely apologize. I have been dealing with some issues in my life that I have been trying to let go. Sometimes when you are still in the midst of the fire, it's hard to not get burned. You have to get out of the fire in order to forgive it for the burn.

I am surrounded by people who want the best for me, but still is glad that I am where I am. I believe that I am successful already. I carry myself in the most positive energy possible, but yet people still tend to hate. What's that all about? Humans are funny people, well, at least some of them are. They love and hate you at the same time. They appreciate you, but still want you to change and be more like them. They want to control you, and get mad when they can't. I am so happy that I am in a place where each day I choose to do something for me, and I can without feeling guilty about it. I could care less what people think, as a matter of fact, I don't. My kind heart has been used enough. The day that someone does something for me out of the kindness of their heart, the earth will probably open and white doves will fall from the sky, that person to me would indeed be an angel.

I live my life in somewhat of an unorthodox way. I don't do things to what some may seem like the "normal" way. I make my own decisions, I do not get permission from anyone and the less you need from me, the better. I guess you may think what makes me this way. Well, there is an answer. It comes from being that person that would do anything for anyone who needed help, advice or a favour. I am still that person, I just know that not everyone deserves to be assisted all the time. I am so cool on that. If I feel like it, then I will...LOL. I am laughing at myself now because there was a time when I would do something even if I did not feel like, it's such an empowering place to be.

The earth has moved, the universe has made an adjustment. We now have our 1st Black President. I am getting in on this positive energy that has began. And it has begun during one of the most stifling economic crisis ever, watch how we succeed. Not as one, but as a whole and many. No one can do anything alone, so I thank you for reading my blog and providing me with comments. I am by no means a perfect person, or claim to know everything, but I do know what I know and do what I do. Life is good, just where I am.

Peace & Blessings