It was major traffic over the weekend , so I headed out early to get a jump on the madness. Once I got to the restaurant, it was only about 4 or 5 people there, two couples and a man sitting at the bar. As I waited for my friends, I sat at the bar. And as usual I started to check out the people that were there. The couple across from me was an middle aged couple, it seemed as if they had been together for a while. The man at the bar was an older and alone, maybe in his late 50's or 60's. And there was couple in the back who were not engaging each other, so this was either a first date or a date to figure some shit out, somebody was in trouble. Shortly after, my friends all started to trickle in. It was very hot in the restaurant, so we all decided to sit outside. As we were passing the older man, he says, "That's the reason I can't get a date, all women are dating each other". We all kept on walking because we knew he was not talking about us. But as we gathered outside we noticed the couple and him looking at us, assuming we were all lesbians. The thought made me laugh, but it also made me think of the state of some men, even at his age. I wanted to go back in there and tell him that at your age, you are probably not getting dates because you are an asshole. In your earlier life you probably saw women as some expendable accessory that you did not care much for, and karma is paying you back by having you sit here lonely at this damn bar. But, I digressed and enjoyed my evening instead.
Not all women who sit together and talk about our lives are lesbians. I love my girls, but I do not spend everyday on the phone with them, see them all the time or even go out with them all the time. There was a time where we would be all looking forward to the weekend to get dressed, go out and seek some boys to play with, clubbing, bar hopping or whatever, but that time has passed and the days spent thinking about the next event is far and few in between. Now, we talk about our next business plan, serving the community, share stories of being a mom or wife. And if I did have a friend who was a lesbian, we would talk about her life too. None of which is the contributing factor as to why you are close to being a senior citizen and have no date. That may have more to do with the energy you are sending out. Blaming external things, the most visible and obvious beings on your short comings, is you not having accountability for your life. Now, I see why you are single, and a lot more men may just be heading your way.
I also thought about all the men that even at this age, spend a lot of their time with their homeboys, instead of pursuing a woman. Isn't it the men who have the saying Bro's before hoe's, what does that really mean? You love your homies more than the company of a woman? When you treat a woman as if she doesn't matter, when you really want one, it won't matter. The fact of the matter is everyone wants to be loved, feel validated for their being. But it's the age old saying everything begins and ends with you. You can not expect a woman to be all that you deserve, when you are not what she deserves. There is no fooling the energy you create, the truth has no shield and will always prevail in matters of the heart. So, if you find yourself a middle aged man or older, sitting at a bar, wondering why you can not get a date, think about how you have treated the one thing you desire the most.
Peace & Love
LLW
