Saturday, September 27, 2008
Attraction..........hmmmmm
I had the privilege of hanging with one of my dear friends who I do not get to see very often, so when we get together we have drinks,shoot some pool and talk about he latest that is going on in our lives.
One of the things that we talked about is how men are oblivious when women like them, I begged to differ, but then again, I use to like him, and I guess he didn't know, which is why we probably ended up as friends as oppose to lovers. We also talked about attraction, what is it? Webster says, 1.the act, process or power of attracting 2. Personal charm and 3.(which is my personal favorite) a force acting mutually between particles of matter, tending to draw them together,and resisting their separation. Sounds sexually though it never mentions it. 4. Something that attracts or is intended to attract while appealing a person's desires or tastes.
The attraction between a man and woman can vary in definition and in taste. It an be complicated or simple. It can be sexual or just a mutual admiration. He said there are some people who he's attracted to who he will never have sex with. I say there are some who I may be attracted to only sexually. He says, he can sleep with a woman who he is not attracted to. I say, why? Where is the appeal? I say I have to be attracted to you in some way to go there. There lies the difference between men and women. I believe it's up to the individual and what their idea of attraction is. The man and woman relationship is complicated enough, acknowledging the differences and communicating about them is the best solution.
What is attraction to you?
One of the things that we talked about is how men are oblivious when women like them, I begged to differ, but then again, I use to like him, and I guess he didn't know, which is why we probably ended up as friends as oppose to lovers. We also talked about attraction, what is it? Webster says, 1.the act, process or power of attracting 2. Personal charm and 3.(which is my personal favorite) a force acting mutually between particles of matter, tending to draw them together,and resisting their separation. Sounds sexually though it never mentions it. 4. Something that attracts or is intended to attract while appealing a person's desires or tastes.
The attraction between a man and woman can vary in definition and in taste. It an be complicated or simple. It can be sexual or just a mutual admiration. He said there are some people who he's attracted to who he will never have sex with. I say there are some who I may be attracted to only sexually. He says, he can sleep with a woman who he is not attracted to. I say, why? Where is the appeal? I say I have to be attracted to you in some way to go there. There lies the difference between men and women. I believe it's up to the individual and what their idea of attraction is. The man and woman relationship is complicated enough, acknowledging the differences and communicating about them is the best solution.
What is attraction to you?
Monday, September 22, 2008
I am too good, but it's true! Read what I am about....
You are a loyal and devoted person who is not afraid to be held accountable for a responsibility such as commitment.
You're comfortable with commitment without being too much of a stickler about it. You feel that the majority of life is just meant to be taken seriously, and you're the kind of person who can do it. You enjoy your responsibilities and handle them easily. The security that comes with commitment is appealing to you. You don't see the lighter, carefree side of life as conflicting with commitment, which is probably why you don't shy away from saying yes when the occasion calls for it. But just be careful you're not taking life too seriously. Trust your heart, and listen to your gut when a relationship feels too constricting or just right. Take time to be free and spontaneous, and don't fall into a mental or physical rut. We need variety and a bit of spice - that's part of what makes us human! Be sure to come to terms with and love yourself before attempting a commitment with anyone else - otherwise, all your good intentions may backfire. But when it feels right, you trust yourself to commit.
You're comfortable with commitment without being too much of a stickler about it. You feel that the majority of life is just meant to be taken seriously, and you're the kind of person who can do it. You enjoy your responsibilities and handle them easily. The security that comes with commitment is appealing to you. You don't see the lighter, carefree side of life as conflicting with commitment, which is probably why you don't shy away from saying yes when the occasion calls for it. But just be careful you're not taking life too seriously. Trust your heart, and listen to your gut when a relationship feels too constricting or just right. Take time to be free and spontaneous, and don't fall into a mental or physical rut. We need variety and a bit of spice - that's part of what makes us human! Be sure to come to terms with and love yourself before attempting a commitment with anyone else - otherwise, all your good intentions may backfire. But when it feels right, you trust yourself to commit.
Raiders...."Can't Win Baby"
Unbelievable!!
I am starting to think that this young Raider's team have more than just the opponent to worry about, it is their own Defensive Coordinator, and bad plays too. It must be very difficult to try and win when there is no one to support you, it's almost like working to defeat yourself, which is what happened on Sunday morning.
Since when did getting in the red zone three times never warrant a try for a touchdown? You can not expect to win with field goals against a real team who wants to win. Am I the only one that noticed that?
The Raider franchise has had numerous problems stemming from the owner and the city of Oakland, but when does this petty bickering end. Who care's who has the bigger dick, we want a winning team! We have had some of the best player's come to this organization and turn around and leave. We have a tendency to choose young coaches because we do not want anyone with the sense and the power to notice and make the changes that need to be made in this organization. We have become too complacent in our losing situation. Where is the Raider drive to "Just win baby".
I do not want to say it is a lost cause, but I do believe we have a great team and can do anything that we want to, there is just one requirement, the whole team has to want to win.
L
I am starting to think that this young Raider's team have more than just the opponent to worry about, it is their own Defensive Coordinator, and bad plays too. It must be very difficult to try and win when there is no one to support you, it's almost like working to defeat yourself, which is what happened on Sunday morning.
Since when did getting in the red zone three times never warrant a try for a touchdown? You can not expect to win with field goals against a real team who wants to win. Am I the only one that noticed that?
The Raider franchise has had numerous problems stemming from the owner and the city of Oakland, but when does this petty bickering end. Who care's who has the bigger dick, we want a winning team! We have had some of the best player's come to this organization and turn around and leave. We have a tendency to choose young coaches because we do not want anyone with the sense and the power to notice and make the changes that need to be made in this organization. We have become too complacent in our losing situation. Where is the Raider drive to "Just win baby".
I do not want to say it is a lost cause, but I do believe we have a great team and can do anything that we want to, there is just one requirement, the whole team has to want to win.
L
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Fever in the Winter pg. 5
I guess it all began with my mother's marraige's. Her first marriage was the equivalent to being in boot camp while being on drug's. So for her second marraige some how had to redeem herself by marrying a Preacher, Bishop, Deacon whatever you want to call those people that claim to be higher than most with they are ordained in the church. They tend to have the highest expectations and yet fall the farthest from grace. Kind of like Priest in the Catholic Church.
My mother's previous marraige was filled with domestic abuse, sexual abuse,alcohol abuse and any other kind of abuse that a person can experience in a relationship; about 8 years of it. As a child growing up in that kind of atmosphere along with never getting a mother's love or father's love makes you develop a certain kind of mechanism for dealing with certain situations. You tend to shy away from conflict, become over accomodating, resentful and have the lowest form of self-esteem. The deprogramming of that program takes many years. There was a time that I wanted to committ suicide, I really was not going to do it, it was an attempt to get my mother's attention,instead she sent my step-father to deal with the situation. Someone whom I did not like or care for. I will tell you why later. In order to get my mother's attention you either had to be almost dead or be one of her other children. The children that she had while married, I call them the official kids. My father was said to be one person and turned out to be another person, the lie was so complicated that by the time I was an adult, it really didn't matter.
My mother was very big on perceptions. She wanted everyone down home to think that she had done well by marrying a preacher. She was no longer with the alcoholic abuser, that life had embarrassed her so much. Now she was with a bonafide man of the church. I guess that looked good on paper. I never liked this man from the begining. There was something about his eyes,then there was something about his heart, then it was something weird about his family, they all seem to carry this strange aura around them. Mind you, this is my perspective as a 12 year old child. There is truth that comes from a child that only a child knows how to speak, but who do I tell it to? I was afraid. I had been through this before. To put it bluntly, he was an asshole and would probably die an asshole, except on Sundays, he was a Preacher on that day.
My mother's previous marraige was filled with domestic abuse, sexual abuse,alcohol abuse and any other kind of abuse that a person can experience in a relationship; about 8 years of it. As a child growing up in that kind of atmosphere along with never getting a mother's love or father's love makes you develop a certain kind of mechanism for dealing with certain situations. You tend to shy away from conflict, become over accomodating, resentful and have the lowest form of self-esteem. The deprogramming of that program takes many years. There was a time that I wanted to committ suicide, I really was not going to do it, it was an attempt to get my mother's attention,instead she sent my step-father to deal with the situation. Someone whom I did not like or care for. I will tell you why later. In order to get my mother's attention you either had to be almost dead or be one of her other children. The children that she had while married, I call them the official kids. My father was said to be one person and turned out to be another person, the lie was so complicated that by the time I was an adult, it really didn't matter.
My mother was very big on perceptions. She wanted everyone down home to think that she had done well by marrying a preacher. She was no longer with the alcoholic abuser, that life had embarrassed her so much. Now she was with a bonafide man of the church. I guess that looked good on paper. I never liked this man from the begining. There was something about his eyes,then there was something about his heart, then it was something weird about his family, they all seem to carry this strange aura around them. Mind you, this is my perspective as a 12 year old child. There is truth that comes from a child that only a child knows how to speak, but who do I tell it to? I was afraid. I had been through this before. To put it bluntly, he was an asshole and would probably die an asshole, except on Sundays, he was a Preacher on that day.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Hail the Haters!
I love it when people don't like me. Hater's have become the new age motivators, the more the better. They have been around for years, but I hear their numbers are growing.
I enjoy the art of doing things my way. I enjoy livng outside the box and not being confined to one way of thinking, living or acting. I love my adaptability, you can place me anywhere and I can fit in, without losing who I am. Hater's hate that. Hater's try to control you, and swear they know what's best for you. Most of the time they do not even know what's best for themselves,which is one of the reasons they are so involved in your life.
Some people try to define your life by how they live their's, those people are just unhappy camper's a.k.a, Haters. Sorry for them they have not found the true meaning of life. To me it's really not in a job, it's how not much money you make, or who you know or even your credentials. Ultimate living is doing what you love every single day and doing it your way. I can not express how important it is to practice free will, serve other's and give, with no intention of getting anything back.
I feel for those people who have not quite found that in their life. Life is such a gift, why live it any other way?
When you have a hater(s)in your life, do what I do, don't even comment on the fact that they sound like a hater, don't even bring it to their attention, just give that blank stare like damn you're a hater. They will keep on talking, but you just listen to just how far this hater will go. They will never give you credit for anything, not that you need it from a hater anyway, but it's because they know every damn thing. Keep listening and you will find that they don't know shit! For me,that's where the entertainment starts. I usually just start saying off the wall shit,just to see how they respond. Next time just do something like ask for advice, they love to give advice....lol
Ok, enough about the hater's, I am tired. You gotta love them though. For a person who has a great sense of self, they do wonders for motivation, so I guess you can say they serve their purpose.
So..to the hater's in my life, I love you, you are part of the reason for my success!
Smooches
I enjoy the art of doing things my way. I enjoy livng outside the box and not being confined to one way of thinking, living or acting. I love my adaptability, you can place me anywhere and I can fit in, without losing who I am. Hater's hate that. Hater's try to control you, and swear they know what's best for you. Most of the time they do not even know what's best for themselves,which is one of the reasons they are so involved in your life.
Some people try to define your life by how they live their's, those people are just unhappy camper's a.k.a, Haters. Sorry for them they have not found the true meaning of life. To me it's really not in a job, it's how not much money you make, or who you know or even your credentials. Ultimate living is doing what you love every single day and doing it your way. I can not express how important it is to practice free will, serve other's and give, with no intention of getting anything back.
I feel for those people who have not quite found that in their life. Life is such a gift, why live it any other way?
When you have a hater(s)in your life, do what I do, don't even comment on the fact that they sound like a hater, don't even bring it to their attention, just give that blank stare like damn you're a hater. They will keep on talking, but you just listen to just how far this hater will go. They will never give you credit for anything, not that you need it from a hater anyway, but it's because they know every damn thing. Keep listening and you will find that they don't know shit! For me,that's where the entertainment starts. I usually just start saying off the wall shit,just to see how they respond. Next time just do something like ask for advice, they love to give advice....lol
Ok, enough about the hater's, I am tired. You gotta love them though. For a person who has a great sense of self, they do wonders for motivation, so I guess you can say they serve their purpose.
So..to the hater's in my life, I love you, you are part of the reason for my success!
Smooches
Monday, September 15, 2008
The Hook-Up!
There is nothing more funny and entertaining than when my married girlfriends try to hook me up. Every guy that I meet they get so excited about him,hoping that he is "the one" and hoping that I will settle into that life of matrimony that sometimes I just tell them to date him. It's quite annoying. Considering that I am more into making "friends" than making husbands, sometimes it's just a lost cause.
Even though I love my girls and they do have good intentions, they do not have any idea as to what I like in a man. I could just tell them, but then only I can get it right. They look at shit that they used to choose their husbands and since half of them are not happy and just going through "the married with children motions", I prefer to make my own choices. Maybe I should share with them again that I am not looking. Or that I am enjoying dating and seeing who I want to see, when I want to see them. There are no expectations, rules to live by and all the other shit that goes into seeing someone on the daily. I prefer just being able to source out a contender for the evening or the weekend and seeing him off with enough love to conquer the world. When you are a beautiful woman, you have choices, when you are beautiful woman with a brain and good "jazzy" you have choices with tons of benefits. I enjoy those benefits. I take full advantage of the fact that men are visual creatures,they want what looks good, and yes, I look delicious. This means I can wear jeans, t-shirt and a baseball cap and still get plenty of action. I never reveal too much of myself, I save all that for the bedroom. Plus, I have a great attitude about life. You will not hear a whole bunch of nagging wifey type shit from me. I have my days and there is someone I might gripe to on occasion, but those days are rare and few in between, I enjoy life.
So, here I am. There were a few options for tonite, but I refused. I wanted to write and relax. There is a new guy, not the most attractive, may be a little needy, we will see. I like them self sufficient and confident, if you need a mother, date her, I am not the one.
To my dear friends who want to see me coupled up, my mother who wants me to get married and have a few babies, to those men who swear that I need them to feel complete, welcome to my world. In my world I rule it, I ask the universe for what I need and move accordingly. I sway to the beat of my own drum and regret nothing. I am thankful for the sun the moon and the star's. The rain that falls and the rainbow that follows. Whatever comes my way, I embrace with the softness of a hug, never rejecting the lessons of life, for my journey is incomplete.
What tried to break me in pieces made me more complete. A bonafide and gracious woman.....can you compete??
Even though I love my girls and they do have good intentions, they do not have any idea as to what I like in a man. I could just tell them, but then only I can get it right. They look at shit that they used to choose their husbands and since half of them are not happy and just going through "the married with children motions", I prefer to make my own choices. Maybe I should share with them again that I am not looking. Or that I am enjoying dating and seeing who I want to see, when I want to see them. There are no expectations, rules to live by and all the other shit that goes into seeing someone on the daily. I prefer just being able to source out a contender for the evening or the weekend and seeing him off with enough love to conquer the world. When you are a beautiful woman, you have choices, when you are beautiful woman with a brain and good "jazzy" you have choices with tons of benefits. I enjoy those benefits. I take full advantage of the fact that men are visual creatures,they want what looks good, and yes, I look delicious. This means I can wear jeans, t-shirt and a baseball cap and still get plenty of action. I never reveal too much of myself, I save all that for the bedroom. Plus, I have a great attitude about life. You will not hear a whole bunch of nagging wifey type shit from me. I have my days and there is someone I might gripe to on occasion, but those days are rare and few in between, I enjoy life.
So, here I am. There were a few options for tonite, but I refused. I wanted to write and relax. There is a new guy, not the most attractive, may be a little needy, we will see. I like them self sufficient and confident, if you need a mother, date her, I am not the one.
To my dear friends who want to see me coupled up, my mother who wants me to get married and have a few babies, to those men who swear that I need them to feel complete, welcome to my world. In my world I rule it, I ask the universe for what I need and move accordingly. I sway to the beat of my own drum and regret nothing. I am thankful for the sun the moon and the star's. The rain that falls and the rainbow that follows. Whatever comes my way, I embrace with the softness of a hug, never rejecting the lessons of life, for my journey is incomplete.
What tried to break me in pieces made me more complete. A bonafide and gracious woman.....can you compete??
Saturday, September 13, 2008
House of Seeeoowwlll! & Sana F!
People I finally broke down and went to a radio sponsored event. I tend to stay away from that type of atmosphere because it tends to be a little on the young side. And since I have been grown and sexy for quite sometime now, I just stick with what I know. I had to show support for the Oscar winner Jennifer Hudson and new comer Jasmine Sullivan,and of course the bay area favorite Raphael Saadiq. There was also some young girl performing and I still do not know who she is, nor did I understand what she was singin about.
The night was going really well. Even though staying in line in the cold was not the business and it took forever for it to get started, I waited patiently, because again, it was a radio sponsored event. The ole' school music that was played during the intermission was what kept me anticipating the next act. The DJ was great! My girls and I partied like rock stars right there in the audience. Then the hosts of the radio station came out. Since I had never really seen any of the radio acts, except Chuy. Chuy was nice, Big Von looked like the average dude that I would probably choose on occasion. However, when Sana G now F to me,came out, I was dumb founded! This is a chick that talks about everybody from here to Jamaica and she looked like a fuckin' power ranger. She was dressed in a damn parachute dress and a T-shirt from the 80's. Her hair looked greasy,and her make-up was just that made up. Let me tell you, if drinking has you making bad decisions, rehab is calling. Ms. Kimmie was so ridiculous that I do not have the words to describe. These are two brods that do have a pebble to stand on. When does being a radio personality give you the right to look a damn mess? Those chickens have flown one coop too many.
Anyway......
As the night went on, there was the guy that looked like T-Pain on that "good" crack in the audience throwing dollar bills all over the place. That was pretty sad, what was even more sad was the young girls picking the dollars up, please save our children.
That was my first and last House of Soul, overall it was a nice experience, without all the atrocious visuals among the crowd and on stage,it was a night that I will soon forget.
The night was going really well. Even though staying in line in the cold was not the business and it took forever for it to get started, I waited patiently, because again, it was a radio sponsored event. The ole' school music that was played during the intermission was what kept me anticipating the next act. The DJ was great! My girls and I partied like rock stars right there in the audience. Then the hosts of the radio station came out. Since I had never really seen any of the radio acts, except Chuy. Chuy was nice, Big Von looked like the average dude that I would probably choose on occasion. However, when Sana G now F to me,came out, I was dumb founded! This is a chick that talks about everybody from here to Jamaica and she looked like a fuckin' power ranger. She was dressed in a damn parachute dress and a T-shirt from the 80's. Her hair looked greasy,and her make-up was just that made up. Let me tell you, if drinking has you making bad decisions, rehab is calling. Ms. Kimmie was so ridiculous that I do not have the words to describe. These are two brods that do have a pebble to stand on. When does being a radio personality give you the right to look a damn mess? Those chickens have flown one coop too many.
Anyway......
As the night went on, there was the guy that looked like T-Pain on that "good" crack in the audience throwing dollar bills all over the place. That was pretty sad, what was even more sad was the young girls picking the dollars up, please save our children.
That was my first and last House of Soul, overall it was a nice experience, without all the atrocious visuals among the crowd and on stage,it was a night that I will soon forget.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Perplexed
I believe there is nothing that happens by accident. Every action in life that comes into play is what is suppose to happen. Sometimes we try to control our lives and the people in it. We try to plan our life according to how we think things should go. I now understand that we can plan, but we should only hope that things turn out the way we want to.
The wonderful thing about life is that we do not have control, there is always another entity working to remind us that we have no control. When we plan to marry and do not. When we plan to move and can not. When we plan for that big promotion and never get it. When we want that woman or that man, but never seem to be able to get things right. When we work hard and it seems you never can get to where you are going. It is not by accident that you don't receive those things, it is how things are suppose to be. That is the challenge of life. Being successful while everything you have tried has failed, takes strength, perseverance, belief in yourself and an attitude adjustment. It is your opportunity to stand back take a look and readjust your thinking move about things in a different way. It is not for you to give up, but keep at it. Never become a victim of circumstances. You can even try to adjust your intentions for wanting those things in the fist place. Maybe it is just not for you,and the universe is again saving you from yourself.
My journey is still in progress, but I see where I want to be everyday. I come from the land of negativity. Where the people around me see no good in life. They are filled with complaints, self-hatred and the destruction of anything positive. Money rules their life and provides to them a false sense of accomplishment, but beneath it all is misery. It took me a long time to not become a part of what I was compelled to grow up in. Sometimes we can fault our parents for having horrible childhoods to the point where when we become adults we spend our life trying to really find out who we are. Can you really know when you do not know where you come from? Some of us survive and fulfill our destiny's and other's do not. They fall prey to the destructions of the world. The fruit of life that looks sweet, until we take a bite and that bite is filled with despair, the unloved, hurt, pain and numerous other nameless atrocities of the world,but we swallow it anyway. We know no other way. Only the strong survive; and I do not mean the physically strong. So as I look at my life, yes I can say that I have had some disappointments,some setbacks, and sometimes not even a encouraging word heard, but I keep going, I won't ever stop until I am there. Until I save, change, and give hope to not only my life but a life that's less fortunate. My work won't ever be done. World peace, unity and love until the break of dawn.
Jolie Labelle
The wonderful thing about life is that we do not have control, there is always another entity working to remind us that we have no control. When we plan to marry and do not. When we plan to move and can not. When we plan for that big promotion and never get it. When we want that woman or that man, but never seem to be able to get things right. When we work hard and it seems you never can get to where you are going. It is not by accident that you don't receive those things, it is how things are suppose to be. That is the challenge of life. Being successful while everything you have tried has failed, takes strength, perseverance, belief in yourself and an attitude adjustment. It is your opportunity to stand back take a look and readjust your thinking move about things in a different way. It is not for you to give up, but keep at it. Never become a victim of circumstances. You can even try to adjust your intentions for wanting those things in the fist place. Maybe it is just not for you,and the universe is again saving you from yourself.
My journey is still in progress, but I see where I want to be everyday. I come from the land of negativity. Where the people around me see no good in life. They are filled with complaints, self-hatred and the destruction of anything positive. Money rules their life and provides to them a false sense of accomplishment, but beneath it all is misery. It took me a long time to not become a part of what I was compelled to grow up in. Sometimes we can fault our parents for having horrible childhoods to the point where when we become adults we spend our life trying to really find out who we are. Can you really know when you do not know where you come from? Some of us survive and fulfill our destiny's and other's do not. They fall prey to the destructions of the world. The fruit of life that looks sweet, until we take a bite and that bite is filled with despair, the unloved, hurt, pain and numerous other nameless atrocities of the world,but we swallow it anyway. We know no other way. Only the strong survive; and I do not mean the physically strong. So as I look at my life, yes I can say that I have had some disappointments,some setbacks, and sometimes not even a encouraging word heard, but I keep going, I won't ever stop until I am there. Until I save, change, and give hope to not only my life but a life that's less fortunate. My work won't ever be done. World peace, unity and love until the break of dawn.
Jolie Labelle
Raiders? WTF!!!
I am so glad that I can find refuge in my fantasy team. I do not understand what is happening here... You mean this is what we are going to be looking like for the season?
Defense, can you please make a tackle. Offense can you please catch a ball! WTF!!!My brother's high school team could have done better than that. I hope that is not a reflection of what the year will be looking like. It was waaaay too cold to be out there looking like rookies. Oh wait, they are rookie's......lol
Defense, can you please make a tackle. Offense can you please catch a ball! WTF!!!My brother's high school team could have done better than that. I hope that is not a reflection of what the year will be looking like. It was waaaay too cold to be out there looking like rookies. Oh wait, they are rookie's......lol
Wow!!!! Three Kisses for Britney?
There is so much to talk about. I know I said that I would write all weekend,but my social life prevailed and I had to attend some events. I did get a chance to get home to watch Rihanna rock the crowd and Britney Spears receive her three ass kisses from MTV. Kanye is apparently still hurt from his breakup with whatever his fiance's name was. I mean damn, I am confused, I was digging the song, but what genre of music was that?
I attended a nice little gathering with my friends of the Ugandan community. It is amazing how these people stick together in a country that is not their own. They have come to embrace the culture and make a hell of a living. There was one that had just became a citizen of the US, a few in exile from their country and other's are just here doing what they have to do to get other family members to this country. Since the African and the African-American relationship sometimes experience some strains, I was very happy to be accepted into their community. I am not sure why the relationship is the way it is,but I do know that one of the reason's I am accepted is because I have taken the time to learn, respect and accept our differences. They call me Princess,and rightly so.
I also took the time to see my ole' faithful whom I have been avoiding because of his change and me not being sure which way to go with this. We talked, and he shared things with me that throughout our four years I never knew. We have always been able to talk,but just about things on the surface,nothing too deep. It was a nice conversation and sort of changed the way I look at him. He is a nice piece of eye candy, I mean he had to be for me to be hangin' this long, but I have come to find out he also has a brain and a heart. It makes me think of the other men I see, what will I do? I am not ready to be in a relationship, can't we leave things the way they are? I must admit in the beginning I did catch some feelings for him,but that reality check brought me back to life and made me realize what this was. So I am asking again, can a sexual relationship turn into something fruitful and loving? It's been this way for 4 years! It will probably take an average of four months to completely get rid of him (and wasn't I trying to do that like a month ago?), but even longer to change this relationship into something more than just sex.......hhhhmmmmmmmmm. I am thinking.
RAIDERSS!!!!!!!!
In the meantime, You know my 3rd string called the one I saw with the chick, and he gets no play,not because he was with a chick,who cares, but because of the kind of women he deals with. I was a real treat......so he's needs to just stay in his lane. I knew he was a little on the tacky side when he asked me to take a picture of my "jazzy" and send it to him, who does that? Oh I know, the women he deals with. As a matter of fact, he ain't even 3rd string anymore, he's off the list.
RAIDERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok back to the MTV awards.... Lil'Wayne was omni-present and I ain't mad! Britney did not even perform. Perform what? I did not even know she had an album out and her video where is it in rotation, you tube? Rihanna rules. She rock's, I love her style, and Chris Brown better be puttin it down, because I know a few who would love to cradle that!
I am off.....Raider game tonight!
I attended a nice little gathering with my friends of the Ugandan community. It is amazing how these people stick together in a country that is not their own. They have come to embrace the culture and make a hell of a living. There was one that had just became a citizen of the US, a few in exile from their country and other's are just here doing what they have to do to get other family members to this country. Since the African and the African-American relationship sometimes experience some strains, I was very happy to be accepted into their community. I am not sure why the relationship is the way it is,but I do know that one of the reason's I am accepted is because I have taken the time to learn, respect and accept our differences. They call me Princess,and rightly so.
I also took the time to see my ole' faithful whom I have been avoiding because of his change and me not being sure which way to go with this. We talked, and he shared things with me that throughout our four years I never knew. We have always been able to talk,but just about things on the surface,nothing too deep. It was a nice conversation and sort of changed the way I look at him. He is a nice piece of eye candy, I mean he had to be for me to be hangin' this long, but I have come to find out he also has a brain and a heart. It makes me think of the other men I see, what will I do? I am not ready to be in a relationship, can't we leave things the way they are? I must admit in the beginning I did catch some feelings for him,but that reality check brought me back to life and made me realize what this was. So I am asking again, can a sexual relationship turn into something fruitful and loving? It's been this way for 4 years! It will probably take an average of four months to completely get rid of him (and wasn't I trying to do that like a month ago?), but even longer to change this relationship into something more than just sex.......hhhhmmmmmmmmm. I am thinking.
RAIDERSS!!!!!!!!
In the meantime, You know my 3rd string called the one I saw with the chick, and he gets no play,not because he was with a chick,who cares, but because of the kind of women he deals with. I was a real treat......so he's needs to just stay in his lane. I knew he was a little on the tacky side when he asked me to take a picture of my "jazzy" and send it to him, who does that? Oh I know, the women he deals with. As a matter of fact, he ain't even 3rd string anymore, he's off the list.
RAIDERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok back to the MTV awards.... Lil'Wayne was omni-present and I ain't mad! Britney did not even perform. Perform what? I did not even know she had an album out and her video where is it in rotation, you tube? Rihanna rules. She rock's, I love her style, and Chris Brown better be puttin it down, because I know a few who would love to cradle that!
I am off.....Raider game tonight!
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Rejection = more Affection
Ok the Labor Day weekend was fabulous. I must say that the weather in Northern Cali was very hot and that's the way that I like it! And of course a whole lot of other people liked it as well, so it brought out the best and worst of some of us.
There are those that just do not know how to dress appropriately during the hot weather. There are limits,if you are size 14 you should not be wearing a size 8, simple stuff like that. If you have cottage cheese legs, why show them? If you are looking 8 months pregnant why wear anything tight? Tightened up your gut before you try displaying that larger than life love handle, men included.
Anyway, had to get that off my chest. I avoided all my little boyfriends this weekend, wanted to get a new view on life. I wanted to enjoy the weekend without the added task of entertaining. So my phone rang and I did not answer or did not show to an invite and wow, Monday my phone was ringing off the hook. All the messages had a common theme "Where were you?? "What'sup with you? and so on. Ok, this is where as a woman I have exercised my right not to see anyone,and of course the male ego goes into overdrive. I ignore and they want more. So instead of just disappearing for the weekend,I continued it for the whole week. The where are you's, turned into I miss you's and let's get together. I even saw one of my "friends"out with another chick. That was funny. I said hello, and he looked like he saw Jesus. I was tickled for two reasons: One, the chick he was with looked like the typical I am from the hood, I know my weave looks like a hat, but Chili's is a fancy restaurant.
Reason # two, he was my third string, his avoidance started before the Labor Day weekend and he was already out of his lane trying to upgrade to a woman like me. I am proud of him though for going on a date instead of waiting on me. If you can't get what you want, settle for what you can get.
For some reason my ole' faithful is taking it the hardest, he has been putting in the most effort to contact me. I can not even respond, just don't want him right now. I may have to kick this other dude off my list, he acts a little too bitchy for me, ( I will tell you that story later)and as you know there can be only one bitch in this relationship and that's my dog Coco.
So maybe next week I will entertain someone,it will be well worth the wait for them, and I will be well rested. I am writing the whole weekend,so stay tuned!
There are those that just do not know how to dress appropriately during the hot weather. There are limits,if you are size 14 you should not be wearing a size 8, simple stuff like that. If you have cottage cheese legs, why show them? If you are looking 8 months pregnant why wear anything tight? Tightened up your gut before you try displaying that larger than life love handle, men included.
Anyway, had to get that off my chest. I avoided all my little boyfriends this weekend, wanted to get a new view on life. I wanted to enjoy the weekend without the added task of entertaining. So my phone rang and I did not answer or did not show to an invite and wow, Monday my phone was ringing off the hook. All the messages had a common theme "Where were you?? "What'sup with you? and so on. Ok, this is where as a woman I have exercised my right not to see anyone,and of course the male ego goes into overdrive. I ignore and they want more. So instead of just disappearing for the weekend,I continued it for the whole week. The where are you's, turned into I miss you's and let's get together. I even saw one of my "friends"out with another chick. That was funny. I said hello, and he looked like he saw Jesus. I was tickled for two reasons: One, the chick he was with looked like the typical I am from the hood, I know my weave looks like a hat, but Chili's is a fancy restaurant.
Reason # two, he was my third string, his avoidance started before the Labor Day weekend and he was already out of his lane trying to upgrade to a woman like me. I am proud of him though for going on a date instead of waiting on me. If you can't get what you want, settle for what you can get.
For some reason my ole' faithful is taking it the hardest, he has been putting in the most effort to contact me. I can not even respond, just don't want him right now. I may have to kick this other dude off my list, he acts a little too bitchy for me, ( I will tell you that story later)and as you know there can be only one bitch in this relationship and that's my dog Coco.
So maybe next week I will entertain someone,it will be well worth the wait for them, and I will be well rested. I am writing the whole weekend,so stay tuned!
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Nice Move McCain......But At What Cost?
McCain pulled a very nice surprise, I mean what else could you do when the Democratic Convention went over so well? It moved people, made people believe that there will be change, yes, you and to pull a stunner, but I am sure he and the Republican party are more surprised than most.
I gotta ask,did you really do that on purpose? You mean to tell me you meant to pull some miscellaneous woman from Alaska of all places, who is not only still having babies herself, but is about to become a 44 year old grandmother to an unwed teenage daughter's child. Wow, that sounds real Republican. Are you sure you are not from East Oakland or East LA, where this kind of behavior is looked down upon and judged harshly. Now it's ok, because we want her to be our VP? I think not!
For the shock value this was a very shocking move, and now lets get down to the real deal. Who's fucking idea was this? I am sure after Ms. Palin speaks tonight they will be fired! If I can judge this situation correctly and I am not by any means a political analyst, but tonight her speech will be surrounding how she has rose to her position while raising her children and supporting her husband. The fact that her daughter is a pregnant teen is just an example that she is not a "perfect" mother and that they are pro-choice and taking responsibility for the matter, by marrying. Yeah..ok. She will probably go on to say how she has made stride in getting to where she is today, and had to push and fight for her position..blah, blah,blah. It will all sounds good, but lady you are from Alaska, are you kiddin' me? She may go on and ditto the issues that McCain supports to take away all the attention off the fact that she is has less experience than my 14 year old brother. I do not quite understand why criticise someone for lack of experience and then turn around and choose a person with less experience for a running mate. He is already talking backwards, and displaying signs of Alzheimer's. So I guess what's not good for my house is better for yours?
Tonight will tell the tale, and I will be watching, and if nothing else it will go down in history as the biggest embarrassment in Republican party history.
I gotta ask,did you really do that on purpose? You mean to tell me you meant to pull some miscellaneous woman from Alaska of all places, who is not only still having babies herself, but is about to become a 44 year old grandmother to an unwed teenage daughter's child. Wow, that sounds real Republican. Are you sure you are not from East Oakland or East LA, where this kind of behavior is looked down upon and judged harshly. Now it's ok, because we want her to be our VP? I think not!
For the shock value this was a very shocking move, and now lets get down to the real deal. Who's fucking idea was this? I am sure after Ms. Palin speaks tonight they will be fired! If I can judge this situation correctly and I am not by any means a political analyst, but tonight her speech will be surrounding how she has rose to her position while raising her children and supporting her husband. The fact that her daughter is a pregnant teen is just an example that she is not a "perfect" mother and that they are pro-choice and taking responsibility for the matter, by marrying. Yeah..ok. She will probably go on to say how she has made stride in getting to where she is today, and had to push and fight for her position..blah, blah,blah. It will all sounds good, but lady you are from Alaska, are you kiddin' me? She may go on and ditto the issues that McCain supports to take away all the attention off the fact that she is has less experience than my 14 year old brother. I do not quite understand why criticise someone for lack of experience and then turn around and choose a person with less experience for a running mate. He is already talking backwards, and displaying signs of Alzheimer's. So I guess what's not good for my house is better for yours?
Tonight will tell the tale, and I will be watching, and if nothing else it will go down in history as the biggest embarrassment in Republican party history.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Oops............I did it again!
Yes, I fell prey to that one that gives it to me in the most wild way. I think if it were not for my love of being explored sexually,then he would have been gone. Now it's about comfort, he knows my body without having a clue about my mind. So I pretend that he has the upper hand, when in reality I am running this. Always have and always will. There is one thing you have to understand about being a true and complete woman. When you know who you are and understand the power you have as a woman, you can sit back and watch as the picture unfolds; watch your creation come to life. Watch how he takes the lead,watch how he thinks he has the control, while you knowingly gave him that position in the first place. That's how you separate the strong from the weak, the big boys for the little ones. And when you are single and living your life to the fullest like me, it's quite a joy to watch.
Ok, back to him....
He fulfills that small void of intimacy since I am not in a committed relationship. I am beginning to feel that since he has had a change of heart that I should stop this little "thang", I have going on. We no longer have the same intentions. He probably thinks,like most men do when they make you cum,that they are the only one that can actually do that. No one can do it the way that they do, so they like to think. And yes, I acknowledge those that are right, but there are a lot of them that are simply wrong, wrong, wrong. Since I am more than what they can penetrate me with, I enjoy it for what it is, no more, no less. Since I am on the brink of letting that man go, I must say I have enjoyed what he has given me last few years. Iam not saying that I am ready to be in a committed relationship, or that I may not have a relapse or two, I am saying that all things come to an end. I am moving on and welcoming someone who can give it to me on all levels.
I have shared this with my lover in so many ways, and he had the nerves to say that he felt used. I was completely shocked, as if he provided a service that he too did not benefit from. I knew where the disconnect happened when he wanted more, but in a different way. He is not ready for the real truth of the matter, it would probably cause his brain to combust and I cannot be responsible for any tragedies.
Life goes on. I am definitely a drummer that beats her own tune. I often may get off beat, but even while doing so, it is the beat that I am suppose to carry. I love my life,and even more so, the life that I have envisioned for myself. There is nothing like living your life that is designed by no one but yourself. I practice free will daily, and give in any way I can. One day this phase of life will end and I will welcome the next with, faith, excitement and gratitude.
Ok I got off subject a bit, but there are these times that I want to share a little more about who I am and what I am about. Everything I do comes from the heart.
Today, give someone a hug.. Maybe a person you would not normally hug, and if you are feeling real gifty, a complete stranger, just share a little of yourself, just because.
Smooches
Ok, back to him....
He fulfills that small void of intimacy since I am not in a committed relationship. I am beginning to feel that since he has had a change of heart that I should stop this little "thang", I have going on. We no longer have the same intentions. He probably thinks,like most men do when they make you cum,that they are the only one that can actually do that. No one can do it the way that they do, so they like to think. And yes, I acknowledge those that are right, but there are a lot of them that are simply wrong, wrong, wrong. Since I am more than what they can penetrate me with, I enjoy it for what it is, no more, no less. Since I am on the brink of letting that man go, I must say I have enjoyed what he has given me last few years. Iam not saying that I am ready to be in a committed relationship, or that I may not have a relapse or two, I am saying that all things come to an end. I am moving on and welcoming someone who can give it to me on all levels.
I have shared this with my lover in so many ways, and he had the nerves to say that he felt used. I was completely shocked, as if he provided a service that he too did not benefit from. I knew where the disconnect happened when he wanted more, but in a different way. He is not ready for the real truth of the matter, it would probably cause his brain to combust and I cannot be responsible for any tragedies.
Life goes on. I am definitely a drummer that beats her own tune. I often may get off beat, but even while doing so, it is the beat that I am suppose to carry. I love my life,and even more so, the life that I have envisioned for myself. There is nothing like living your life that is designed by no one but yourself. I practice free will daily, and give in any way I can. One day this phase of life will end and I will welcome the next with, faith, excitement and gratitude.
Ok I got off subject a bit, but there are these times that I want to share a little more about who I am and what I am about. Everything I do comes from the heart.
Today, give someone a hug.. Maybe a person you would not normally hug, and if you are feeling real gifty, a complete stranger, just share a little of yourself, just because.
Smooches
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