Sleepless Night

As I am writing this blog I realize how much time I am not spending writing on it. When I wake up in the morning, there are so many other things that are on my mind that I simply forget to do the things that I love to do. I am writing this book, barely it seems, since there is something else that takes up most of my time. (Some of you may know what that is).

As the night ticks along I drift into thoughts of my High School Reunion in a few months. I am excited to see what age has done to some of us...LOL! From the looks of it, it has not been too kind to some. It's funny how some people can be so handsome in high school then look like lerch now. How the fuck does that happen? Life I guess. And of course for some, time has been like a real good friend. I am wondering who will be my date, or if I even want to take one.

There are a few people that I have in mind, and it all depends on what kind of night I want to have. If I want to have a fun, friendly night, I will take one of my attractive guy "friends", who will make me laugh most of the night. If I want to just be low key and relax and enjoy the atmosphere, then I will take one of my "professional gentleman friends". You know the kind that takes care of a woman, but at the moment scared to get into anything too serious. And if I feel like not being bothered, then I will fly solo, that way I do not have to entertain or babysit anyone, and once the night is ova, it's ova! I am not sure, but what I am sure about is that I will have a good time.

I had a few crushes in high school, but only one love. Even though we have grown up and gone our separate ways, he was the best 1st boyfriend a girl could have,and I can only hope that he is happy with his children and wonderful wife. However, it was not until after him that I began to experience real love. The kind that makes you give like no tomorrow. Love like your life depended on it. It was hard and soft, sweet and sour and at all made sense because we were in love. I have never felt so protected by a man. It was me and him against the world and I loved what he represented and he loved the fact that I was a beautiful, quiet but fierce. I knew my place as his woman, I never needed to play the front, nor was I ever in the back, I was right there beside him, and on any given day if he needed me to step up, I did just that. But he always was the man, and I loved that about him, there was no question about that. That was nothing that needed to be said or made clear, his presence spoke it all. I guess you can say he had major swagger. And as I speak of him right now, I miss him dearly, I know he's watching from heaven, waiting on me.

But until we meet again, I have to continue to live here on earth and take care of the angel of a daughter that was left with me. When I look at her, I understand her, because she is simply a female version of her father. I know there is no man on this planet who could ever compare, but there is one who understands where I am coming from, someone who can get my grip. He definitely has to be a soldier in every way, whether in the board room or in the fields of life, he has to be that man, because I am that woman. And only the true recognize what's true. Not a amateur boxer who's fighting for the title. He already has the title and waiting on his Queen. Here I am...come scoop me up and let's ride......:)