What happened to the days when a man took care of his children and his woman? Nowadays its more like how much money you make and can I get a cut. What happened to a man courting you and bringing you flowers, now it's more like, can you pay my cell phone bill or buy me some shoes. Some women have done this to maintain the relationship, but as a man how do you not feel like the bitch in the relationship? I guess a man in that situation will have to answer that.
It is always a turn-off when a man asks me about my assets. (Bitch alert!) I have, but I don't show. After running into this situation a few times, I had to ask the men, just what are you used to? The answer varies, but none exact. And believe me you, you can tell a lot about a man depending on how he answers that question. You can also tell what kind of women he has been with or is "used to". I asked 5 men, some random, some which I had previous experiences with and the answers ranged from, "I don't trip off women like that", to " I am used to having a good time". I found those answers to be interesting because no one said, I am used to a woman making me a home cooked meal, having intimate conversations, or getting my foot rubbed after a long day at work. I guess because that's not what they are used to. But as a woman, that is what I am used to doing if a man is my man. He gets totally catered to, and taken care of, but at the end of the day he still has to be the man, he has to be the head of my household.
As independent as I am, I also know how to be a woman that allows a man to be a man. Some women have destroyed these men by taking care of them financially in exchange for some good dick. Yes, I enjoy some good D too, but please don't get it confused with real love, you are being emotionally robbed. Don't offer me the D and expect me to fall in love, what I have to offer runs deeper than my vagina, but there are plenty of women falling for it everyday, just to say they have someone in their life. If there is an even exchange, I guess there is no robbery.
Call me crazy, but I believe in romance and surprises to keep me interested. Of course, I will dress in my skimpiest attire to make you dinner or put on my shortest mini-skirt and golf shoes to go 18 holes, but that is not given to everyone, I can't treat every boy like a King. Treating your boyfriend like a husband will not guarantee you a husband. And even more so, acting like his mother will not either.
There is nothing wrong with the woman being the bread winner. If that is the agreement within the marriage or relationship, if that works for you, you get no judgment from me. There is nothing wrong with treating your man out to dinner or buying your man a drink, but it is also important that he is able to do those things for you and himself. And remember, no matter how much money you make, there is still the male ego to consider, he will probably still seek a woman that makes him feel like "the man". And as the saying goes, whatever and however you start a relationship, sets the tone on how the relationship will continue. Some men want a good woman, but not the responsibility. Good Luck!
There are a lot and I mean a lot of insecure people walking around pretending, they choose a certain kind of man or woman to compliment and cater to that insecurity. When that relationship fails, then you wonder what happened. You attract what you are, you made the decision to welcome that man or woman in your life. Some people are so messed up and afraid to be vulnerable that they would not recognize a good man or woman if they came and sat right in their lap, slapped them on both sides of their face and screamed I AM HERE! It's just not what they are used to. I can go deeper in the psychological reason why men and women choose the people they do, even when they know they are not right for them. Their relationship with their mother or father, what they believe to be true about relationships or more importantly, how they feel about themselves, play a part on how and who you choose, but that would make this a boring blog. Nor will I talk about the real reason some men are single and only see women as objects, maybe it's because what they really desire is a man, that's an old topic that I refuse to entertain anymore.
What I do want to talk about is the rejuvenation of men and women relationship's, how you communicate and getting the love you desire, because everyone wants to be loved. It's possible to make better choices and get the love you deserve, but you have to change what's not working. I want to go back to the days when spending time talking was the way to fall in love, having your man or woman be your best friend and just being in the presence of each other brought complete happiness. It is possible and it's never too late.
If you have any questions about relationships or sex, please send your questions to lovelylashon13@gmail.com, then tune in to my YouTube show on August 24th, where I will answer your questions and offer my experience, because I don't give advice.
Stay tuned for my next book, SHAME, Love, Lies & Lust! (It's coming, I swear)
Peace & Love Ya'll
