The first time I meet Maya Angelou I was 18 years old. I had just graduated from high school and was working at a grocery store called Andronico's in Berkeley, California. It was located a few blocks from the UC Berkeley campus, so the store was always filled with interesting and different people. I worked in the deli department, making strange sandwiches and cutting up meats with strange names.
It was all new to me. My mom had moved us from Mississippi and even though we were in a different state, my household was still very southern. I knew of only chicken, pork or ground beef, red hot dogs, greens, chitterlings, dumplings and pigs' feet. At Andronico's I learned of prosciutto, all kinds of pate, and how to make homemade pizza. I learned of bread with seeds in it and wheat and all kinds of fruity and green drinks that were supposed to make you healthy and live longer. It was all so intimidating and exciting at the same time.
I had known of Ms. Angelou from her book, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. I had kept a journal since I was in the 5th grade, so I knew I wanted to be a writer, and reading a book that a black woman had written made me believe it was possible. Where I came from, there were not many who talked about dreams. You get a job, get married, have kids, and live some kind of life. I knew that life was not for me. I had more to offer, more to see, more to explore and I went out to seek those things. I never mentioned to anyone that I wanted to be a writer or that I wanted to be in movies or that I wanted to see myself on TV or that I wanted my own business. I mean I had dreams. But those were just dreams and who would I share those with, who would believe what I believed?
When I saw her she was pushing her basket with a few items. I was trying not to stare, but I was sure I had seen her on Oprah, and here she was in my store shopping. She was tall and regal. She had on a long dress that landed just before her feet. I watched her with her small afro and wished at that moment that I was a checker instead of a deli girl. Up until that moment I had been an avid Michael Jackson fan and had been on the front row at many New Edition concerts, but nothing had me more mesmerized than having Ms. Maya Angelou in my store. So I sat there thinking about how could I meet her. What would I say? How do I approach her without seeming like a crazed fan?
I knew she was approachable, speaking to people in the store, not famously, but neighborly, like she was one of us. Not above or below, but significantly equal with a special flare, that only her confidence spoke of. I watched her until she started to leave the store, then I made my move.
"Maya?"
She turned to me and said, " Ms. Angelou", her voice was deep and precise. I felt so dumb. I had addressed this woman like she was a friend from high school or something, knowing that my southern upbringing had taught me how to address adults with Mr. or Mrs., yes ma'am or no sir, what the hell happened to my brain?
I said, "Ms. Angelou, I like your book and I admire you". She said, "Thank you, are you in school?". "Yes, I start in the fall at Cal State Hayward". "What are you going for?", I said, Communications. Then she said a few words that meant the world to me. Words that I longed to hear from my own mother, words that would validate my existence and make me feel like I could accomplish all that I needed to in this world. I was no longer afraid to be, and all she said was, "You will be fine, you will do well".
That was many years and roads ago, but it stuck with me. It was the words I needed to hear. It came from someone who did not even know me, someone who did not even know what my home life was like, she had no idea about me, but she knew that I would be fine, and I believed her.
Through it all, my life has not been easy, but I have been fine. It may have taken me a while to believe in myself and in my craft, but I am still writing, and I am fine. I will forever remember that Queen being the catalyst I needed to boost my rocket because I am fine.
I want to share that with all of you. If you have ever felt like giving up, changing yourself to please others, having people doubt you, talking about you, disowned you, not loving you the way you needed, and at times you even stopped dreaming? Guess what? You are ok. You will get there because you know what? You are just fine!
