When You Love His Toxic Nature

I will begin by saying that not all men that break your heart, rearrange your thought process and leave you emotionally dead are toxic; I am joking. Of course they are toxic. It does not matter what they look like, their economic background, suits or timberlands; a man who intentionaly breaks your heart is indeed a toxic person. But, why in the process of it all, do we fall heavily for these charming little devils.

I guess my issue was the excitment of it all. The intense energy that passes throught the two of us was undeniable. His toxic nature laced with intelligence or the appearance of, is what drew me in. I knew I coud fix his issues and he confirmed that I could. But, not before he took me for a ride. I mean, I just knew I could fix this motherfucker, but he was a professional in this game and I was just the apprentice. The instability, the I-dont -give-a-fuck-attitude are all the things that kept me turned on and then off, when the shit became a habit. And oh the sex! I allowed him inside where he created water falls on demand. He was the Man! And I was in quick sand, sinking into an illusionary existence, one that was painted pretty. I fell in love with unfounded desires, empty feelings conjured up by real emotions. 

I guess my wake up call was when I noticed him moving on to another. The lies became more obvious, because he didn’t care anymore. The complaning, because, what he used to love he hated now. Then the judging, because the perfection he used to love is flawed now. The texting, because now she is requiring his attention. The calls, that he must answer because he has told her he’s single. The secret shit was no longr secret and could not be ignored. 

I looked at the sorry excuse for an human, yet alone a man and decided that not even his dick was worth savaging. I had to let that little devil go. I guess he already knew of his upcoming expiration date because his attitude changed. I think they always know when the gig is up.

But when they return. 

I almost love it when they return. I mean, only a fool would try to check on me weeks, months or even years later after you've broken my heart. But they do. Pretending to want to relight the candle that they so willingly blew out. Don’t fall for it. They are testing the ground for another round of fuckery. And most of the time, it’s just to check the ground on them having sex. Whatever the case he is back. It either didn’t work out with New Nancy or he received his karma and he feels compelled to apologize. Whatever the case for his return, stand your ground and think, do you really need this lesson again? 

LL Walton, Author Blogger & Podcaster

Follow me on instagram @llwaltonauthor

When Your Soul Screams!

Have you ever felt like something wasn't right?  Have you ever got the inclination that something was changing, happening, but you were not sure when or what?  Have you ever did something that went against your being or beliefs?  You knew it was wrong, but at the moment it felt so right.

Yes, we all do things sometimes that we know is not right, but we do it anyway only to find out that we were correct in the frst place.  I think the thing that keeps us holding on is the fact that we hope it will be what we want it to be.  We hope  that people are who they say they are.  We hope it will be different and we want it to be, so we create or imagine it to be so, even when we know that it really isnt. That intial feeling remains the same.  You do it again and that feeling is getting stronger.  The need to give in and ignore what your soul is telling you can often be the demise of our inner being.  But you keep trying and ignoring, then boom!  Your soul gets so loud that you can no longer ignore it, this time you have to do what you know you should do.  It is no longer a question, the signs are now clear, but now you are hurt, disappointed, mad and discouraged, all because you didn't listen to the screaming of your soul.

When your soul is screaming it's over time to take a new direction.  You have ignored so many of the previous messages, signs and symbols that now the mesasge is loud and clear.  You were warned, you were given the signs and you ignored them all.  But there is still hope.  This time is only a lesson.  A lesson that you will remember and hopefully learn.  Because if you do not, like most classes you will have to repeat it again.  I can not tell you how many classes I've had to repeat.  How many times, I didnt listen, but those moments became my lessons to learn.  Maybe this time you won't be so deaf that you do not hear your soul when it's warning you, changing your direction, or making you accountable for the decisions you make. This time you are prepared to listen. Right?

In the grand scheme of it all, even if you take the wrong direction it too can be the right.  There is something to be learned in every direction, but the key is to listen to what that direction tha is.  I mean, are there really such as thing as mistakes if there is a lesson learned or if there is growth involved.  If it changes you for the better, makes you want to do better?   Every thing happens for a reason, a lesson, test or mistake, these are the things that make us grow and evolve into the master humans that we are born to be.  We are the masters of the universe, we all have free will.  How many of you like to be told what to do?  The next time your soul is screaming take a moment to find out what the universe, god or whatever you believe in is saying because whether you listen or not there is always the oppotunity to learn something about yourself, because really it's all about you.


Love & Peace,

Twitter: @LLWriter
Instagram:  llwaltonauthor

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Picture: The Holistic Soul Healer

Some People are Just Idiots!

Greetings Beautiful People....

Did you know that some people are just idiots?

I mean I am not sure if stupidity is the real pandemic that is going on right now or people are just walking around on Cloud 9, I dont know, but you should be aware.

Some people are idiots if you think you can copy & paste and win off of someone else's work.  Don't you want you own noterierty?  Are you not  skilled enough to profit off your own talents?  Maybe one day you'll realize that in this life you never really get away with anything, especially if it's available on the internet.  The world wide web is available to everyone.  So be sure that it's worth it, because when karma, life, and the mistakes you make become known to others, she will demand  and get full payment.  That message was for someone who is obviously  an idiot.  You should know my patience is impeccable, lying in wait like a lion hunting for her prey.  So, are you ready to be eaten?  That was an exceprt from my book of life and it's time to turn the page.

Anyway, it's a new day people, what are you going to do with it?
Are you being amazing, are you capitalizing off this great time in our lives.  Are you happy, sad, bored or stuck in your head?  Then get creative.  Allow your creative juices to be the guide to your success.  Dream big if you dare, because now is the time.  Whatever you desire is right up the street, turn left or right and you will end up in the right place. But be careful who you take with you, not everyone will fit the bill.  Those old baggages need not to be carried, so leave them at the door.  That simple way of thinking need not be used in times like this, so crank yourself up.  Challenge everything you think you know and become anew.

Getting married.......Great!
Getting divorced, even better, that means you both have decided you no longer want to waste your time on what was.  Worried about your wife, husband, boyfirend, girlfriend or any significant relationship, please put it all to rest. Things will work out just as planned, it will all support your highest good.  But the real question is, will you be ready?  Change is painful sometimes, but so is being an idiot.  If there is anything that you are tired of or want to change, then do it.  You are the creator, you are the manifestor.  Everything around you came from your thoughts, even the things you don't like.  So change it.

Hating on someone else because of what they have and you don't, only still leaves you without having those things. Invest in yourself.  And Be honest with yourself.   Some people don't see themselves as great podcasters, writers or authors, or anythiing that can measured by greatness, don't make that your problem, bask in the love you've given.   Turn a bad situation into a great one by changing your perspective.  Instead of thinking in terms of lack, be thankful for what's right in front of you.  Come on Kings and Queens, show the world what you are made of.   Make love, not war, especially with yourself. And more importantly, don't get cuaght being an idiot!!



Peace and Love

Click the link above to listen to this podcast on Radio Public.

Twitter:  llwriter
instagram:  llwaltonauthor

Until The End of Time....

Until the end of time.

There will always be things that last until the end of time. The sun, the moon and the stars were here before us and will be here long after.  We are here until the end of time; constantly changing and transforming into something other than what we were before. 

That's the beauty of the cycle of life.   Creation, Life, then Death.  However, not death in the literal sense, but death in tranformation, death of the old you, only to become anew. You choose to come here and learn, love and share.  Some of you forget why you came here and get lost in distractions and unnecessary jobs, creating unnecessary situations  through the ego.  Some of you get so lost, that living in mental poverty becomes the norm.   I am here to tell you there is so much more to life, than what you think.  I want to remind you of who you really are.

You were designed to be great.  You are great.  The mind, your mind does not  know limits, you do.  Your body is the most magnetic, boundless energy source created.  You are divine.  You came here with the ability to heal yourself, to heal others and to make an impact on your world.  We all have our seperate journeys to travel.  We all have a purpose and missions to complete.  Most of us are looking for things on the outside of us, when all we need is on the inside.   When you go on the inside, you'll know there is nothing to fear, even in the  midst of  chaos, there will be nothing that can remove you from your divine stance. 

Time makes you think you don't have enough of it. Time makes you think you are late.  Get in the mindset that everything happens when its supposed to.  Govern your ownself.  Relax into this new atmosphere, it's changing for the better.  There is always a storm before the calm.  So dream big and do whatever you want.


Live and Die Again


Podcast:  The Relationship Talk Podcast  (Click the link above and enjoy a podcast.)
Twitter: @LLWriter
Instagtram:  llwaltonauthor