Stephan Green
My name is Stephan Green. I am the CEO of Telkem Communications. I started this company from the ground up and I am very proud of its accomplishments. I am a Harvard graduate. Although the name, Harvard carries prestige, I am more proud of what I’ve done after college. I have a wife, her name is Sarah. Sarah is the perfect housewife, mother and friend, I used to love her, but now I just care. I have given her the life that she deserves; I have provided a smooth and comfortable transition from her humble beginnings to a life of luxury. On the outside we look like the typical suburban couple. She is the president of the PTA, very busy with the children and I have created another life that better suits my desires.
All my life I have worked. I have done what my father did for my mother. That is all that can be asked of me right? My parents could only gave me what they received and I had it down to a science. I would mimic what they did, it was my best example and appeared to work for them. My mother appeared to be a happy woman, but my father had numerous affairs, numerous children, yet my mother remained, she stood by his side and loved him until he died. I wanted my wife to be present, but then again, I did not. I wanted her to act like she loved me like she did when we first meet, but instead, she spent my money to show her appreciation. I had no real connection to my children, they took on the attitude of their mother. I was the human ATM. Family vacations were far and few in between. A couple of years after the twins’ birth things just began to spiral down. I knew I was pretending on the inside. I knew that my desire to have Shelly would eventually tear us apart, but I was willing to take that chance. Take the chance on a life that I could never have in public. A life that would become the reason I lived. I loved my children and I even at times loved my wife, but that only fulfilled a very small part of my existence. Shelly made me feel complete.
Shelly is a tall beautiful woman. She is my desire. She makes me feel like I could conquer the world. It was something that my wife lacked. I am not sure if she believed that I could accomplish what I have or that she was even cared about what I did for a living. I did what was expected, but for me that left an empty space. Shelly was warm and attentive. She asked questions and showed sincere interest. Then we would make love at the same place at the same time and the same hotel day in and out, weekends or whenever I could get a moment with her. She was my drug and I was addicted. No rehab for me. Who cares that each time I saw her she demanded $2500. I would take her until my soul died, for me there was nothing else. Before her my life was dying, suicide was a thought. Without her I would die. She was the fuel I needed to tolerate my existing life. When I talked of a future, she would always tell me to stay with my wife, so I did.
“Hi, Darlin’, how are you today?” Shelly would ask. She always wanted to know how “I” was doing and I liked that. If Sarah were to ask me how I was doing, it would be a precursor to asking for more money, or a new car or something that she needed to make herself look better.
“How about dinner at The Garden?” I asked Shelly during one of our phone calls that never lasted more than 2 minutes.
“I would love to”, she said. “See you at 7.” She knew my habits. She knew that if I wanted to take her to dinner and it was a Wednesday, 7 would be the perfect time for us. Tonight I would have two hours to spare. Sarah would be working out with her trainer, and the kids would be with their nanny, so I had the time.
The Garden was a small Italian restaurant located in south of San Francisco that sat on a hill, nestled in Half Moon Bay.
It was very personal, very private and romantic. Each booth has a view of the water. That was our place. After dinner we would find ourselves deeply involved with an affair that was more than just sex. An affair that begins each time we saw each other. We conversed about worldly things that spread across globes; politics, music, love, life, and public policies; I rarely talked of my personal life. She punished me with her intelligence. I loved her and I think she loved me, though she never said it. She never had to, this felt like the perfect love. It did not matter if she did or didn’t. I never had to hear her tell me she loved me. The last time I heard I love you from my wife, it had no meaning, empty words that held no weight in my heart.
Shelly did things to me that made my soul stir. Her touch felt like a magic wand. Where ever her hand touched, I was healed. She would tie me up and blind fold me. The unknown became my weakness and it made me high. She pulled all my strings, and I would let her torture me until I ejaculated. When our bodies were in motion it was natural and in sync, going where only a breeze could find. When we were apart, I thought of her like an unopened box of pleasures. A box that only opened for me, filled with undeserved pleasures. Soon this will be over and my perception would become my reality. My vision would clear and I would be back living the American dream with my wife.
I arrived home a little after 10 p.m. The kids were in bed and my wife was at the computer as usual. I never knew what she did during this hour, and I never asked. We would sit and have simple conversations about our day, the kids and plans for the week. As she talked I would look at her knowing where I had been, knowing that soon this illusion of a life would be over. For a moment I thought of where had the free spirited woman I’d married gone? I know something happening, but not sure exactly what. She became distant and I gave her space. I longed for something that she could never give me and now that I was getting it from someone else, her voice just sounded like empty space, sound with no meaning. I guess I looked interested, somewhere deep inside I really wanted to be present, but I just wasn’t and one day I would not be able to pretend anymore. We gave each other a peck goodnight and I got into the shower looking forward to my next moment with Shelly.
Worked was filled with last minute meetings, and because my company did not reach its forecasted profits, there were talks of a merger with a rival company. I wanted to wait it out before making any irrational decisions. I had my assistant book me a week’s vacation in the U.S Virgin Islands, I needed time to think. Maybe I could also send my wife away with her friends, while I unwind with Shelly.
She insisted we had separate rooms, which I agreed. It would be nothing for my wife to check up on me. Even though I did not take that many business trips, she would always check on me, making sure that I was where I said I was. Yet, she never asked to go, or asked why she wasn’t invited. I told her this time that I was going to a business venture retreat with management. She opted to go to Napa with her friends. Although I never meet any of her friends, I assumed they were much like her. I did know that she spent a lot of money on these trips with her so-called friends. All that did not matter, she was out of the way and I was on my way to paradise.
The time spent with her was lovely. We laughed and partook in several brands of expensive liquor. Shelly could consume a lot of alcohol, but never showed it. If I didn’t know better, I would have thought her to be an alcoholic. I’ve never seen her drink so much. I wondered if something was wrong. I took her shopping, had more dinner and drinks and we were in for the night. It was the third day, and when she woke up and looked at me, and decided it was time she went home. I didn’t question her although I wasn’t ready for her to go. I guess all of our fun had been had. I decided to stay a few more days and head home early Friday.
When I arrived home, it was late in the evening. I stopped by my office to check on things and spent more time than anticipated. Once I arrived, there was no one home, so I assumed Sarah and the kids were still gone. The emptiness of the house was an example of what I felt when I was in it and everyone was at home. I took a long hot shower and decided to watch a movie. I do not remember the last time that I sat in my home and watched a movie; I can’t remember a time that I actually wanted to be at home. I put on my robe and went down to the den to look for something to watch. There were tons of movies, I did not know we had such a collection. There were several movies for the kids, time I must have missed with them. There were old movie classics like Beverly Hills Cop with Eddie Murphy and Taxi with Robert DeNiro, and Reservoir Dogs. I would just watch as many as I could, maybe something like Reservoir Dogs or Unusual Suspects. I also noticed a black box with several unlabeled movies in it, so I popped one in.
I’ve never watched a porno, but from the looks of it, my wife does. As I watched and the focus of the film became clear, I noticed it was my wife. She was dressed in skimpy clothing that I’ve never saw her wear. Her makeup was dark and she looked like someone I did not know. There she was getting worked over by one, then two men. The look on her face was pure indescribable, one I had never seen. She was doing things that we never had done, not even when we were in love. I was in shock, but I could not stop watching her. As I went through the movies there were scenes of her with women, then men, then women and men, I was astounded, I felt like the blood had drained from my body. Who was this woman?
As I sat there, I was brought back to life by the sun piercing through a small area of the blinds. I had spent all night looking at these videos of my wife and her escapades. She was living a life that I had no idea about, a life that she so well covered up, a life that she kept her smiling like Martha Stewart. I wanted to ravish her body like those men, but a part of me was disgusted. I wanted to be angry, but the satisfaction I was getting while watching my wife with these other men would not allow me to. We both were finding pleasure with other people and from the outside it worked. Now from the inside I know it worked too; we did not bring any of our outside doings to the family. I was relieved; the little guilt I was feeling vanished. So I will not say nothing. I wonder if she knew about my affair with Shelly and choose to not say nothing. I will keep my wife’s secret; there is no reason for divorce, no reason to argue over something that means nothing. This is what we have become. This is the life we have chosen for ourselves. I will continue to see Shelly and she can continue to be and do whatever she pleases, that’s marriage right?
